From Phoenix with Love
by Shady Phee
Summary: Bella's a girl who was born into an unfortunate life. A life of a street rat, then a foster child, then a sex slave. Edward's a boy who was born into a normal one, with loving parents. Bella sees the world as a prison while Edward sees it full of promise. Random chains of events cause the two souls from totally different worlds to encounter. This is a story of healing and love.
1. The System, the Trade and the Market

**Disclaimer**: All recognizable characters are property of their respective owners.

**Warning**: This story my be offensive to some. Graphic sexual scenes and violence will ensue. Bella starts off in a very tragic world, things that some people might find disgusting will happen to her. Especially in the first three chapters.

* * *

_Nobody's daughter_

_She never was_

_She never will..._

_You don't understand how damaged you really are_

_You don't understand how evil we really are..._

_-Nobody's Daughter _by Hole

(Isabella (Scrap) Swan)

Billions of young girls are smuggled from country to country yearly.

Sold or traded as sex slaves. Not the most lucrative business, so says researchers, but people wanted their whores so the the business thrived on.

Most of the girls were poorly educated, if not completely uneducated, between the ages of 13 to 20 and were almost always from different countries. Though, there were few exceptions. Like me. I was relatively educated and from and still lived in America. I was born with the promise of freewill. I was a "wily spirit" as the flunkies liked to call me. Which, in turn, brought cause for me to be punished, or trained, as they so kindly put it.

How did I come to be a sex slave? Well, quite simply, I was sold by my parents. Nobodies really. Just another bunch of drug addicts and plain old low lives. Me being the little druggie nobody baby. I didn't have a valid birth certificate. Not until later on in life. I was born in a dark, empty alley by a hobo in exchange for crank.

I was 9 when a social-worker found me sitting in the Phoenix City Park with a group of delinquents. These delinquents were the closet thing I had to a family. Granted, I still had my parents at the time, but we rarely saw each other at that point. I believed they had found a new raving drug or something or the other that had them MIA for weeks on end.

The woman took me to a foster center. Where I met a striking amount of children like me. It was sadly reassuring to know I wasn't the only one. It took approximately a month to get me registered into the system. Birth certificate, SSN, the works. Oh, and a name. A _real_ name. One day one of the delinquents called me Scrap and it stuck. That was the closest thing I'd ever had to a name.

The woman asked me what I wanted to be called and I shrugged my shoulders. Scrap seemed fine to me at the time. She couldn't stand for that. It seemed to oddly upset her that I didn't have a "normal" name. She looked at me, tapping her finger to her chin in thought. We stood in silence until finally her face brightened.

"I've got it," she exclaimed. "Isabella, Bella. Now, all we need is a last name. Hmmm...do you know your parents last name?"

I thought about it for a second, then shook my head.

She frowned, but quickly controlled it. "Well, it doesn't matter." She smiled. "What's your favorite animal?"

I thought about it. The most animals I had seen or known of were mangy dogs, alley cats and rats. I was about to shrug again when an image popped into my head. An image of the park I frequented often with the delinquents. I saw a pond and swarms of different birds milling over the water. One bird was the prominent thing that occupied my image while all the rest were out of focus. The bird was a swan. Markedly larger and more graceful than the rest of the mob.

I mumbled one word. "Swan."

She caught it and smiled. "Swan, hmm? I like it. It suits you." She patted my shoulder and there it was. I was then on officially Isabella Swan.

The staff set me up for a general knowledge test, motor skills and various others. I failed all of them. That was no matter, the social-worker, Renee, regularly told me. I would practice and learn one day at a time.

I started my beginners class a few short days later. I was nervous for various reasons. Renee walked me to the room, vowing to me the entire way that I would do fine, even great. I doubted that, but nodded wordlessly anyway.

Renee winked and opened the door. The whole room fell silent and I swore everyone could hear my heart thudding in my throat. The teacher, a homely looking woman, smiled at me and directed us in.

Renee and the woman exchanged a few words, then Renee left with an affectionate pat on my head.

The teacher bent down to her hunches to face me. "Hello, dear."

"Hello." I mumbled, self-conscience of my terrible speech.

"My name is Cindy Blake, Mrs. Blake."

"Hello, Mrs. Blake." I stumbled on the word _Mrs._ My downcast eyes skittered around the room. I was surprised to find no one was laughing or even looking at me funny.

I marginally relaxed and let Mrs. Blake show me to my desk.

Looking around the room again, I noticed the different variations of ages in the classroom. From 3 to approximately 13. Some even looked to be around 16. I relaxed a great deal more. We were all, in some way or the other, the same. No ridicule here. For once in my life, I felt like I might've belonged.

Years passed and I had, after throwing myself into long nights of studying, reached my 9th year of studies. The concepts did not come to me easily. The contrary actually. I struggled for every mediocre grade I got. I was far from book smart. I wasn't even street smart. I was...well mediocre. And as hard as I tried to alter that, the more it become blatantly obvious that I would be mediocre for the rest of my life. I was fine with that as I thought back on the lifeless shells of children close to—if not exactly—my age scattered across alleyways and such. At least I was still alive.

I skipped from foster family after foster family through those years too. I had quite a few families considering adopting me for the first few years. After I hit 11, less and less consider until finally it was pointless to be hopeful. Once I turned 13, I refused to accept foster family request, to Renee's dismay. It wasn't in my right to do so, but I made the meetings so unbearable that the families couldn't get away fast enough.

I was 14, weeks away from 15, when my parents showed up out of the blue. I stood stunned as the urge to run took over me. _What were they doing here? What did they want? _I knew instinctively that whatever reason couldn't be good. I stared at them while they talked to Renee. They cleaned up well, I'd give them that. At least on the surface. I could see the telltale flinching that was unnoticeable to a passing glance.

They walked to me, all smiles. I could feel my face darkening. Renee's smile fell then, but she kept walking towards me. I hated her for that. For betraying me.

"Bella, look who's here to see you." Renee said cautiously.

As if on cue, my mother began to cry profusely. My father came in for a hug but I evaded, side stepping. They all looked at me quizzically, as if I was a misbehaving child. The injustice of it all was maddening. I didn't know these people. They were strangers. But they had genetic proof, which was apparently enough for the government.

After a long, drown out interview and a round-about physiological examination, my parents were dubbed suitable. _Suitable_? At that moment, I realized how deficient the government really was. I lost all confidence in my country that day.

I walked down the hall with my parents, refusing to look at anyone. I didn't want any heartfelt goodbyes. I was cross and felt betrayed by every single one of them. Unjustifiably, I knew, but I didn't care.

Renee was waiting for me at the entrance, tears in her eyes. I didn't want her phony tears. I wanted her to fight for me. I realized then that I had begun to think of Renee as a mother figure. How gravely disappointed I was. She hugged me and I stood passively, not returning the gesture. She finally broke away, wiping away tears with a helpless look on her face. _Forgive me_, her eyes pleaded. I shook my head and walked around her. Out the door to my new life.

My parents quickly dropped the facade, only blocks away. It was longer than I had thought they'd wait. I almost felt like applauding for their grand performance. My father grabbed my elbow and dragged me to an alley way, forcing me against a wall and punching me in the gut. I dry heaved as pain rocked through my whole body.

"You little bitch." He spat. "Who the fuck do you think you are, running off on us like that? You think you're better than us, huh? Well guess what? _Your not!_ You're nothing but thrash, good-for-nothing trash!" He proceeded to throw me blow after blow until I feared I would black-out.

Mother finally stepped in. "That's enough, baby!" She pulled him away, looking at the damage and pouting. "Now, look what you've done. You've gone and smashed her pretty little face all up. He'll have nothing to do with her now."

_He?_ Who was _he_? I thought dazedly.

"Sorry." He muttered gruffly.

She petted his head lovingly. "It's okay, baby. We'll keep a hold on her till the damage goes away."

My heart skipped a beat when I realized just how deranged my parents really were. Speaking of me as if I were an animal. I turned my head and vomited.

* * *

_He _ended up being Aro. That was it. One name, like Madonna or Cher. Pretentious, I thought. My parents were right, he was furious at the damage my father had done. Damage that was still significantly noticeable after three weeks. My parents were in a frenzy of how long it was taking for me to heal. I was putting a major damper in their plans. I pettily enjoyed their distress. Aro still took me though. I was a fine piece of property that he'd be foolish to pass up, he said. Plus, I was far easier to acquire. No need to tediously smuggle me. Aro rarely took immigrants after this revelation.

Aro liked no hassle.

My parents exchanged me for 2 grand. They scuttled off to find there latest drug dealer. I reflected that the money would begone in a weeks time—if that.

Aro walked around me in a slow, accessing circle. I stood stock still, breathing as softly as I could.

"How old are you?" He asked, articulately.

"15." I mumbled.

"Speak up, child."

"15, sir." I complied.

He smiled, a condescending twist of lip. "Good, good, you're already taking to the role of a subordinate. But you've always known your lower raking, haven't you?"

I nodded, my gaze locked on the floor.

"Look at me."

I obeyed against my better judgment. Every nerve in my body was screaming to be very, very afraid of this man.

He smiled again and my stomach turned. "You are quite lovely. You'll be very profitable to me. At least, for your sake, you better hope so."

I could only nod at that ominous statement.

He walked closer and I fought the urge to step back. He fingered a strand of my dark hair. "Hmm, very lovely, indeed." He locked my eyes with his cold gray ones. "I normally don't feel the need to taste any of my assets, but I might reconsider for you."

I couldn't help the shaking then. It took a relentless hold over my body. Aro seemed to enjoy that. My fear. I could see in his eyes how much he wanted to bath himself in it.

A trimmer went through his body as he took a rough hold of my hair, straining my head back and causing my neck to stretch to a painful angle. I felt his nose trail up and down my neck and I shuddered in revulsion.

He placed his ear to the frantic pulse point at my neck. "Listen to that thumping. Hmm, delicious." His hand trailed down to my bottom and he squeezed hard, electing a frightened yelp from me. He thoroughly relished that.

He shoved his erection against my stomach as he ripped my shirt apart to showcase my unremarkable bosom. Tears stung my eyes as he scooped my small breast out of my training bra and molded it forcibly.

He released me. I started to feel somewhat relieved until he knelt and jerked my shorts and panties down my hips. I cried out in fear and he laughed. I tried to cover myself but he pinned my arms behind my back with one hand.

"Don't fight me," He said gruffly, yanking my arms down. "You'll only make it worse for yourself."

I nodded as coughing snobs caught at my throat.

"Good, now, be a dear, and relax." He murmured in a velvety voice that made me sick.

I whimpered as a finger prodded at the most intimate part of my body; my body full out convulsing now. The finger explored for a moment and that wasn't too bad, until he shoved it inside my entrance. I screamed as tears fell down my face and my knees began to wobble.

He groaned. "I can feel your tight little walls clamping around my intrusion. I'd almost forgotten how delightful virgins are." He seemed to be talking mostly to himself.

I looked down at him with growing terror. Realizing fully then what he intended to do. His eyes literally rolled in the back of his head at the look on my face.

He brought his mouth to me, eyes locking mine in a changeling way. His eyes mocked me to try and stop him. He fastened his lips around my peak and bit hard and fast. My body instinctively tried to jerk away but he held me iron-tight to his mouth. I stilled myself from moving or uttering a sound, bitting my lip to hold back the screams. Aro did not like that.

He changed his whole rhythm, licking and caressing, even his hands softened. That was the worse of all. Because no matter how hard I fought, it still felt good. The heavy warmth kept growing until I convulsed with a whole different kind of scream. He released me unceremoniously. I covered my eyes with my hand and cried as the numbness took a hold of me. He had humiliated me. Showing me what a whore I really was.

He stood and pulled my shorts up slowly, kissing my neck softly. I forced myself not to jerk away from his revolting touch. I stood passively, embracing this new numbness, waiting for him to finish what he started.

He whispered in my ear. "Don't worry, little one. I won't fully have you, because your worth more to me as a virgin. But I will have you. Soon I hope." Then he walked away.

I crumbled to the floor in a quivering, sniveling ball.

And that was the beginning of my hell on earth.


	2. Water for Dogs

**Warning: **Again these next two chapters are sexually graphic. Bella's age may disgust and offend some. But please remember that the people doing it to her are vial, awful people. I promise once you get through these next ones it'll be totally different for her.

_Fee fi fo she smells his body_

_She smells his body_

_And it makes her sick to her mind_

_He has got so much to answer for_

_To answer for, To ruin a child's mind_

_-Fee Fi Fo _by Cranberries

(Isabella (Whore) Swan)

Aro found me a buyer with surprising rapidness.

Apparently, 15 year olds virgins were prime real-estate. Me being native was an added bonus too. Aro informed me lavishly that men were just bitting at the chomps to have me. I said nothing, just looked at him blankly. I could see the urge to slap me blossoming over his face. He restrained it. Couldn't have damaged goods. Bad for business. I smiled inwardly.

My small, defiant victory did not last long. Not even a hour, in fact. I was delivered to this highest bidder in less than 30 minutes. Aro smiled exultantly at me as he exchanged me to the old, heavy-set man for 100,000 dollars. If this wasn't a lucrative business, I didn't know what was. I couldn't help but be impressed with Aro's money making skills. To spend 2k on someone then turn it over to 100k was a feat in and of itself. I absorbed this with an odd sense of detachment before the man had his grubby hands on me.

The man, who's name I didn't care to know, would keep me for a maximum of 4 weeks. No more. Then I was to be returned and sold for a considerably lower price.

The man took me to his plush home and for some reason put on a display of wining and dining me. Dressing me in a monkey suit. Not an actual monkey suit, but it might as well have been. A form fighting eggshell white dress/night gown thing trimmed to the brim with lace. The dress was itchy and I didn't see the point in the preliminaries.

Tubby didn't like my lack of appreciation one iota.

He slammed his silverware down when he finally couldn't stand it anymore. "You insolent little whore! Fine, if you don't wanna play nice, I can be cruel." He stood and stalked to me. "I'll show you how to be fucking respectful." He unfastened his pants and pulled out his off-putting erection. "Get on your knees, whore, and do what you're payed for."

I got to my knees and serviced him clumsily. I hadn't been taught the way of pleasuring a man. I was shot through the cattle shoot to quickly for that. I knew the basics. What went were and the required movements. Other than that, I was drawing complete blanks.

Becoming quickly impatient, he pushed me to the ground. "You don't even know how to give decent head. You're worth less than a piece of dog shit." He walked to his chair, sat and resumed his meal. "I'll teach you. You'll be a cock sucking machine by the time I'm through with you."

He kept his promise, making me take everything he had until I gaged on my own breath. He would call for me at random and made me service him as many times as he wanted. Sometimes once, sometimes many, many times. I would go to the dingy basement with a raw throat and only then allow myself to cry myself to sleep.

I was surprised and anxious about the fact that he hadn't commanded intercourse for the first two weeks. Which, I now knew, was because he sickly loved my apprehension. The game of cat and mouse. I knew he was coming for me, but never when. I would make myself sick worrying about it. And I betted that got him all wilded up thinking about it.

I fantasized about fleeing multiple times. But quickly discarded the notion. What would I do once I got out? Surely not go back to the foster center, the people who kick-started this whole thing into motion. No, I had no where to go. No work experience. And not nearly enough education to make anything of myself. Plus, the surveillance cameras occupying nearly every corner squashed all lingering hope of escape.

So I stayed and waited for my impending fate.

He made me wait him out four more days. By then, he'd waited one too many days, and I was resolved about it. Which pissed him off that much more. He, like Aro, wanted me terrified. That much the sweeter.

He tried his damnedest to invoke fear within me, even tossing a beating here and there. I stayed unmoving to his ministrations. The numbness having worked its way all the through to my soul. He absolutely loathed that. Finally taking a revolver to my head. Even I wasn't cool to the face of death yet. I gulped audibly as my pulse quickened.

He chuckled, trailing the gun down to my diminutive cleavage. "I could have you dead or alive." He murmured in my ear. "You are, after all, my property and I can do whatever I fucking please with you." He pushed his erection against my bottom. "What'll be, wench, life or death?"

I thought absently that he was giving _me _the choice, contradicting what he had earlier said. I didn't bring this fact to his attention. I gave him what he wanted and sobbed loudly. He groaned, dry humping my backside.

"That's right. Maybe you're smarter than I thought." He pocketed the gun and flipped my nightgown, the same one from the first night (he made me wear it at all times, like a life-size sex doll), over my bare butt. "If you behave and do as I say, I might be nice to you."

I screamed as he whipped me with something that wasn't his hand. Belt, I suspected with the stinging feel of it. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. He whipped me two more times for good measure than unceremoniously thrusted inside me. I cried out in excruciating pain, tears cascading down my face.

He pumped himself in and out of me mercilessly, grunting and whispering harsh words in my ear. "That's right, take it, bitch. Take it like the dog you are."

I hung my head as he finally finished with a shudder. Pulling out, he made me kneel before him. "Now clean it." I knew he didn't mean with a towel either.

I did as he said, wanting him gone as soon as possible. I tried to hide my hatred, but doubted I succeeded. I did all the things I knew he liked so he wouldn't notice.

He left me raw and aching in the cold basement, like a flea-bitten mongrel. I touched my dry cheek. _How old_. I'd stopped crying sometime in the middle of all the agony.

I never cried again after that night.

**A/N:** I have quite a few chapters already written for this story. But I'm gonna update weekly, to try and keep the story posting regularly.

Thanks for reading,

Phee


	3. Memoirs of the Desolate

**Warning: **Last offensive chapter, I swear. Then the saving will commence. _Please, please, please_ with cherries on top, don't stop reading, explanations will be at the end.

**Disclaimer:** The plot is the only thing I claim.

* * *

_It's unfortunate that when we feel a stone _

_We can roll ourselves over cause we're uncomfortable_

_Oh, well, the devil makes us sin_

_But we lack it when we're spinning in his grin_

_-Paradise Circus _by Massive Attack

(Isabella (Pet) Swan)

Tubby came to me every night after that. I did all the right things; sniveling like a baby without actual tears dropping. It wasn't hard to put on the performance. I hated the man more and more every single time he touched me.

Tub-of-lard's days of terror finally ended, to his great remorse. Packaging me back to Aro, deflowered and effectively subordinate. Aro was as pleased as punch to have me back. Informing me on my arrival that he had already booked me another john (client) but I wouldn't go before he'd had me. After all, it wouldn't do to have an old, run down whore.

I had foolishly hoped he wouldn't want me after my ruining. I was, yet again, wrong.

He sent me to the hags—older whores who were retired and had picked up nasty drug habits and had no other means of getting their fix, so they worked as house slaves, or in my case, some sick version of ladies-in-waiting—to get ready for him.

After I was tested and cleared for STDs, they primped and dressed me in full black garments. A black dress that scooped and formed my breast into actual cleavage and trailed down all the way to the floor with two slits on each side that went all the way to my hips. They placed a black crystal chocker neckless that covered nearly my whole neck. My hair straight and flowing down my back. Green eyes shadowed and mysterious. Lips thick and red. I felt like a slutty version of Mrs. Adams. _Snap, snap._

The mother hag shooed the rest out, closing the door and coming to me. An urgent look on her face. I was already nervous about tonights happenings and she wasn't helping.

"Child, listen to me." She whispered in botched-up english, her accent thick and exotic. Russian, I guessed, from the sound of it. "If you were smart you'd pleasure Mr. Aro in a way you'd never pleasured a man before."

I went to say I've only pleasured one man but she interrupted me.

"I 'ow, I 'ow. You've only had one man, but that doesn't matter." She gripped my shoulders. "You look like a smart girl. That is why you must listen to me. Aro is a very greedy man. You make him want you. You make him want you so bad he won't ever want anyone to have you again. Do you understand?"

I looked at her anew, understanding fully what she meant. A flunky busted in then, dragging the hag away.

Aro was waiting for me in his bedroom, also not surprisingly, decked out in black. He lounged on the black velvet sheets. Completely naked. I was shocked to realize how handsome he was, at least for a man who could easily be my father. Unrelenting fear pierced through me as I tried to still my shaky hands. I fought against the panic just enough to keep a calm exterior.

"Come." Was all he said, rubbing a place next to him.

I walked to the bed, trying to make my hips move in a fluid motion. I was apparently doing a good job of it, because Aro's eyes darkened.

"Stop."

I froze.

"Remove the dress." He licked his lips. "Slowly."

I allowed a repulsed shiver to pass through my body. That titillated Aro something silly. His eyes drank in my terror like a cat did cream.

I molted out of the dress, not too showy. I even stopped in reluctance to get his juices going more. The dress fell to the ground and I was left in thin panties. A thong, to be exact. A thoroughly uncomfortable article of clothing. I bent to remove the heals.

"Keep them." Aro's hoarse voice stopped me. I looked up at him nervously, letting the fear show in my eyes. He visibly swallowed. "Come."

I went to him, he pulled me down with frightening force. A petrified yelp escaped my throat.

"C-could-could you be..." I said uneasily, letting my voice trail off and averting my gaze in a submissive way.

He pinned my chin between is hand and locked our eyes. "What, little one?"

I looked at his nose as I whispered almost inaudibly, voice trembling. "Could you please be gentle?"

He caressed my hair and cheek. "Oh, pet, are you scared?"

I nodded jerkingly. I really was. So bad I had to chock down bile.

He breathed in deeply, as he shivered. "Lovely, just lovely."

I stilled myself for the violence to come, submerging further into my frozen fortress.

He caressed my side, brushing the side of my breast. I gasped in shock at the tingling sensation breaking through the numbness. "Pet, I will tell you something, but it must never leave us. Understand?" He looked at me, waiting.

I nodded.

His hand continued to stroke my breasts. "Good. I don't maltreat my things. I like pretty things and you my dear are _very_ pretty. I'd be terribly upset with myself if I ruined one of my prettiest things. I must teach my property respect though. Remind them of their place. Do you understand?"

I nodded again. I was very aware of my place. With the rest of the damned and discarded. Girls and woman who never stood a chance. Life dealing us the shitty cards.

"Speak, pet."

"I think so." I mumbled, dread tracing my voice.

"Excellent." He tweaked the bud of my nipple and I gasped again. The stinging pain alarming. My body responded against my will, nipples hardening. "Now, if you're obedient, I'll be gentle." He smelt my hair, his breath skimming down my neck, chilled me to the bone. "Hmm, I'll even show you pleasures you've never dreamed of." He guided my hands to his chest. "Touch me."

I went straight for his erection, Tubby had taught me to give men pleasure with almost every part of my body.

Aro grabbed my hands, chuckling hoarsely. "No, pet, not so soon. My, are you eager." He guided my hands back to his chest. "Start slow, the anticipation's half the fun."

I let my hands explore his muscled chest—there was a substantial difference between Aro's chest and Tubby's—tracing the lines and curves of his abdomen. I looked at his nipple, then up at him. Asking. I wasn't sure if it was too soon for that. He nodded. I kissed his nipple awkwardly, Tubby had not shown me this. Unlike Tubs, Aro didn't get impatient and let me find my own rhythm. I was grateful and didn't fully trust it. This new patient and kind Aro seemed too good to be true.

"Kiss me."

I looked down.

He chuckled softly. "No, no, pet, there'll be plenty of time for that." He lifted up my face with one finger hooked under my chin. "Kiss my lips."

I looked at his lips and was suddenly nervous all over again. I'd never kissed anyone before. Tubby wanted me to feel like a whore in every since of the word.

Noticing my expression change, Aro's eyes widened. "You've never been kissed before, have you?"

I shook my head, looking down.

He nudged my chin. "There's no need to be embarrassed, pet. I'll teach you. Just follow my lead."

He brought his lips to mine and brushed mine lightly. I followed his movements with stumbling ones of my own, astonished of how soft his lips were. His motions became more aggressive, prying my lips to open with the force of it. He's true side was breaking through. I readied myself for the agony to come. Numbness rushed to the rescue to keep the terror at bay. Then his tongue licked inside my mouth and I gasped as the numbness was pushed away. I jerked away, my harsh breathing echoing in my head. He let me, releasing my head.

"What's the matter, pet?" He asked calmly, eyes neutral as if he was inquiring about the weather.

I put my hands to my mouth. "What was that?"

"What?"

"What you just did?"

He chuckled, stroking my cheek. "Oh, you are precious. That's called a french kiss, my pet. A very sensual kiss. Don't fight it. When you feel my tongue, mingle yours with mine. Understand?"

I nodded, not ready at all but having little other choice.

We started kissing again. I didn't make him force my mouth open because it had hurt the last time. When I felt his tongue in my mouth, I tentatively touched his with mine. It took a time, but I finally found a rhythm I was somewhat comfortable with. Aro was patient and coaxing the entire time. I felt nothing as this happened. I was aware that our mouths were merging in a detached way. A sort of vacuousness took over me. Completely dulled to any sensations.

He laid me on my back, removing my panties and looking up at me from the V of my hips. "Now, be a dear, and don't squirm too much."

I nodded jerkingly, stilling myself. Commanding my unruly body to be apathetic. I wouldn't let myself feel anything. I wouldn't.

He started off soft and slow, licking and teasing. I tried to fight against the building pressure but was mortified when I couldn't. Cursing my body to hell, soul breaking. This was worse than what Tubby did. So much worse. This was suppose to be terrible. I didn't want this. Detested Aro touching me. Detested my bitch of a body for disregarding my pleas as an appalling heat built down low. His finger came to me then, making me jump in aversion. He shushed me, murmuring for me to relax. His finger entered me, his palm cupping me. I closed my eyes as sensations assaulted me. My last, tattered piece of dignity ripped away as my ineffectual body flopped about helplessly. I looked down at Aro anxiously, afraid my thrashing would anger him. He didn't seem to mind my uncontrollable squirms. Relished them actually. Took in my misery with gleeful abandon too. He knew he was demoralizing me and loved it. My body crumpled down, losing all sense of control; breathing in short, labored gasp. It was too much, almost painful. I whimpered as the heavy tension started to grow.

"That's it," he rasped as his fingers quickened aggressively. "Let go. Let it take you."

It broke over me, sending me into a wiggling, whimpering mess. Aro milked the after shocks, kissing his way up to my lips. He kissed me deeply, I would've found it disgusting to be tasting myself but everything was still fuzzy.

He kissed the hollow behind my ear. "Hmm, you are simply wonderful. So naive, yet so responsive." I turned my face away, feeling nauseated.

He settled himself between my thighs. I whimpered and scooted away at the feel of his erection touching tender areas.

"D-don't-don't you want me to..." I looked down at the imposing length of him.

He followed my gaze and chuckled. "No, I want to be inside you. I want to watch you're face as I claim you."

"O-okay."

I squeezed my eyes shut in pain as I felt the tip of him pushing at my entrance. I wasn't a virgin by any means, but Aro was significantly larger than Tubby. A searing heat went through me as he thrusted further.

I had a death grip on his shoulders, face buried in the crook of his neck. It hurt so terribly much. He was too much. I wouldn't be able to take him. Then a soothing ripple of sensation came over me and it wasn't so bad. Still painful but bearable. Aro drove himself further, his body shaking convulsively.

When he finally buried himself as much as he could, he pulled out. Stinging soreness throbbed where he'd been. Then he was filling me again. He started off slow, steadily driving in and out. Filling me to the brim, then leaving me almost completely.

My hands relaxed marginally, as I blankly stared at a painting of melted clocks. I felt such contempt for him and the dense warmth my body was allowing. He kissed me roughly, mouth demanding, as he lost control of his rhythm. Plunging harder and harder, sending sharp pangs of pain and pleasure. I could handle the pain it was the pleasure I hated. I felt so terribly weak. So utterly irremediable.

He broke away from my lips and looked down lecherously at me. Arching his back and thrusting in and out, hitting a sensitive part over and over until I couldn't hold back the towering wave of pleasure anymore. It crashed ruthlessly over me. My limbs felt heavy as they dropped to my side. Bitting my neck, my ear, my lips, he thrusted one last time and came calling out an obscenity hoarsely.

He stayed over me, constricting the air flowing through my lungs.

Eventually he rolled off me, allowing me to gasp for breath. I was immensely soar but not raw. Tubby had taught me what it felt like to really be raw—the kind of raw where skin would pull back and bleed. After the aftershock of the orgasm wore off, I felt the numbness I'd fought so hard for finally take hold. As shattered as my soul was, a dull flicker still burned. Almost indictable but still there.

I'd barracked my soul long before I'd even donned the dress. (Honestly I'd safeguarded myself when I first saw my parents step into the center.) If I didn't protect my fragile, frightened soul I would simply be a vessel that held organs by now. A piece of meat for these loathsome men to use for their own sick pleasures. Under the thick stainless steal walls I'd constructed, my mind and heart were screaming and crying _NO _while my traitorous, stupid body wouldn't listen.

Filmy, lifeless eyes of the girls I'd seen when I was first brought here passed through my memory. All of them had lesions coating their bodies. Some from diseases others from beatings. One girl in particular stayed with me the most. Half her face was burned, one side perfect milky-white, the other marred with angry, melting flesh. One eye cloudy from blindness, the other chocolate one so totally vacant. I didn't know exactly what the girls were doing there when I first saw them, but once I did the terrifying revelation that a john had done that to that poor girl hit me like a bullet to the chest. Some basic, primal instinct took a hold of me then. I would do anything I could not to be like those girls.

I'd contemplated suicide of course but inherent need to live prevented me from committing to that escape plan. Aro was a better version of hell for me. Cause as much as he pretended to not like to inflect pain and as gentle as he may have been, I knew he was evil. I didn't delude myself in thinking he was anything but wicked. He sold me packaged and delivered to Tubby happily. He took sex from a 15-year-old girl as if he had all the rights in the world.

The girl's scorched face with her dead, dead eyes flashed before my vision again. I shuttered inwardly, her face was the promise of my miserable future to come. I was dismal and scared now, but I would fight to survive until I felt my spirit vanishing like that singed girl's. I _would _kill myself before that happened.

I began to crawl off the bed to leave to go back to my small, grimy room; which I shared with 4 other girls. Back to my rightful, inferior place. That month long training taking affect.

Aro grabbed my ankle, causing me to yelp in surprise. "Where are you going?"

I looked at the door. "Back to my bed?" It was formed into a question by my tone of voice.

He tugged me back to bed next to him. "Sleep with me. You'll sleep with me for now on. Understand?"

I nodded, swallowing hard as he smiled wolfishly at me. He whispered with sinister undertones that I was his. _His pet._ That no one would _ever_ have me again. Before he drifted off to sleep.

And that's how I became the devil's consort.

* * *

**A/N**: If you haven't stopped reading already because this was too revolting for you, please let me explain. Again these people are horrific excuses for human beings. Bella in this story has always lived a life where the key was to survive and she'd rather sleep with the devil she knows than ones she doesn't. I SWEAR that this is not a sick, twisted love story between Bella and Aro. I debated for months if I should cut out the graphic stuff, but I wanted to submerse the reader into how wretched and cruel Bella's life was. And how people had used and abused her for their own purpose. I promise Edward will come _and_ is well worth the wait. (He's my favorite out of the two I've written.) He has a small mention in chapter 4, but chapter 8 is his POV. Chapter 4 is Renee's POV and Chapter 5 Bella will be saved. Please just keep reading, if y'all need the next chapter as a pallet cleanser updated sooner—like right away. I'll be more than happy to do just that. Also the first couple of chapters are very short, but they get a bit longer as the story progresses. ;)

Also I've recently made a blog for this story. Chapters, teasers, characters, outfits and music will be added. Link is on my profile. Please check it out.

I know I said there would be weekly updates and that should mean posting every Monday but I couldn't help myself. :}

**References**:

The painting mentioned is_ The Persistence of Memory_ by Salvador Dali.


	4. O'Bella, Where Art Thou?

**A/N:** I am overblown and extremely touched by all the comments. Y'all are awesome, seriously. I usually like to PM everyone that comments but also wanted to assure everyone again that things will definitely be getting better for her. She will have struggles but her environment will be safe and the people around her caring. The Cullens, YAY! I'm posting the next 2 chapters because they're short and since y'all are so dang fantastic. ;)

Thanks tremendously for reading,

Phee

* * *

_And it feels _

_Yeah it feels like _

_The world has grown cold_

_Now that you've gone away_

_-Gone Away_ by The Offspring

(Renee)

It hurt my heart to see Bella go. But she needed a family. She deserved one. And her parents didn't seem half bad. Also, I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Beings that I was very low ranking in authority around her. Plus, I would look up on them frequently until I felt confident that everything was alright.

Speaking of which, it had been almost a month and it was time to do just that.

I called the number they gave me and got a message informing me that this number wasn't available anymore. _Hmm, that's odd_. I didn't fret over it yet. Thinking perhaps I'd dialed the wrong number by mistake. Until I called multiple times, then I started to panic. I found the address attached to the number and went to the house. It wasn't exactly run down, but it had seen it's better days.

I knocked one, two, three times. No answer. I listened. No movement. I walked to the neighbors house and asked them about the little blue house next door. They politely answered all my question. According to them, no one had lived there for years. Cement filled my stomach at hearing this.

I asked, "Are you sure?"

They nodded and said together, "Positive."

I showed them the dated picture of Bella. "Have you ever saw this girl?"

They shook their heads. "Sorry, no."

I managed to smile and walk to the next house, hoping they might've noticed something.

This neighbor said the same about the house being vacant for years, but she had seen some nomads, by the looks of them, sneaking in on occasional nights. Very late, she was a bit of an insomniac, she admitted sheepishly.

My spirits lifted marginally at this news.

I drove my car a few blocks away and waited for night to fall.

I woke up, looking at the clock. _Damn, 12._ I rushed quietly to the blue house. Keeping low. I felt like I was in a bad spy movie. I wasn't cracked up for this stuff. I crouched behind a bush and waited. Movement came shortly after. I peeked through the branch. Yep, that was them. The Swans, even though that wasn't their actual last names.

Feeling foolish, I stood and walked to them.

"Hello." I called.

They whirled around as if I had scared the wits out of them.

The woman clutched her chest and the man frowned at me. "What do you think you're doing? Sneaking up on people like that. That just don't make no sense!"

"I'm deeply sorry, sir, for frightening you. But I couldn't get a hold of you through the phone, so I came here."

"What for?" He asked, quite hostilely.

I blinked at him. "To check on Bella, of course."

"Bella? Who is Bella? And who the fuck are you?"

I was shocked to realize that he truly did not recognize me. I looked at the woman, she didn't seem to either. That cement feeling hardened.

"Bella," I said slowly. "Your daughter, Isabella Swan."

"_Oh, _her!" The man said with a hand toss, as if it were nothing.

"Yes, her."

"What about her?" That cement feeling was turning into a full out boulder.

"Where is she? How is she doing? It's time for your monthly evaluation." I watched them warily.

His frowned deepened. "Monthly evaluation?" He pointed an accusing finger at me. "Now, see here, you never said nothing about any monthly evaluation before."

I swallowed hard. "It's understood, sir."

"Well, I didn't understand shit about it!" He raged, neck reddening.

I continued tentatively, slapping myself mentally for coming here alone and unarmed. "I'm sorry for not making that known to you, but you both signed the contract okaying it, so it's a moot point now."

"Moot?" The white of his eyes flashed. "You think you're really something, huh? With your big, stupid words, dontcha? Well, let me tell you something, you're no better than the two of us! Do you know why?" He stalked towards me, and I backed up with my hands out in front of me.

"Baby!" The woman screamed. "Don't hurt her! We'll get in a mighty load of trouble for that!"

That seemed to slap the man into his senses. He stopped dead in his tracks, breathing heavily. "Answer me!"

"About what, sir?" I asked softly, hands still out.

"Do you know why you're no better than us?" He asked slowly, laboriously.

I shook my head uncertainly.

"Because you gave her to us! What idiot would do that?" He laughed bitterly. "You were tired of having her around too, huh?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me!" He puffed up. "Why'd you give her to us? Parent's who never wanted nothing to do with her to begin with."

Dread rocked through me as I saw the wild, almost insane look in his eyes. "Where is she?" I asked quietly, yet firmly.

He chortled. "She's long gone, missy."

My heart skipped a beat. "Gone? Gone where?"

He shrugged. "How the fuck should I know?" He was grinning at me, as if he had done something oh-so-clever. I hated him then. I looked at the woman, she didn't seem one bit concerned for her daughter's well-fair. Scratch that, I hated both of them then.

My anger caused me to be brave, or stupid, it depended on how you looked at it. I marched to him and screamed right in his face. "What did you do to her?"

He laughed down at me. "You'll never find her." Was all he said, all menacing like with a little bit of a slur at the end._ Dear Lord, how didn't I realize what scum these people were?_ _Maybe because I didn't want to_. I shook the thought away.

I jabbed a finger in his squishy chest. "For your sake, you better hope I do."

"Is that a threat, missy?"

"A promise." I stepped away, grabbing my phone. "Now, I'm only going to ask this one more time: Where. Is. She?"

He glared at me, but finally answered after a long silence. "We sold her."

What I had done really hit me then. _Oh God, Bella! What have I done? _"Sold her?"

"That's right."

"Sold her to who?"

He shrugged. "Some big shot gangster."

"You don't know his name?" I looked at both of them.

They both shook their heads, but I could tell the woman was lying. I walked to her.

"You know."

"N-no, I don't." She couldn't meet my eyes.

"Yes, you do. Who? Who did you sale her to?" She gulped but wouldn't answer my question. I walked away from her. "_Fine. _Then I'll just have to bring in the two of you."

Their eyes flashed at that. "You can't do that." The man said with more convection than the woman was showing.

"I certainly can." I dialed a fake number, putting the phone to my ear and waiting for someone I knew wouldn't pickup.

"Aro!" The woman broke first, like I knew she would. "He's name's Aro, OK?"

I nodded, hanging up. "Thank you. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

She shook her head rapidly.

"You'll leave us be now?" The man asked gruffly.

I nodded. Knowing good and well that I wouldn't. "You all have a good night."

"You too." She mumbled and he grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "bitch".

I walked to my car and when I was inside, I made the real call. "Hey, Sully, I have a bunch of junkies I need you to pick up..." I gave him the address and told him to lock them up and throw away the key until further notice.

As I drove home, I cried for the girl I had grown to love. The look on her face the last day flashed before my eyes. I should've known something was up. Was the man right, was I really tired of the responsibility of Bella. I shook myself. _No, no, that wasn't it. _I loved her and only wanted the best for her. Instead of listening to her needs though, I decided what was best for her.

And now she was God only knew where.


	5. We the Hurting

_People like us we've gotta stick together_

_Keep your head up nothing last forever_

_Here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten_

_It's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom_

_-People Like Us_ by Kelly Clarkson

(Isabella (Matriarch) Swan)

Years—8 if my approximation's were right—passed and Aro kept to his promise, never allowing anyone to touch me. Though, he thoroughly enjoyed flaunting me in front of everyone's noses. Granted they'd all became rather bored with it and me, but Aro didn't notice or refused to. Or maybe he was also becoming bored with me and was trying to lie to himself. I didn't now for sure. For the sheer sake of my survival I should've hope not, but I couldn't trudge up the energy to care.

The caring, attentive facade Aro constructed quickly vanished in a short amount of weeks. He found he was duty bound to keep me in the strictest of lines. I couldn't even sneeze without his approval. Okay, that was exaggerating a bit, but not by much. I was too "head-strong" and had to be kept on a tight leash. I detested that word. _Leash_, as if I were I dog, which I was, but nonetheless the word surged acidic hate through my viens. I was never beaten. Aro detested his things looking ugly. And bruises were a ghastly sight. His words, not mine. But I didn't go unpunished. Aro was just...craftier with my discipline. Some, so much worse than beating.

I still sexually serviced Aro. And put on a great show about it. But mostly I felt nothing. Completely numb. I was in a cloudy state of mind 99.99% of the time. The other 0.01% I wasn't, I was with my girls. Not my children, well at least not blood children. But they were _mine_, to the core of my bones, they were mine.

I couldn't protect them from the wretched torture Aro and the johns put them through, but I could be there for them. The one and only solid haven—something I didn't have through my young, vulnerable life and would've helped me greatly if I did—they had. It was kept absolutely quiet from Aro and his men. And if they would ever find out, I'd be skinned alive. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I didn't care. I finally had a purpose in my life, and I would die before I left my girls. Literally.

I wasn't choosy either. Every single girl that passed through here, be it days or years, was mine. We moved frequently, so us girls were our only home base. We all drew some since of courage from that knowledge.

I wasn't always this valiant. Quite selfish actually. I was too busy wallowing in my own sorrows to notice anyone else's. Then I became indifferent. A part of me, a part I'm not proud to acknowledge, thought: _if I went through it, why shouldn't they? _Yes, I was a bratty, snot-nose bitch, but that was how I thought for a good two years. Until Bree.

I remember it as if it were yesterday. I had just came out of the box—a small, dark slab of a concrete that was only openable from the outside—after a five day before mentioned punishment, when she came in battered and bruised. Her features were a jumble of bumps, scars and red, angry flesh. She was, by far, the saddest thing I'd ever seen. Mother hag, Senna, I'd learned was her name, brought her in all in a frenzy. Frequently alternating to her native tongue, which it turned out was Russian. I caught bits and pieces, basically they feared she wouldn't see the next day.

A quick thought passed through my mind that I didn't even think about stopping, _Lucky her._

That single thought slapped me to my senses like a cold splash of water to the face. _Lucky her?_ I was disgusted with myself for being so heartless. To not wish another's death, but to not care which way or another what happened to another human being. An innocent girl, a child, who had done nothing to me to merit such a callous thought.

I quickly moved into action then, asking if I could help and followed orders directed my way. We almost resembled a fully functioning ER. Everyone moved into action; finding something to do and if they couldn't find anything, they got out of the way. We had her stabilized in a matter of hours. I sat with her the rest of the night, feigning serve nausea. Aro quickly complied to me staying. His hatred of messes being beneficial to me for once. I kept watch, holding her hand and murmuring nonsense. She'd rouse occasionally, gripping my hand in panic and crying in fits. I'd soothe her best I could. That helped the first few times. The last, nothing would settle her. I finally climbed onto the cot with her. Cramming myself in as best I could, half my body hanging off. But it mollified her, so I stayed. Cradling, petting and murmuring to her until sleep took both of us.

She survived the night and healed within about three weeks. She was a young wisp of a girl. 12, the youngest I'd ever seen pass through. They kept getting younger and younger each year. It was sickening to witness. Granted, she was only 3 years younger than me when I first came in, but the difference was vast to me. Plus, I'd been made harder by my lifestyle. And she had this innocent, meek personality that reared up my protective side I didn't know, until that point, I'd had. I knew she'd have been eaten alive down here. (I keep referring to "down here" because most of the time we were kept in basements of old warehouses. Not always, but so often that we'd coined it. It's so cliche, you'd think police'd have caught these unimaginative creeps by now. But they didn't, in most cases, especially ours, so we were still here and having to deal with the fate we were dealt.) And, by God, had she ever been preyed upon by fat, upstanding citizens. Bankers, lawyers, judges, even the occasional cop. Mr. Tubs was a government official believe it or not. Needless to say, I didn't trust authorities as far as I could throw them.

Poor Bree actually had a loving family that cared a great deal about her. Her face plastered on every surface and broadcasted on every local station and some national ones. Aro had gone into a rage, nearly beating the man to death who'd abducted her. The fool brought her to Aro with his tail swishing behind him like a good boy. Aro was absolutely averse of hassle and Bree was proving to be a gigantic one for him. He tried to sale her off quickly, doing his first ever no return needed. The buyers went in a fury. She was sold before she'd even begun to heal. They dressed her up in bells and whistle and showed her like a priced heifer, bruises and all. That made them even more restless to have her. It was Aro's best sale bar none.

The hags had to literally tear her out of my arms, neither of us willing to let go. "They're coming." One of the hags watching the door announced.

"Let go, child." Sienna had ordered both of us. "You'll get us all killed. Let go _now._"

"Don't give up." I whispered in Bree's ear. "God's with you." I didn't believe in him myself, but it soothed her enough for her to loosen her grip.

I watched as the flunkies towed her away, her eyes full of abstract terror. I followed her out the hall, ignoring the hags calling for me to stop, keeping steady eye contact with her. Hoping that if anything she'd be able to remember my eyes. Remember that she could get through it. Hoping against hope that she wouldn't be completely broken. I kept following until the guards stopped me, dragging me to the box and leaving me for days.

The lucky buyer brought her back early, panicky about all the press she was getting. Bad for business to be caught with a kidnapped 12-year-old girl held captive in your home. Her parents are still to this day looking for her. I used that on the worse days to console her, murmuring that she had people on the other side and they'd find her. I doubted it the moment the words came out of my mouth, but it helped her so I kept my thoughts to myself. Some lies help, I don't care what people say.

I somehow stayed off of drugs. Mainly, because Aro forbad it. He'd never concede to having a crack whore for a mistress, whore was bad enough. His words verbatim. But if I'd wanted to, I could've got my hands on some. I didn't. I doubted it would've helped anything. Dull even more, yes. Help, no. So I was as clean as a whistle. In every since. No bugs on me. Aro had me checked after my first "encounter"—his word. I called it rape, but that was me—and everything came back negative.

We had a shocking amount of cases with girl wrought with STDs. I was so disturbed with the amount, I asked Senna one day if there was anything we could do about it. She looked at me sadly and shook her head. Caressing my head and saying, "Oh, child, you are sweet, but there is nothing we can do. The johns will have their way."

I couldn't swallow that. So help me, but I couldn't. I pondered it for days. Then the idea struck me. I ran to Senna, out of breath and exhilarated.

"What if we give them condoms and tell them to warn the johns they have an STD, even if they don't, and advice them to use it. Humbly, of course."

She really looked at me then with what I could only describe as respect. I always had a sense that she never really liked me. Understandably so. I'd never done anything to deserve her favor until that point apparently. It pleased me to see the warmth in her eyes. My plan worked for the most part. Some were too pigheaded to heed the warning. They, I'm quite happy to say, suffered the consciences.

Now, back to the my-own-children part. When I said they weren't my blood children didn't mean I was never expecting. I had been knocked up numerous times, Aro just couldn't have a bastard child. He demanded abortions. I obliged even though every hard-born cell in my body was screaming against it. It killed something inside me every time I went through the procedures. A little piece of my humanity, I strongly suspected. I came out with the word "murderer" streaming through my head in big, bold print repeatedly. Sometimes I was so stressed out, I didn't have to worry about aborting, my body doing the job for the honorable doctors. Finally after having enough, I requested getting myself fixed. Aro literally patted me on the head for being such a clever girl. That was the day I truly began to hate him. It still hurts me to think of my little thumpers dead and gone, but that was in the past and if I hoped to function, I couldn't dwell on it.

This has been my life. Not the best, but not the absolute worst either. I have been quite privileged compared to the other girls. At what cost? Did it really matter? I was alive and that was just fine with me. Judge me if you like. Call me weak. Say I must fight for my right or whatever bullshit pops up in your head. But until you've spent a day in my life, keep your judgements to yourself.

* * *

**A/N: **Edward's coming! Next week. :) I like posting on Sundays and I have to stick with a date so I'm gonna try and stick with them.

Thanks bunches,

Phee


	6. Gone with the Night

**Disclaimer:** No copyright infringement intended.

**A/N: **A reader made me aware of a few slip ups I've made when it's come to Renee. So I've made a few changes at the very beginning of chapter 4 if y'all want to go back and read it.

And because I'm such a goober, I feel like I have to explain the beginning of my own review. When I said, 'I usually don't like to do this' I didn't mean that I didn't like to rewrite stuff or admit that something I wrote doesn't make sense. I'll confess my misgivings freely and if not for CUSspacecowboy's review I'd probably never even thought about how unprofessional Renee seemed. So BIG thanks to you CUS. Back to my point, what I meant was, I didn't usually like to review my own story but did that time to tell people that might've already read those chapters that I'd made a slight change.

Also, things that may seem amiss will be explained throughout the whole story. Please keep reading. ;)

Oh and because I have 16 chapters in total written and a clear idea of where the story's going I'm posting this chapter early.

Enjoy the Edward cameo! :D

XoXo,

Phee

* * *

_We'd be so less fragile _

_If we're made from medal_

_And our hearts from iron_

_And our minds from steal_ _If we built an armor _

_For our tender bodies_

_-Three Wishes _by The Pierces

(Renee)

8 years passed.

_8 years_ of pouring through every resource and burning through every connection and I still hadn't found even a trace of Bella. I'd had quite a few moments of despair but quickly snapped myself out of it. I would search for her for the rest of my life until I found her or died, a self vow really. I'd also lost a good number of friends along the way but I didn't care. Not really anyways.

I had also quit my job. I couldn't bare to fail another child as greatly as I had Bella. I still did desk work, filing and such, but not field. Call it cowardice, but I called it a service. And you could just forget about a sex life, let alone a love life. It was a melancholy state of being. But I was determined. Not a lot of people had that. The purpose didn't keep warm at night, but I had a quilt for that.

I was currently in my wasteland of a dinning room. Sitting at what would've been a dinning room table if it hadn't been littered with files, reports and Lean Pocket wrappers, reading through Bella's microscopic personal data file for the umpteenth time. The file held the basic information of her life; copies of her birth certificate, school progress reports, psychological reports and four poorly photographs of her. The pictures would've all seemed ordinary and of no great coincidence to anyone else, but not to me.

The photos were what I was staring at. Trying to conjure her up by sheer force of will. This was my sole purpose in life. Yes, very sad, I know.

The sad excuse for human beings Bella had for parents were probably enjoying their nice air-conditioned cells and warm prepared meals right now. Granted, they would be spending a good chunk of their life there and maybe even clean up their acts, but the voice in the back of my head—a voice that had grown louder and louder over the years—didn't think justice had been met. They deserved to be swallowed by darkness, never allowed to breathe, see, feel or touch again. Just drown in nothingness. Me along with them.

I missed the women I used to be. So free and full of life, seeing every silver lining in dark clouds. There was a lot of gray lining in my vision and free and full were words I would not use to describe myself now. Hollow and raw, yes. Free and full, not so much. I could've worked on getting back to that women if I wanted to, but I didn't. I clung to the wretchedness as a sort of self-inflicted prison. My very own purgatory, but I'd never get out of this purgatory if I had anything to do with it. Not until I found Bella.

The phone ringing snapped me out of my self loathing. I jumped, falling out of my chair with a start and scrambling for my phone through the mounds of debris. I finally found it after the seventh ring.

"Hello? _Hello,_ this is Renee. Is anyone there?" I looked down at the screen, fearing whoever it was had hung up. _Call Ended_ didn't occupy the phone, so I brought the earpiece back to my ear. "Hello." I said again.

"Renee?"

"Yes?"

"This is Cara. Do you remember me?"

"_Oh, _yes, yes, Cara. Cara from Intelligence. How can I help you?"

"Well, I'm happy to say, its how I can help _you_?"

I straightened at that, pulling myself back on the chair. "I'm all ears."

"I found someone—two someone's—who can help you."

"Really? That's...that's..."

"Amazing?" She offered.

"Yes, that. Amazing. And surprising. And a little surreal."

The other line was quiet before she said gently. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

I blinked. "Oh well, yes, yea, I guess it has." Could it be? Could this be the break I'd been waiting for? Or was it another dead end? I would check into it because I couldn't afford not to, but I wouldn't get my hopes up to have them crushed again.

"Renee? Renee..._Renee_!"

"Yes?"

"Just checking to see if you're still there."

"I'm here, I'm here."

"Good. I think this is the real deal, honey. These people, husband and wife, are renowned lawyers that specialize in finding, fighting for and helping girls in similar or who are in situations like Bella's."

I nodded then realized she couldn't see it. "That sound's like the real deal to me and I trust your judgement."

"Thank you. Do you want their numbers to contact them?"

"Yes, of course." I shook myself and found a paper and pen. "I'm ready." I wrote down the contacts of the lawyers, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. "Thank you _so_ much, Cara! You're an angel, really."

She chuckled. "I wouldn't say angel—though the praise is highly appreciated—I'm just trying to help the best I can."

"You've been a serious help and are definitely an angel." I said with feeling, circling the Cullen's names over and over again.

"I'll pray for you to find Bella then."

"That would be a big help, you're really too nice." I laughed lightly, the first real laugh I'd heard from my mouth in years. "Oh, and be waiting for a fancy fruit basket."

"It's not necessary, again appreciated, but not necessary."

"It is too necessary. Thank you again."

"You're welcome. Now do you part and find Bella."

"I'll do my best."

"I know you will." We hung up at that.

I looked down at my phone in disbelief; near tears of joy and grief.

I called the Cullens almost immediately after hanging up with Cara. Neither answered their cells, so I called the office. I got the secretary there, telling me they were currently busy in a meeting and would call back as soon as possible.

I paced around the house waiting, jumpy from the spurt of adrenaline. I brushed my bed hair and grimy teeth; ashamed of myself for waiting till well past noon to do this. After dressing, I went down to the dinning room and tidied up the table. I looked at the adjoining kitchen and thought about eating something but my jittery stomach protested against it. I went back to gathering and putting every paper and file with Bella's name on it in relative order. At least in more order then it was before, which was a nice, neat stack instead of scattered across the table and floor. I nodded, satisfied with my work. _Satisfied? _Huh, that wasn't something I'd felt at all in years.

My phone rang and I lunged for it. "Hello." I practically yelled.

"Ms. Dwyer?" said a male, mannerly voice.

I took a breath to collect myself. "Please call me Renee. And this is?"

He chuckled. "Renee it is. I'm so sorry, how rude of me not to say so at once, I'm Carlisle Cullen. My wife, Esme, and I have been anticipating your call."

"Really?" I was shocked by this. Why? I wasn't sure. I just was. It was probably going through the years of being the only one so intent on searching for Bella, teaching me not to rely on others.

"Yes, really. We're looking forward to meeting you, Renee. Would it trouble you to come to us or would it be more convenient for us to come to you, we're up to doing whatever's needed."

I shook myself for the second time today. These people had been sent by angels. It was all too much too fast for me to process. But I wasn't going to look a prized horse in the mouth. "No, no, I wouldn't inconvenience you like that, you've proven to be more than charitable by just calling me back. I'll come to you...where do you and Mrs. Cullen live?"

He chuckled again. It was a nice, charming sound. "Washington state. Near Seattle."

"Oh," I said, not adding the _my _at the end. That was a good distance from Phoenix, but I would go to Cambodia if there was just a hint of Bella being there or help for her.

His voice was softer. "Are you sure you can come to us, it would be no trouble at all for us to come to you."

"No, no, I'm sure. I can come. No trouble at all."

"Do you need us to book you airfare?"

"That's mighty thoughtful of you, but I can mange, thank you."

"If you're sure."

"I am, thank you though."

"Okay, but I insist you stay with us, we have more than enough room."

"Oh, that's too much."

"Nonsense. We're more than happy to have you."

"Okay...If you insist?"

"I do." His said warmly.

I had a feeling I was going to like the Cullens.

* * *

Two days later, I was knocking on the door of a plush, modern house located on Bainbridge Island. Bainbridge was to the west of Seattle, the fastest way to get from one to the other was through the continuously running ferries. Away from the hustle and bustle of the big city, the island was rural, peaceful and beautiful. After the fourth solid knock I stopped, shaking my hand out. I looked down at my hand, it was trembling. I was nervous. I couldn't exactly say the reason why—there were numerous reasons—but I definitely knew I was.

I was about to walk to my car when the door opened. A blonde-blue-eyed, refined looking women stood in the doorway. She was beautiful, then she smiled and was radiant. "Renee?"

I nodded. "Yes," I swallowed. "Yes, that's me. And you must be Mrs. Cullen."

"Please call me Esme." She motioned me in, stepping away from the door. "Come in, come in."

I stepped over the threshold and looked up. "Wow," I looked around, dumbstruck. "Your home is gorgeous."

She beamed at me. "Why, thank you. You should see the kitchen, it's to die for."

She shepherd me into the kitchen where a drowsy-eyed, sandy-blonde young man in only pajama pants stood in front of the open refrigerator, scratching his head as he yawned. I looked at him then back to Esme and said nothing. If she liked her men a little...fresh, who was I to judge?

"_Edward, _I didn't know you were in! What a lovely surprise!"

_Edward? _I thought her husband's name was Carlisle. Edward looked over his shoulder and smiled a lazy smile that must of had all the girls swooning. I slapped my forehead mentally, he had to be their son. "Yeah, I came in late. Didn't want to wake you up."

Esme waved his comment off and kissed his check. "Oh, nonsense, you can always wake us up."

Esme turned to me with her hand on Edward's shoulder. "Renee, this is Edward, our son. Edward this is Renee, a friend of ours." She winked at me.

Leaning over the island, he stretched his hand out to me. "Good morning, ma'am." _Oh, god, _ma'am_? _Jesus, I felt old.

I took his hand and looked down at the lean muscles of his chest and stomach stretching over the island. "G-good morning." _Too young, wa-a-ay too young!_

He grinned at me, blue eyes twinkling with amusement as he noticed where I was looking. I straightened and took my hand back, trying for business like but looking more awkward than usual.

Noticing the exchange, Esme laughed lightly and patted my shoulder. "Don't worry, Edward seems to have that effect on many women. He doesn't mind. In fact," She shot him narrowed eyes as she smiled. "he loves it."

"Aw, now, mom, I wouldn't say love it. Enjoy it maybe..." He grinned again and drank milk from the carton.

Esme snatched up the carton and poured the milk in a glass then handed it to him. "Carlisle should be here any minute now," She flitted around the kitchen, taking out different pitchers of juice, coffee mugs, fruits and bagels. "He's out on his morning run right now." She handed me a mug of coffee, passing over the sugar and creamer.

"Of course, no problem at all. I don't mind waiting." I held up the mug. "Thank you, you're a saint."

She laughed. "Coffee lover, eh?"

I nodded, sipping from the mug. "Mmm," was all I could say as my eyes rolled in the back of my head.

"You and my husband will become fast friend. I can see this in the very near future."

I looked up at her, coming back from the coffee high. "Hmm?"

Edward chuckled, leaning against the counter and gulping his milk. He wiped away a milk mustache with the back of his hand. "Where most men bond over sports, cars or women, my father bonds over the fine qualities of coffee." He rinsed the empty glass in the sink. "Its a passion of his, really." He walked to his mother and kissed her forehead. "I'm going lay down some more. I won't be back tonight...I'm not sure when I will be. I'll try for soon, I promise."

She smiled. "I understand dear, you're dorm is a good hour away from here."

He chuckled, walking behind her and patting her shoulder. "Thanks, mom, love you."

"I love you too, dear." Esme said fondly, capturing his hand on her shoulder.

He looked at me over her head. And I must of needed to get my eyes checked, because it seemed his eyes darkened with all kinds of naughty thoughts passing through them. "It's was nice meeting you, Renee." Now, I knew I wasn't imagining the way his voice changed when he said my name.

"You t-too." I gulped down my coffee.

He turned to walk out the room, but not before I could see the flash of laughter pass through his eyes. He was a mischievous little flirt. I just betted that made the ladies that much more crazy about him.

I looked back at Esme. She was shaking her head. "Please, excuse him, he can't control himself sometimes. He doesn't mean any harm, its just a little bit of fun and games to him."

I shook my head. "No, no, its nothing. Quite entertaining actually."

"That," Esme nodded, buttering her bagel, "he is."

The door opened and closed and both our heads went up.

"Is that you, dear?" Esme called.

"Yes, love." Mr. Cullen called back. "I saw a new car in the drive, is that Ms. Dwyer?"

"Renee," I called to him, smiling.

"Of course, how could I forgot." I heard the smile in his voice. "Forgive me, Renee."

"No need, its an easy enough mistake."

A blonde god strode into the kitchen then in a lose T and running shorts,—not those super short, short kind that I'd always found rather silly looking on a man, but just the right length.—wiping away beads of sweat from his face with a handkerchief. He was sweaty everywhere and gorgeous, in a sophisticated sort of way.

"Good run?" Esme smiled at him over her mug of coffee.

He smiled back, love clear in his eyes as he walked to his wife and kissed her softly. "Yes, thank you." He looked up and sniffed the air. "Do I smell coffee?"

"Yes," I said, smiling at Esme, "and it's to die for."

Esme laughed, handing her husband a mug and stealing another kiss from him.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting." Carlisle said to me.

I shook my head, bitting into an apple Esme silently offered. "No, not at all, I arrived only moments ago, and," I looked at Esme, "you're wife and son have been entertaining me."

His eyes widen for a second then a smile spread across his face. "I didn't know Edward was in. I hope he didn't embarrass you too much."

"The contrary actually." I said, lying. "He was amusing."

"That's our Edward." He said, with a proud glint in his eyes. "Where is he now?" He asked Esme.

She nodded upstairs. "Back to bed, always was a late sleeper. He said he has things to do today and isn't sure when he will be."

"It's a shame to miss him, but I understand he's busy with finals coming up." Carlisle kissed her again. "Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I'm in need of a shower."

Esme rubbed his arm. "I don't know, I kind of like you like this. All sweaty and powerful and yummy." She looked up into his eyes, completely forgetting about me.

A look flashed in Carlisle's eyes, a look that came in a mans eyes that says he knew you wanted him and that he wanted you. Now, I was uncomfortable. I tried to keep as quiet as possible and looked away.

Carlisle cleared his throat and I looked up. Esme's eyes snapped to me and her cheeks flushed, only making her that much more endearing. "Oh, god, _please_, excuse me for being so terribly rude! I just lose my head sometimes when I'm around him." She laid a hand on his chest.

"Sometimes?" He asked, cocking a brow.

"_Fine_, very often." She said, blush darkening but keeping eye contact with me.

Carlisle chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Don't be ashamed, darling. I find it charming that I still have such an effect over you."

She shooed him out the kitchen with a pat on his heinie. She watched him walk all the way upstairs then turned to me and reached over the island to touch my hand. "I'm _so, _sosorry about that. I feel like such a floozy."

I smiled, shaking my head. "No, don't be silly. Its nothing really. Rather sweet actually. I can tell you love each other very much."

She smiled, patting my hand and going back to drinking her coffee. "We do. Going on twenty-seven years now."

"Congratulations!" I said, feeling glad for them and a little envious.

Not that I wanted Mr. Cullen or anything like that. Just someone to call my own. A family of my own maybe. But that was far out the window of possibilities for me now and there was no point in moping about it. "That's something."

"It is, isn't it?" She smiled warmly. "What about you?"

"Me?" I pointed at my chest and she nodded. "Oh, I'm not with anyone."

Her smile fell. "No one? No one at all?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Haven't been in a while."

"How long's a while?" She asked, peering at me curiously.

"9 years." I mumbled.

"Pardon?" She leaned closer.

"9 years." I repeated, voice raised a little too high.

Her eyebrows raised, eyes wide and full of compassion. "Oh, dear, why in heavens not?"

"Excuse me?" I looked at her, genuinely confused.

"You're a catch, dear." She said it stone-cold serious.

I waved that away with an embarrassed laugh. "Oh, please, you're just being nice. Its very much appreciated and you're a doll for trying to make me feel better, but—"

"I wasn't trying to make you feel better." She interrupted. "You're smart, beautiful and funny. What man wouldn't want to run to get a hold of you?"

It was my turn to blush. "Thank you." I shook my head, needing to change the subject. "How many cases have you and Mr. Cullen worked on with girls like Bella?"

She knew what I was doing because she wasn't stupid, but she let it go. "_Pew_," she leaned her head against her hand as her eyebrows creased with thought. "So many, I've lost count."

"Six hundred and thirty...one I believe. I might be a number or two off but that's about right." Carlisle smiled as he noticed we'd both jumped in surprise. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you ladies."

I waved a hand in front of my face as I blew out air. "Not at all."

Esme smiled as she smacked his chest. "You devil, you know very well you meant to scare us." She looked at me. "He's always been eerily stealthy and gets a kick out of sneaking up on people." She shook her head still smiling.

He grinned. "Okay, maybe I meant to frighten you ladies a little."

"Well in that case," I looked at Esme, "we should punish him."

Esme's eyes flashed with the same mischief I had just recently seen in Edward's. "Indeed we should. What do you suggest we do?"

"Hmm?" I tapped a finger to my chin. "Perhaps we can hide all his coffee."

Esme clapped her hands. "What a wonderful idea!"

His eyes widen as his lips curled up. "You wouldn't."

Esme nodded solemnly. "Oh, but dear, we must. In order to teach you a lesson, you see."

He leaned against the counter, right next to the coffee maker. "And what would this lesson be, if I may ask?"

"You may," Esme said then looked at me with a _go ahead_ look.

I cleared my throat and straightened, trying to think of something. "The lesson is..."

"Yes?" Carlisle pressed gently.

"I'm thinking."

He smiled, then did a short bow of his head. "By all means."

Finally, something came to me. "The lesson is to think twice before you sneak up on two unsuspecting women."

He nodded. "A lesson that should be well learned by all men, I fear."

Esme nodded. "Indeed, it should." She smiled and winked at me. "Well said, Renee."

I beamed then laughed. "Thank you."

He kissed both of the back of our hands, lingering on Esme's. "Please, I beg for your forgiveness."

Esme looked at me. "Should we let him off this easy?"

I pretended to think about it. "Hmm. I think we should, at least for the first offense."

Esme nodded. "I have to agree with you." She looked at Carlisle. "You're forgiven, but next time won't be so easy."

Carlisle laughed heartily. "God, I love you."

Esme tried to stay stoned face but couldn't manage it. Her face softened as a smile brightened her entire face. "I love you." They looked into each other eyes as if they could drown in them. And again the air changed to uncomfortable.

Esme was the first to look away, clearing her throat and cupping a hand around her throat as she mouthed "Sorry.". I shook my head at her not to be, drinking my coffee as if it were nothing.

Carlisle straightened, smoothing out his creaseless slacks. He was now in causal formal; olive green polo, kaki slacks and dark brown loafers. He poured himself a mug of coffee then sat next to Esme. After sipping from his mug, he looked up at me. "Well, then, shall we get to business?"

I nodded reluctantly. I had been enjoying myself in a way I'd thought I'd never be able to again. That I never should again. "Yes, I believe we should. The sooner we start the sooner we can find Bella."

Carlisle's eyes softened with compassion. "We'll find her." He clasped Esme's hand and intertwined their fingers together. "We swear we'll do whatever it takes to help you find her."

I looked at Esme. She smiled at me and nodded.

I swallowed back tears. "Thank you. And, trust me, I know this isn't going to be easy. The complete opposite actually."

Carlisle nodded. "That's good. That's good that you don't have any elusions about the possible outcome of our search." He sipped from his coffee, eyes intent on mine. "But you also should keep some hope. A little hope never hurt anyone."

I nodded, sipping my coffee until I realized it was empty. "True. A little hope is a good thing in situations like this."

Esme got up and refilled my mug, patting my shoulder as she smiled down at me. "You're a brave, good woman. I hope you know that."

I nodded, going back to my coffee. Not knowing that.

Esme walked back to Carlisle, lathering jam on a bagel and handing it to him. "Thank you." he said, and she said, "You're welcome." with a kiss.

Esme looked back at me. "Would you like a bagel, Renee?"

"Thank you, but no." I said with a small smile.

Nodding, she got back to business. "If we find her, that won't be the end of our work. Far from it actually."

I nodded after swallowing the last bit of my apple. "Yes, I know, she will be...fragile."

Esme smiled, but not her normal bright smile. This smile held sadness of seeing all the ugly the world had to offer. "Fragile's the nice word for it. In all honesty, we don't know for sure. She could be a number of things. Wild, skittish, volatile, fragile, zombiefied, etcetera. Basically she'll have difficulty coping with the new, outside world."

I nodded, the worry washing over me. "But they all cope eventually, right?"

They looked at each other, looked down, then looked back at me. Esme reached over and patted my hand as Carlisle said gently. "We've had a handful of cases where the girls couldn't cope, less than more, but still some nonetheless."

I swallowed, taking my hand out from under Esme with what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "What happened to them?"

They shared a glance then looked back at me. Esme answered this time. "They were brought to homes."

"Homes?"

She nodded. "Yes, homes. Homes for women and men who need assistance coping with life."

"Like a state home?"

"Close, but not quite. Its more of a retirement home of a sort. Some people even live in there own homes, but they have a supervisor who handles all their bills and gives them a weekly or monthly allowance, it all depends on what that person and the supervisor agree on."

I nodded, then shook my head. "Bella won't like that." I smiled apologetically. "She's always had a problem with authority figures, more so now probably after..." After I betrayed her, the one beacon of all authorities. I shook my head, tears springing from my eyes. "Excuse me."

Esme handed me a napkin. "Not at all, we're friends here. You let it out, honey."

I smiled waterly at her, as I blew into the napkin. "Thank you."

She winked at me. "Don't mention it."

I nodded, wiped away my tears then looked at the both of them. "Okay, so where do we begin?"

"This isn't going to be easy, we all know that." Carlisle said, placing down his coffee. "But I have some resources and friends that are more than willing to help us. Now, here's the plan."

(Bella (Refugee) Swan)

Months had passed, or maybe it was weeks. I wasn't sure. Time had a bad habit of getting away from you down here. We hadn't had any new girls. Aro was laying low after the Bree muss up. I was grateful for that, but I knew that it was just a respite.

There would always be more girls.

I was also grateful to whoever who was making Aro life difficult, because it gave me leeway to sneak back and forth to my girls relatively unnoticed. I walked into the room that held, Bree, Karen, Iliana and Suzanne.

Bree brightened, jumping off the bed and making Karen's head hit the hard springs in the process. "_Bella, _you came, like I knew you would!" She looked back at the other girls. "See, I told y'all she'd be back."

I petted her head. "Of course, I'd come back. I'll never leave you. Where I go, you go." I looked at the others. "All of you."

"Yeah, yeah," Suzanne said sarcastically, lounging on one of the other box spring mats. "You're our heroic, strong Bella. We got it."

I tried to let it pass. We all had our ways of coping and Suzanne's was by being catty. But hadn't I been there only a few short years ago, so I had no place to judge her. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't having a harder and harder time not letting my temper get away with me.

"Just making sure y'all know that." I said, looking at her straight in the eye until she looked away first.

I handed them all their new rags and some rations. Karen looked up and smiled, not a big smile, self-conscience about her jagged teeth, but it was smile nonetheless. "Thank you."

I patted her hair, "No worries." and walked to Iliana.

Iliana smiled, big and not self-conscience about a thing. Cracking her baby fine, tan skin. She took her package without a word. Iliana knew very little English, which was a big sealer for some of the men. The more vulnerable, the tastier.

These girls were the fresh baits, as the flunky so nicely put it. They still had some shine to them, instead of being worn out and debased. These were the girls I also took extra efforts to see and take care of, though, like I said, all of them were mine. I just felt that maybe, just maybe, I could save some part of them before this life ate the soul out of them.

I hugged them all with a quick kiss, except Suzanne, who crossed her arms and turned her head away from me. "I'll be back later." I said as I cracked open the door.

"Whatever." Suzanne grumbled as she turned her back to me.

"Okay," Bree said. "And, Bella..."

I looked back. "Yes?"

"Be safe."

I smiled at her. "You too. Take care of them while I'm gone."

Bree nodded, sitting up with purpose. "I will."

"I know you will." Then I walked out and down the hall.

That was when someone grabbed me, covering my mouth with a giant hand. _Uh-oh, busted_. But, for the life of me, I couldn't regret what I did. If me choosing to help my girls brought me death, so be it.

"Shh," said a voice that wasn't familiar. Which was odd, since I hadn't heard Aro talk about hiring more muscle. "We're here to help you." _We?_ _Who was we?_ "Come on. And don't make any noise." I didn't have much choice other than follow since the giant man was dragging me down the hall. Taking sharp turns and almost full out sprinting until we reached a staircase that we weren't allowed to even look at.

The giant was shouting in his speaker, which I found stupid, since he told me to keep quiet only moments ago. But I said nothing, since his hand was still blocking my mouth. "I've got her. Blow it!"

Seconds later the door blew open, causing a racket I knew even Aro—the hard sleeper he was—would hear. But the giant didn't give me time to worry over it, pushing me through the door into other hands. Then we were running again to an armed vehicle. That's when the shock washed away and the realization hit me. I was being rescued and I would've been grateful if I could've stopped thinking about my girls, which would've been like telling myself not to breathe.

I turned back and ran to the building but the giant caught me. "Whoa there, honey, where you think you're going?" He said with a little chuckle as he carried me over his shoulder to a navy blue SUV. I wanted to hit him.

"I have to go back!" I said, pounding on his shoulders. "I can't leave them, damn you! Let me go!"

"We got us a live one here, fellas." He said into the intercom, laughter followed soon after. I hated all of them.

I stopped my futile movements and laid limply. "I hate you." I whispered into his ear.

He stopped short for a second, only a minor hesitation, then kept jogging towards his buddies. He stopped making wisecrackers to his friends, so I was happy.

He finally made it to the group, handing me over with enthusiasm. And here I thought he was going to ask me to dinner and a movie. Pity.

"Everything's going to be okay," said another faceless man.

I said nothing, not even nodding, just sat motionless as a blanket was rapped around me. "Jones, you sure she's a live one? She's looking a little dead around the eyes to me."

"Trust me," said Jones, the giant, through the other man's intercom. "She got some spunk in her. Deep, deep down."

The man looked at me, not convinced. "Whatever you say." Then he shut the double doors, calling over the intercom. "OK. We're good to go."

The engine swelled and the vehicle jerked forward, bumping forward and making my teeth click together. I sat, staring at the doors. I thought about jumping clean out the damn thing. Why did they just take me? Knowing good and well that the other girls wouldn't make it through the night, unless Aro was feeling miraculously mercifully, which I knew he wouldn't. Why? _Why _not save every girl and blow up the joint right then and there? Because obviously they were idiots. Or just ordered, meaning payed, to get me. But who would pay what I imagined would be a pricey service? No one came to mind.

The man beside me had been gently shaking me for some time with me too occupied to notice. I blinked up at him, my vision watery. Huh, I was crying. I hadn't cried...well, since my first "encounter". "Here," he handed me a bottle of water. "Drink this."

I took the water and drank it, because I was thirsty. But I noticed with an odd detachment that my hands shook as they brought the bottle to my mouth.

The man laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I know this is a lot to take in right now, but everything's going to be fine. You're safe now. Just relax." I looked at his hand. Getting the hint, he removed it and cleared his throat awkwardly. "Just...um, just drink your water. We're almost there."

I looked at him then, swallowing and asking, "Where?"

His eyes widen, obviously surprised I could speak. He shook his head. "You don't have to worry about that now. Just rest. We'll be there soon enough."

I would've argued, but I knew when to let things go from years of experience. So I sat silently drinking my water as we drove further and further away from my girls. What I said to Bree echoing over and over in my head. _Where I go, you go. All of you. _

I'd failed them as everyone had failed me in the past. At that moment, I hated myself more than anyone.

* * *

_**Edward's coming next! His POV wasn't suppose to be until chapter 8 but I combined the 6&7 together since 7 was so short. **_


	7. Girl, Misunderstood

**A/N: **Before you automatically write Edward off as an ass, please remember that he doesn't know ditty-squat about whats going on.

* * *

_It's the reason for my pain_

_In a season to celebrate_

_I don't wanna be full of hate_

_For anybody, but it's too late_

_-Why I'm Here_ by Oleander

(Edward Cullen)

I was awoken by a tiny hand smacking my chest. I sputtered, grabbing the hand and pulling whoever it was to me.

A squeal pierced my ear. "Let me go, crazy, right now!" Alice screamed, giggling and wiggling in my arms. "I mean it, Edward. Let go, or else."

I chuckled, tightening my hold. "Or else what?"

"I'll hurt you!" She bellowed, still giggling.

I tucked her under my arm. "Hmm. That could be fun." I murmured as I tugged on one of the short spikes she called hair.

"Not on your life!" She was full out laughing now, giving up on fighting my hold. "You're impossible."

I chuckled again, sinking back into the couch and closing my eyes. "I've been told that."

"By numerous women, I'm sure." She said, placing a hand on my chest.

I grinned. "None other."

"Hey," said another voice. Jasper's. "If I would've known you would've try to get cozy with my girl, I wouldn't have let you crash here."

I peered at him. "You were never good at sharing. Even when we were kids."

He grinned, shaking his head as he made his way to us and pried Alice out of my considerably loser arms. "Not with the love of my love, no."

"Aw," Alice gushed, "I love you, too."

Then they were kissing passionately and I was gaging.

"Ugh, _stop_, before I lose my breakfast!" I flipped over on my stomach and buried my face in the pillow.

Alice giggled. "What breakfast? You've slept through lunch."

I turned my head and peered at the clock. "Huh, I guess I have. Well, that's the perks of being a college student."

"Is it?" Alice asked sarcastically, still in Jasper's arms.

I nodded against the pillow. "Absolutely. We're entitled to these years of lax dawdling. With a few experiments along the way." I waggled my eyebrows at her and she stuck her tongue at me. "Ask Jasper, he believed and practiced exactly that, until he met you."

She looked at him, raising thinly curved eyebrows. He nodded, shooting me a glare, then looking back at her as if she were the most precious thing on earth. "And I've never regretted the change."

She brushed away hair from his forehead affectionately. "Not even once?"

He shook his head, kissing her palm. "Never. Not once." Instantly, they were back to sucking face as if they were each other's air source.

I groaned, launching myself off the couch. "I'm up now. I'm hungry. Anyone up for Crazy Charlie's?" My question went unnoticed by them as they passed by me to fall on the couch. I shook my head and walked out the door, leaving the love birds to themselves.

I'd never be able to sleep on that couch again.

* * *

I walked into Crazy Charlie's bar and grill, Charlie Pitfield, stood behind the bar as he dried a glass with a rag.

"Hey, man." I said, slipping onto the barstool.

Charlie's eyes widen. "_Edward,_ it's been a while. Where've you been?"

"Here and there." I said, grabbing an ashtray and twisting it back and forth.

He looked hard at me, but let it slide. "The usual?"

"Sure."

It had been too long since I'd had one Charlie's famous subs. People all around the city swarmed the place just for them. Couldn't blame them. They were almost better than sex. Almost.

Honestly, I hadn't had the funds to afford one until recently. The hard look Charlie gave me earlier, was a _Are you broke_ again_? _look. I was. Well, not as bad anymore. Since I'd found a job. Or _made_ myself get a job. A nothing job really, working as a bouncer at a nightclub with Jasper. That's where him and Alice met and fell madly and hopelessly in love at first sight. They worked together mostly now, which was part-time, as Jasper finished his masters for engineering. Alice was still in the junior year of her bachelor degree in design. Alice worked at the club because she, being the social butterfly she was, liked staying in touch with her friends and making new ones. Jasper went so he could direct unwanted suiters of her's away.

I was also currently jumping from house to house, since I was kicked out of my dorm unjustifiably for throwing a party that took up a good three to four floors. Which, I should add, wasn't all my idea. I had help start it. My roommates had been quick to throw me under the bus, was all. Fortunately for me, I had quite a few friends and even more lady friends willing to accommodate me. My parents did not know this, it was better that way. Esme would have a fit. Even though I was a legal adult in college, she'd still find it fit to throw a few solid tongue lashings my way.

"Here ya go, bud." Charlie said, sliding me a mug of ice, cold beer. "You're order'll be up in a minute."

I raised the glass to him. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Just tip the new barmaid." Charlie said, nodding to a pretty, perky little slip of a girl behind the bar.

At that moment, she decided to look at me. I smiled slowly at her, and she looked away coyly. Instantly, I had caught her interest.

I moved over towards her, slipping on the stool and leaning over the bar. "Hello."

She looked up at me through her eyelashes, fluttering her pretty baby blues. "Hi." Her voice was throaty as she leaned against the counter towards me, showcasing her cleavage. I looked at what she offered, enjoying the view. Because I was a man and liked breast. Big, small, perky, not-so-perky, I didn't discriminate. I was a jack-of-all-trades when it came to boobs.

Taking a slug from my beer, I licked my lips and racked my eyes over her. A blush bloomed over her cheeks and that was a turn-on as well as predictable. "What's your name?"

"Sherry." She breathed, leaning closer.

"Sherry, hmm?" I raised an eyebrow, she nodded. "It suits you, very sexy." I used different variations of this line, depended on the girl.

She giggled, laying a hand on my forearm, like I knew she would. "Oh, stop it."

"No, really, you are. As I'm sure you know." I grinned at her and she giggled again, the blush making its way to her neck, down to her cleavage. My eyes followed the red trail.

"What's your name?" She asked, pouting her lips suggestively at me.

"Edward." I said, as I handed her the mug for a refill.

She handed me back the full glass, blinking at me. "Edward? Huh, that's...that's..."

"Not what you'd expect?" I asked, going through this as well before. _It's so...old sounding._ was also a regular I'd heard.

She nodded. "Brad, maybe."

I tried not to make a face at that and smiled at her. "Yea, I get that a lot."

She smiled brightly at me. "Could I call you, Eddie?"

I couldn't help frowning then, so I throw back the whole mug and handed it back to her. "_You _can call me whatever you want."

She giggled, looking down and filling the mug. She handed me back the glass and I purposefully brushed my fingers over hers. Her eyes fluttered up to mine, eyes wide and glazed.

"When do you get off?" I asked, locking her eyes with mine.

"Um...uh, in t-two hours." She said, dazedly.

I smiled crookedly. "Perfect."

She breathed a sigh, and stumbled away to the next customer.

Just like that, I had her. It was becoming almost too easy. Maybe I needed to move on to older women.

* * *

I woke to my phone ringing.

I peeked through my eyelids then groaned when a beam of sunlight blinded me. I rolled off the bed and scrambled through my clothes.

"Hello." I said groggily as I laid on the pile of discarded clothes.

"Edward?" asked a familiar voice.

"Hey, mom." I said lowly, my throat felling thick and dry. "What's up?"

"Where are you?"

That was a good question.

I looked around. The place wasn't familiar. I looked down at my hand that was laying down next to a skimpy pair of polkadot panties. Then I remembered. Sherry, the barmaid. We'd come back to her dorm, did the appropriate amount of flirting and talking, had a few beers to loosen up, then went at it like rabbits.

I grinned at the memory but said over the line. "Uh, a friends."

Esme was quiet over the line for a moment. Probably not believing me, but deciding to leave it be. Smart, my mother. "Well, could you take time to come over? There's someone I'd like you to meet."

_Oh god, not another set up. _"Um. Sure. But it won't be till later."

"That's fine. How about supper? I'll make your favorite."

"Yea. Great. I'll be there." I said, yawning.

"Love you, baby."

"Love you, too." I mumbled and hung up, laying my head back and closing my eyes to doze off.

"Who was that?"

My eyes flew open to Sherry peering at me over the bed with mused up hair and flushed cheeks.

I smiled at her. "Nobody."

She eyed me. "You sure?"

I climbed back on the bed and rolled her under me. "Positive." I nibbled her ear and she giggled. "Now, where were we?"

I pulled into my parents driveway. Late because I'd passed out after me and Sherry's last tussle and finally woke up when I heard Sherry puttering around to get ready for her shift. I jumped up as I saw the time with a curse and rushed to the door, dressing on the way.

"Wait!" Sherry had called, following me to the door. "Where are you going in such a rush? Do you want something to eat or anything?"

I turned to her, hand on the knob. "Sorry. But I can't. I'm late."

Her face fell. "Is it...me? Was...I bad or...?"

My face softened. "Of course not, you were wonderful." I kissed her temple. "I really have to go though. I have plans and I'm late, really. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," she said softly, running a finger under my shirt collar and stuffing a piece of paper in my jeans pocket. "Call me."

I nodded and left.

And here I was, sitting in my red Blazer, staring at my parents front door. Dreading the new "perfect, nice girl" my mother lovingly and misguidedly found for me. Why she was so fixated on finding me a match? I didn't know. I'd never had the heart to out right ask either. That would hurt Esme feelings, and I couldn't do that no matter how annoying the whole process was.

I finally carried myself to the door and went in without knocking.

My mother calling, "Edward, is that you?" greeting my entrance.

"Yea." I called back.

"We're in the dinning room."

I went to the dinning room and look around the table. I was pleased to see Renee there. A girl I'd never seen before, sat across from Renee. She was pretty with long chocolate hair and green eyes, but they we're all pretty. My mother could never peg my type. I couldn't fault her for this though, since _I_ wasn't sure what my type was.

I kissed my mother's forehead and sat at my usual place that I was happy to see was right next to Renee. "Hello, Renee." I said, my voice an octave lower as I peered at her through my eyelids.

She chocked on her wine. "H-hello, Edward. Very nice seeing you again."

"No, the pleasure's all mine." I said, smiling devilishly.

I looked at the place where my father should've been. "Where's dad?" I asked, looking at Esme.

Esme patted her mouth with a napkin. "He was here, but he was called in with an emergency. He said to apologize for him missing you again."

I grinned, scooping up a hefty pile of loaded mashed potatoes. "We do seem to be missing each other a lot lately. But it's fine, is something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No, no, nothing, really. Just a computer crashing."

I looked at her over the blacked fish I was bringing to my plate. "Isn't there a tech for that?"

She nodded. "Ben. But he's on leave. Mindy, his wife, is having the baby."

I raised my eyebrows, but went back to my fish. "Well, that's good news."

"It is. Edward, this is Isabella Swan, Bella." She said, touching Bella's unmoving hand.

I looked up and the girl was looking at me. Not curiously. Not provocatively. Just looking. Straight at me. I swallowed, creeped out. "Hello, Bella."

"Hello, Edward." She said coolly, expressionless. I'd thought it was impossible for someone to have a blank face, but this girl was pulling it off with flying colors. Esme had picked a doozy this time.

I dug into my fish for a moment, looking up because I could feel her eyes burning into my forehead. I wanted to shout, _What?_ But held back the urge and smiled at her. She didn't return the smile. "So...where're you from?"

"Phoenix."

I looked down at her plate and notice it was untouched. I cocked an eyebrow at Esme and she shrugged, giving me a _later _look. I was confused. Something weird and tense was going on. Definite tension was happening in the room.

"What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

She looked at my mother with an unfriendly look. "Transportation."

I looked at my mother with a _Really?! _look. What the hell was going on? I looked at Renee. She was playing with her peas uncomfortably. "Um...okay." I gave up trying to pull conversation out of the girl and focused on Renee.

"Have you enjoyed everything Seattle has to offer, Renee?"

Renee's head snapped up, startled. "Who? Me?"

I chuckled. "Yes. You."

"Oh, well," she placed down her fork. "I've been busy. But, yes, I've enjoyed my stay here."

"That's good," I leaned closer to her, "but you should go out. See the sites."

She gulped down more wine. "I've seen quite a bit...in passing."

I shook my head solemnly. "That's not enough. You need to explore everything. I'll take you."

She chocked again, nearly spitting out all the wine she'd just guzzled down. "Oh, th-that's not necessary. I can find my way around. I'm sure you're busy with testing and everything."

I patted her back lightly. "Not at all. Easy stuff. Really, I wouldn't mind taking you. Insist actually." I emphasized the word _taking_. Renee noticed and went into another fit of coughing.

Esme spoke up then, swooping in to save Renee from her obvious mortification. It was endearing how awkward and shy Renee was for an...experienced women. I wondered if she was like that in bed or a secret firecracker. I wouldn't mind finding out. I looked at her matured, but beautiful face, then down her shapely body. I wouldn't mind finding out at all.

"That sound's like a wonderful idea, honey." I looked at Esme with a cocked brow. She went on, not noticing or ignoring my look. "You should bring Bella, too."

I looked at Bella, she looked like a deer in headlights. Not moving a muscle, trying not to direct attention to herself.

Realizing that was a futile attempt, she cleared her throat. "No. No, thank you." She looked at Esme. "It's a nice offer, but I'm fine."

I shrugged, secretly relieved. "If you're sure."

She nodded. "I am."

I was ready to leave it at that, but Renee wasn't.

"You should." She said hastily. "It would be...nice." Had I shooken her that bad? And I hadn't even been laying the charm on thick.

I looked at Renee. Her hopeful, sad eyes were glued to Bella's face. I had the feeling this had nothing to do with me anymore. I watched curiously, looking from Bella to Renee. The girl stared back coldly. Not saying a word or giving even a motion of response. I decided then she had to be heartless to stomp on this woman's feelings—who was clearly putting herself out—for whatever reason.

I cleared my throat then looked pointedly at Bella. She looked at me, the same emotionless face. "Well?" I asked, a little impatiently. I was normally more laid back about everything. Slow to anger and quick to good times. But this girl brought out my temper with alarming speed.

She looked at me longer, then back to Renee, then back to me. "Fine." she grounded out bitterly. "I'll go."

"Fine." I said just as bitterly.

Renee's face brightened with hope and my apprehension grew. Whatever was happening, I had a feeling hearts would be breaking. Renee's, in particular.

* * *

"What's with her?" I whispered to my mom as I helped her clean the dishes.

"Who?" She asked, then looked out the door to the living room where Renee and Bella sat in silence. "Oh, Bella?"

"Yea, _Bella_. What was all that about at the table?" I asked, scrubbing at the dish roughly.

Esme pried it out of my hands. "That's delicate, dear." She warned with a smile. "And it's complicated."

"How?" I asked, brow creasing as I turned fully to her.

She placed the last dish on the draining-board. "They have...history."

"History?" I repeated, really confused now. "What, is Renee her mother or something?"

She smiled sadly. "In a way yes, not biologically, of course."

I shook my head, raking my fingers through my hair. "Then how exactly do they know each other?"

"It's a long story." She said, patting my shoulder, then going to the fridge and taking out a fresh bottle of wine.

"I have time."

She sighed and placed down the bottle. "It's really not my story to tell, but," her eyes flickered to the the living room, then back to me, "there's a very messy, sad load of baggage between the two of them."

"Great. And I'm suppose to be their tour-guide." I grumbled.

Esme walked around me and patted my check. "You'll be fine. You were always such a people person."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I mumbled.

Esme kissed my cheek, then wiped away her lipstick with a thump. "You really are a dear." Then she walked to the room.

I watched Renee graciously take a glass of wine and Bella refuse with a shake of her head. What the hell had I gotten myself into?

Nothing good, that was for sure.

(Isabella (Tourist) Swan)

Edward found it necessary to drag me and Renee through every tourist attraction most of the day. Renee seemed to enjoy it well enough, but there was a quiet disposition about her. Deep in thought. Sad thoughts. Good, I hoped she was miserable. But she'd never be as miserable as me.

As I looked up the Space Needle, I wondered for the umpteenth time about my girls. Where were they? Were they okay? What had Aro done to them? Why hadn't_ they_ helped them too? I hadn't worked up the nerve to ask any of them this. Partly because I was still furious at all of them for taking me away in the first place. But mostly cause I didn't trust a single one of them. Especially Renee.

I was left alone to ponder all this, like I was most of the day. Edward was more than happy to give me my space. Monopolizing Renee's time. Outrageously flirting with and freely making her blush. All in all it was a game to him and she played along without ambiguity. How strange it was to see this interaction. Frivolous undertakings on an ordinary day. Something I knew I'd never participate in. I didn't care to. Not with the promises I'd broken weighing on my shoulders.

"Impressive, huh?" Edward's voice to my side startled me.

My head snapped to him. "What?" I looked at him oddly. He nodded towards the building I was recently looking at but not seeing. "Oh, yea, it's something." I mumbled.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, more curious than concerned.

"Things you wouldn't care to hear about."

"Try me."

I looked at him, again seeing someone that believed life and everything in it were merely his play things. This characteristic had me annoyed and envious at the same time. "Mostly I'm thinking about regrets."

"Regrets?" He asked, I nodded. "What sort of regrets?"

I took a moment to respond. "You do realize what I am, don't you?"

He cocked a brow, eyes slightly confused.

"Let me rephrase that. Do you know what type of people your parents help?"

He reflected on this question for a moment, mouth twisting in thought. "Troubled people."

"Correct. But more precisely, what kind of _troubled people_?"

He scratched his head, mussing his hair up more. "Um. Abused and traumatized people." He ended the answer in more of a question. Sheltered for 200, Alex.

I nodded. "Your getting closer. Do you know where exactly these _abused and traumatized people_ come from?"

He shrugged, lost. "I guess tough backgrounds."

"Again, right. Vague, but right."

He sighed roughly, dropping his hands to his sides. "What answer are you looking for exactly?"

"I'm not looking for an answer. I'm trying to help you find the answer _you're_ looking for."

He frowned, obviously finding my sanity to be in question. "And what would that be?"

I looked at him blankly, almost forgetting what we were talking about in the first place as I began to worry about my girls again. I took so long to answer I was surprised to find him still by my side. I answered his complementary question. A question he probably didn't really want answered, but asked to be courteous or for Renee's sake. I was betting on the latter. Either way I was answering it in a detached manner like a narrater telling someone else's story.

"My life's never been...normal. Not since birth. I won't bore you with the details. But the jest is, since a young age I've never stood a chance. My life was set and at the time I didn't see a way out. You may see that as a cop-out but that was how I felt. Hopeless. Resigned. Cheated. Angry." I shook my head out then got myself back on track. "Anyway, the point is I was a slave."

Edward blinked rapidly, probably coming out of a daydream. "A slave?" He repeated.

I nodded and answered in a matter-of-fact way. "A sex slave, to be precise."

"You mean..."

"Yes, sold to the highest bidder and forced to preform against my will."

"But...but how?"

I glanced at Renee who was viewing trinkets at a booth, obviously trying to seem like she wasn't watching us. "My parents came to the center I was staying at and staked their calm on me."

"And?" He asked, not seeing the point.

"_And _then they sold me to a man for money to get drugs. He dealt in many things, but mostly the sex trade."

Edward stood in stunned silence as he ingested all this. "So you've been a slave for how long?"

"I've technically only been a sex slave for a month. But I've lived in that world for eight years."

"As what?"

I looked away then. "As Aro's, the man I was sold to, mate. Well more of a pet actually."

Edward was so quiet for so long I thought he'd finally walked away. Unable to be around me and hear anymore. I had undoubtedly put a damper on his pleasant day.

Him clearing his throat yet again startled me. "Did he..."

"Hurt me?"

He coughed several times. "Yes, yea, that's what I meant."

"On occasion. Not full out bloodying me. But he would lock me in a room without food for a few days. Or make me walk around without clothing for a week. Of course, I had been disobedient and Aro couldn't stand for that. Plus, I was always a good example for the other property."

He wasn't even trying to hide his disgust now. "And he got away with this?" He asked indignantly.

I almost laughed. Silly boy. It was sweet of him to feel the need to be cross about the cruelty of the past wrongs inflicted on me, but that's exactly what it was. The past. And there wasn't much that could be done about them now. I did allow myself to chuckle as I reflected back further. "The flunkies believed I deserved worse."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Maybe they believed I was a distraction to their leader, maybe they believed I wasn't good enough for him. Being the dirty little slut I was. Most likely both." His appalled gasp had me realizing that maybe I had been a little to free with my words. "Excuse me for being so forward. But it's the truth. That's all we were to them and if we forgot that, we died."

He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking yearningly at any direction away from me. "You can go. You won't hurt my feelings."

His eyes snapped to mine. _Caught_ was the word that flashed through them. Now he felt obliged to stay with me, to keep trudging through my demoralizing story.

I saved him the trouble and walked away from him.

(Edward)

I was too dumbstruck to call out to Isabella to wait. I had made her tell me and basically live through every painful thing again. Then I had acted like a jackass and treated her like shit. I did regret starting that conversation in the first place, true. But that wasn't Isabella's fault and I shouldn't have treated her that way.

As I watched Isabella walk further away from me, my mother's words from this morning flashed through my head. _Don't let her out of your sight, _as if the girl might run away or something. At first I had thought my mother was being dramatic, but now I wasn't so sure.

I whistled to get Renee's attention and her head instantly snapped my way. She looked around frantically, obviously noticing Isabella's absence. She ran to me and I was almost too distracted to notice her bouncing tits.

"Where's Bella?" She asked anxiously, as she skidded to a halt in front of me.

I shook my head, banishing jiggly body parts from my mind. "She went that way." I pointed in the general direction of where I last saw her. She was gone now, lost in the crowd.

Pulling my arm with surprising force, Renee tugged me along the walk away. "Come on, we have to find her."

I followed along, as Renee unceremoniously pushed people out of the way, and reflected that my life had change drastically since yesterday. Since meeting Isabella. It was...different. Not a bad different. But different nonetheless. I always had an idea of what my parents did for a living, even seen a few of the people they helped. Mostly girls, now that I thought about it. But I never imagined they helped poor souls like the girl—woman, beings that she was only one year younger than me—we were chasing after now. I had a new found respect for my parents. I for one wouldn't know where to even start helping someone like Isabella cope with their old life and form a new one. Could you even help someone like that? Apparently so, cause my parents had been doing exactly that for years now.

Now that I knew a little more about her past, I didn't feel so judgement towards Isabella's behavior yesterday at supper. Still very much confused exactly why she was so cold towards Renee, but I knew there had to be a story there. Even though it was none of my business, that didn't stop me from wanting to know what had the two estranged.

"There she is!" Renee exclaimed and bolted in the direction she was pointing.

I followed, because I didn't have any other choice, since Renee still had a death grip on my arm.

"Bella! _Bella!_ Wait. Please. Wait!" Renee hollered, oblivious to confused or dirty looks shooting her way.

Isabella kept walking, not even pausing to indicate she'd heard Renee. The city was noisy, but with the way Renee was screaming you'd be able to hear her over a KISS concert. Finally releasing me, Renee ran to Isabella faster than I had expected she could.

I paused once I saw Renee catch hold of Isabella's elbow. Partly cause I needed to catch my breath, but mostly cause I wanted to watch what would happen. If I needed to, I'd step in. Otherwise, I'd stay where I was. Instinctively, I knew these two women needed to hash this out. Now seemed as good a time as any.

Isabella tore her arm away and spat, "Don't touch me!"

Renee flinched and took a step back, a lost, hurt look on her face. It took everything I had not to butt in, but I planted my feet on the ground and waited.

"Bella..." Renee made a move to touch Isabella again.

Isabella stepped back. "What do you want from me?" She asked wretchedly, the promise of tears in her eyes.

Renee's longing eyes skittered around Isabella face. "You safe. I've always wanted nothing but your safety."

Isabella scoffed scornfully. "A little late for that, don't you think?"

Renee gave a little hiccuping cry and now my body was visibly shaking from forcing myself to stand still. But I was surprised to realize it wasn't just for Renee's sake, but Isabella's too. This was killing both of them. But it was a necessary evil, if we had any hope of salvaging the rest of the day.

"Bella...I'm sorry. I tired to help you as soon as I found out what happen to you."

"And when was that exactly?" Isabella asked, folding her arms across her chest defensively.

"A month. I tried to get in touch with your parents—the Swans—errr..."

Isabella sighed in exasperation. "Parents is fine."

Renee nodded hastily. "Right. Well, when I tired to get in touch with your parents for their monthly evolution, I realized they'd given me a false number. I finally had to track them down to the mailing address they'd left and confront them."

Isabella tilted her head in thought. "I bet you felt like a hero then, huh?"

Renee shook her head, hurt puckering her eyes. "No. The exact opposite actually. I felt like I had failed you."

Isabella nodded in understanding. "Good. Because you had."

That had me stepping forward. "Now, that's not fair."

Both women turned to me and snapped together, "_Stay out of this_!" sounding and looking oddly alike. I threw my hands up in surrender and stepped back in my rightful place, more than happy to stay out of it now that I'd gotten the okay. Well, more like the demand.

Renee turned back to Isabella. "I know I did. I'm not denying it. I've spent eight years of my life dedicated to finding you."

"Do you won't a cookie?" Bella's snarky comments were, poor Renee, hitting home. But I could see them for what they were. A defense. After all, who could Isabella trust? Renee, obviously. But, also obviously, Renee was the last person Isabella wanted help from.

"No. I want to help you." Renee stared yearningly at Isabella, her arm rising slightly in an almost unconscious manner.

Isabella looked away, looking fixedly at the ground as she whispered almost inaudibly. "Why didn't you help me at the center? When it was obvious I didn't want to go with them."

Renee went to answer, then paused. Finally, she answered with a helpless look. "There wasn't much I could do, besides kidnapping you, Bella. They were _your parents_."

Isabella looked up at that, "You should've kidnapped me." and walked away.

Renee was too shocked to move or respond.

I went after Isabella.

"Don't worry." Isabella said over her shoulder, still walking. "I'm going to your parents office. And don't worry, I know the address and can read a map."

That stopped me dead in my tracks. Thinking, _Should I believe her?_

"Trust me." She said again. Louder than before, cause she'd made a good distance between us. "I don't have anywhere else to go. And, besides, your parents have resources I need." She finished ominously and disappeared into the crowd again without another word.

_Resources?_ What resources did Isabella need from my parents? A job? Housing arrangements? Maybe. But, no, it sounded like she meant resources for something or someone other than herself. I decided to dwell on it later. I was beginning to realize I was destined to be out of the loop in the any event concerning Isabella Swan.

I tentatively walked to Renee and placed a hand on her shoulder.

I might as well have slapped her from the way she jumped. Her frantic eyes skittering to mine. "Let's get something to eat, hmm?" I suggested gently.

She nodded, not really hearing. I guided her to Crazy Charlie's, which was only two blocks away.

Once we were inside, I lead her to a bar stool. She was completely oblivious to my ministrations as she stared blankly in front of her. Charlie came up to us, curiously watching Renee.

"New friend, Cullen?"

"Charlie." I said, relieved to see the ol' fella. "This is Renee. Renee, this is Charlie, the owner of this fine establishment."

"Nice to meet ya." Charlie said, holding his hand out to her.

She didn't take it or look at him for that matter. "Okay..." Charlie said and looked to me with a _What the hell?_ look.

I shrugged and order two beers.

"Coming up." Charlie said, chipper as ever as he turned away to get the drinks.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I called my dad's cell. He answered at the fourth ring. "She's safe." He answered immediately. "I have to go though, have another client coming in. Goodbye, son."

I went to say bye but the line was already dead. I shrugged, sticking the phone back in my pocket.

I looked at Renee and put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. You both just need to cool down for a little while. I'm sure she's getting over it already."

"You don't know Bella." Renee said despondently.

Someone saying, "_Edward?_" stopped me from responding.

I turned and saw Sherry, looking at her in confusion for a second because I'd stupidly forgotten she worked there. "_Oh_, Sherry. Hey."

"Hi." Sherry said quietly, with I tone I hadn't heard from her in the short time I'd known her. Something close to fury.

"I didn't realize it was your shift." I said dumbly cause I didn't know what else to say to her.

She glanced at me then back to Renee, her pretty eyes hardening. "Yea, you would've known if you'd bothered to pick up a phone."

I scratched my head as I looked down. "Right. Sorry about that, I...um, something came up."

Hurt flashed through her eyes before quickly hardening again. "Hmmm. Now I think the words, it's not you it's me, are suppose to come next."

Eyes widening, I shook my head. "_NO, _no, not at all! I know it sounds that way, but something...family related did come up. I'm sorry I didn't call, but it has nothing to do with you."

She winced at that, then her tiny nostrils flared.

"Oh God! I didn't mean for it to come out like that." She crossed her arms, waiting. "Er. I meant...Well, when I said it had nothing to do with you, I meant I wasn't trying to avoid you or anything. Just got distracted." I finished off lamely.

"Um-hmm." She nodded, not understanding at all. "Right."

She looked at Renee again, eyes lowering from her blank face to her shoulder where my hand still was. I took my hand away immediately as if it had caught fire.

Sherry tilted her head. "Who is this anyways? Your mother?"

Renee winced at that, finally showing emotion. That pissed me off. Isabella making her cry and turning Renee basically into a stone momentarily afterwards hadn't ticked me off as much. But Isabella had had reason besides just being a catty bitch and trying to hurt Renee for unjustified jealously. It seemed childish and I was beginning not to feel quite as guilty anymore.

"No." I said, frost flecking the word. "She's a friend." I lingered on the word _friend_ like a caress.

That had Sherry at a loss for a second, finally realizing that she'd somehow lost the upper-hand. Maybe realizing that she overstepped a little. "Friend?" She asked as if she knew all my friends and never met this one before.

"Yes. My friend. I'd introduce you but I think you've made a good enough impression of yourself, don't you?"

She mumbled incoherently as she blushed an unnatural red. Charlie coming up with a hard look my way saved Sherry from any more scathing comments from me. "Corner booths waiting for you, Sher."

She nodded woodenly and walked away, avoiding my eyes the whole time.

Once she was out of ear shout, Charlie slammed the beers down and frowned at me. "What was that about?"

_Now_ I was starting to feel guilty again. "She went over the line and insulted Renee."

Though he was still frowning—even though most would claim that frowning was his permanent facial expression—his eyes softened a little. "I don't know this pretty lady, but I'm sure she didn't deserve that."

Renee looked up at Charlie shocked. Charlie winked at her, smiling crookedly. Renee quickly slugged back her beer, neck reddening. I looked from one to the other, they were obviously flirting and instead of being upset I saw the potential between the two of them. Charlie's easy going personality would mesh nicely with Renee's quiet corkiness.

After gazing at Renee for an intense moment, Charlie looked to me; eyes hardening a smidgen. "Either way, be easy on the girl. She doesn't mean any harm, she's been through the grater lately."

"I understand, but other people have been through the grater lately too. Hell, people go through the grater everyday. That doesn't give her the right to treat people like shit."

Charlie chuckled reflectively. "Tell me son, how long have you been on this earth?"

"24 years." I answered, not understanding where he was going with this question. Which was normal when dealing Charlie. "Why?"

"And you still believe in a perfect world where people don't take out their shitty day's on other people?"

"No." I answered grumpily. "I'm just saying you treat people like shit you get treated like shit in return."

"Give her a break. What do you expect from a women scorned?"

"Scorned?" I arched a brow. "Come on, man, give me the non-fortune-cookie version."

"Fine. How's this. You sleep with a women then leave her high and dry, don't expect her to be happy to see you."

"I don't expect her to be happy to see me. I don't expect anything from her, beside acting civilized."

Charlie chuckled again and slapped my shoulder goodheartedly. "Oh, my boy, you have much to learn."

I frowned, "Whatever." and slugged back a beer.

"You do." Renee's meek comment had my head snapping down at her. "What? You do." She shrugged. "What she said hurt, true. But knowing more about your history together, I'm a little more inclined to forgive her."

I stared down at Renee, seeing a totally different woman from the one I'd been seeing only moments ago. And happy to see the small change. "Really?" I asked, dumbfounded.

She nodded, sure. "Yes. Emotions are a strong force, it's hard to fight against them. Especially if you feel that you've been slighted."

I shook my head, amazed. "You're astonishing."

Renee blinked up at me. "Thank you." She said, uncertain.

"He's right." Charlie said less in amazement and more complementary, smoldering at her again which had Renee's eyes fluttering now more than blinking.

Renee mumbled something then finished off her beer, making a slight face and sliding the empty mug toward Charlie. "Another?"

Blocking a small burp and oddly looking as precious as a child, Renee nodded. "Yes, please."

Forgetting to order lunch, Renee and I had an afternoon cap. Slamming back beers until well into dusk. Needless to say we were plastered.

"You know what I hate?" Renee asked, leaning heavily on me.

"What?" I asked, laying my head on top of hers.

"Toenails." She answered, with a hiccup.

"Toenails?" I asked, finding this hilarious for whatever reason.

"Yep. You never know what's underneath them. Eck!"

I patted her shoulder, completely oblivious to Sherry throwing daggers at my head with her eyes. "I believe skin's under them."

"Yea, with _other_ things too."

Slugging down more alcohol, at some point I'd stupidly switched to whisky but was too shit-faced to really notice or care, I asked. "Like?"

She moved from my shoulder to look up at me seriously, but with the boozes slushing in her head she came out looking more confused. "Like them little monster men you see on that commercial."

"Do you mean Lamisil?" Well the word came out more like, _Lalamassoool. _"The toenail fungus."

"_UGH_! Yes! I hate that commercial. I have to leave the room when it comes on."

"You don't just change the channel?" I asked, truly bewildered by this.

She shook her head then seemed to regret it as she held her hands to her temples and winced. "No. All I can think about is getting away."

I laughed at this as I tapped her nose, my finger seeming to get stuck there cause it was more of sliding down slowly than anything else. "That's so cute."

She smacked my hand away. "No it's not. It's terrible."

I patted her head, affectionally. Hitting harder than I intended apparently cause Renee winced again. Or maybe she was hyper sensitive to head trauma since she was liquored up. Either way I pulled my hand away quickly. "There, there. I'll protect you from the scary fungi monsters."

She frowned at me, fuming cutely. "Now you're making fun of me. I never should've told you." Sticking out her bottom lip, she pouted like a petulant child. Strangely adorable and alluring all at once.

Instantly becoming aware of her empty Amaretto Sour, Renee leaned over the bar to see Charlie better. "Hey, sexy! Fill me up, please, sir." She giggled uncontrollably at that.

I joined in, even though I didn't know exactly what she was laughing at. "Make it two, big guy."

Making his way to us, Charlie shook his head, disapproving and amused all at once. "I think you two have had enough."

"_Bologna_," Renee exclaimed, tossing a dismissing hand and almost slipping off the stool.

I barely caught her with great effort and after placing her back in the stool I realized that Charlie had done most of the work. Me hardly having a grip on her. I frowned down at my hands that felt ten pounds heavier than they looked.

I looked at Renee. "You know. I think we have."

She looked questioningly up at me. "Really? I think we're fine." She went to stand up then plopped back down with a sway. "Maybe not."

"Whoa, now." After affirming Renee wasn't in dire danger of falling again, Charlie let go and looked at me. "How do you plan on getting home?"

I shrugged.

"Should I call you a cab?"

"Cab? _Pwef, _more like scam wagon. No thanks."

Charlie couldn't seem to help but laugh at that.

He looked at the clock then back to me and Renee, who was now face deep in the wood grain of the bar, snoring away. "The bar's closing in half a hour anyway, I'll bring you home."

"_Half an hour_?" I squinted at the clock, all the numbers, lines and ticking hands blurring together. I figured by what Charlie had said with what little brain cells I had left that it was half past one a.m. "Then that mean's we've been here..." I trailed off counting my fingers.

"Eight hours." Charlie answered for me before I could finish counting.

"Yes, thank you." I sat in silence in awe of how time got away from me so swiftly.

Charlie left us to help his other patron's still lingering at the otherwise vacant bar. Knowing that he had no chance in hell of competing with all the other dive clubs, Charlie catered to a more laid back crowd and made most of his dough on the lunch and dinner hours. No breakfast, since the bar didn't open till eleven a.m. Charlie was a firm believer in sleep and rarely ever saw the wee hours of dawn. I saw Charlie murmur something to Sherry, she nodded and shoot me another dirty look. They had long lost there affect on me and I waved at her. Scoffing she turned on her heels and walked away, hips a-swaying.

Becoming quickly bored, I dropped off the stool and stumbled my way to the juke box. It was a newer model with debit card capabilities, a digital screen that showcased the music options and even downloading options. Charlie had downloaded all of his favorites which consisted mostly of Johnny Cash and ZZ Top. Scrolling through the contents, my search was short since I knew exactly what I wanted. I selected my pick and stumbled back to the stool, watching my footing the whole way. I plopped down on the stool and started peeling peanuts, throwing the shells and the nut's meat back in the bowl.

Sherry passed by me and I hollered, "Hey, babe, come see." I tried to flash her my signature sexy grin, but I think it came out more like a sneer.

Rolling her eyes, she sauntered to me. "Yes." She purred, with a dangerous undertone.

"Why don't you slip behind the old man and sneak me another drink?" I winked at her.

She leaned in closer, both hands against the edge of the bar, showing me her ample cleavage again. "What's in it for me?"

I licked my lips. "I think we can work something out."

"Hmmm." She leaned closer and I slouched over the bar till our face were inches away. "Sounds temping. Let me see what I can do." She winked and pushed away from the bar, making me slip almost all the way over.

She went further down the bar, her back to me so I couldn't see what she was fixing. That was cool, I liked surprises. After a George Jones song ended, I heard the beginning rifts of acoustic guitar of my pick, _Ain't No Grave_ by Johnny Cash. Instantly I relaxed. Listening to any Cash song had my inner rebel wanting to come out. Charlie looked over at me, I raised my empty glass to him and he inclined his head. This song for some reason became our anthem. I'm far from anything close to Johnny, but the man had a way of speaking to you. Man, woman or child. And he sure as shit spoke to Charlie.

The man worshiped The Man in Black and if anyone had a bad word to say about him was kicked out on their ass. There was a sign right over the bar, along with other Johnny Cash memorabilia, in fact. A huge, old wooden sign. Made by a childhood friend who was equally as big a buff if not more than Charlie. With the words, _The beast in me is caged by frail and fragile bars. -Johnny Cash _carved into it. Under it was a smaller metal sign (also made by a bar regular) that said, AND IF YOU TRASH THE CASH YOU'LL FIND THAT BEAST UNLEASHED.

Sherry placing down a drink had me snapping back to attention I vaguely heard _God's Gonna Cut You Down_ by Johnny Cash. My second choice. It was a small glass filled with clear liquid. Vodka wasn't my first choice, but at that point I wasn't picky. Shrugging, I slugged the drink back and spit it all out.

Sputtering, I shot her narrowed eyes. "_What the hell?!_ That's not Vodka!"

Sherry smiled sinisterly, enjoying herself way too much. "Charlie informed me that the two of you are on a strict 'water only' diet." And she walked away with that.

Wiping at my mouth viciously, I scowled at Charlie and he chuckled shaking his head slowly as he finished cleaning off the other side of the bar. That surprise had sufficiently dampened my buzz. Stupid, well-meaning interfering asshole. Renee moaning stopped me from full out pouting.

Rubbing her back, I leaned towards her ear and whispered. "Hey. It's okay. The bar's closing soon, then Charlie's bringing us home."

Peeking at me with one eye, the other still mashed into the wood, she crocked. "Bathroom."

"Oh. _Right._" I helped her up slowly but firmly. "This way."

It seemed to take forever to get across the bar. Maybe from our slow pace or the fact that I was fully aware of the potential of Renee blowing chunks, either way I was ready to get to that swinging door.

Finally, we arrived and I pushed the door open for her. She entered slowly, as if she was tittering on the edge of a cliff instead of a threshold. "Do you need help?" I offered, half hoping she didn't.

She waved me off, slapping my face with the last one and apparently not noticing or caring cause she didn't turn around or even acknowledge my presence. She staggered to the stall, leaning on the door for a long time before entering. I closed the door to give her privacy but stayed standing by the door. Besides muffled groans, I couldn't hear anything else.

I started whistling along with the melody of Cash's,_Ring of Fire_ on the jukebox, tapping my foot.

"She alright?" Charlie asked to my side.

I turned to him. "Who?" I asked stupidly (Hey, I was still a little tipsy). Giving me a look, he looked to the door. "Oh. Right. She's good...I guess."

Charlie looked sideways at me. "Don't you think you should check on her?"

"Sure." I agreed but didn't make a move to do so.

Charlie gave me a _Well, go on._ look.

I pushed away from the wall and stood in front of the door, then paused and looked back a Charlie. "What if she's indecent?"

Charlie rolled her eyes. "If she is, she's in a stall."

I nodded than placed a hand on the door, but didn't push. "What if she's not?"

Charlie sighed. "What if she's unconscious?"

"Damn, I didn't think of that." That had me poking my head in with my eyes cast down. "Everything okay in here."

A small, "Yes." came from the middle stall with a loud retching inbetween.

I winced for her benefit. "Okay. Just checking. Holler if you need anything."

"Thanks." More retching. I quickly ducked out. I must of been a little wild eyed cause Charlie was on the alert, eyes shifting from me to the door.

"Everything okay?"

I nodded, licking my dried lips. Hearing her puke had me on the verge or regurgitating as well. "She's just buying a Buick."

"What?" Charlie frowned at me.

"You know. A Bu-eck." I made the motion of throwing up with my hands.

Charlie frowned harder.

Giving up I just told him, "She's throwing up."

Giving me an odd look, he ask. "Why didn't you just say that?"

Leaning the back of my head against the wall, I sighed and tried to think about anything besides what was happening on the other side of that door. Strangely the first thing to pop up was Isabella. Her eyes, most of all. The woebegone green depths. Mesmerizing and foreboding all at once. More strange, the image helped big time.

"I had to make a joke of it to get it off my mind."

"I can get that. But, damn, Cullen, not at the lady's expense."

"I know. I wasn't thinking."

He rubbed my head roughly, making it throb. Which I knew was what he had set out to do. "The sauce can do that to ya. I told you to settle down on that shit."

"I know, I know." Not really listening, cause I was busy commanding my brain to stop slushing around in my head.

"You need me, holler."

I waved him off, similar to how Renee had done to me. Expect my head was bent between my knees while she was sorta more upright. After my screaming brain slowed down, I stood up. Apparently too fast, cause I felt my lunch come up again. And again, Bella's image came to mind to soothe me yet again. Except this time the image didn't go away, following me into my hazy dreams.


	8. The Hallow Bones

**A/N:** For anyone who hasn't seen my new review on this story or haven't recently read chapter 7, I did a small rewrite at the beginning of the bar scene.

To everyone that comments, reads, follows or favorites this story, T2H2O or me: Y'all are awesome!

To people that have commented on mishaps or dislikes, thank you. I feel like I have many amazing Beta's. When I'm writing I have so much going on in my head. I'm thinking about what I'm gonna be writing in the future, what I wrote in the past and things going on in my life. Most of the time my head's a big scramble-ly mess. So I'm serious when I say thank you for telling me when things upset you, confuse you or just doesn't make sense.

(Edward will get better. I swear. I wanted to show him as...well a real guy. Are at least the guys I'm around. They're good guys but are a bunch of horn-dogs. It wasn't my intention to gross people out or make him annoying. I'm not ranting about a review just trying to explain my reasoning for writing what I wrote. I still appreciate any and all comments as long as y'all don't start taking jabs at me personally. :D)

Also I have a new Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, please check them out on my FF profile and add me:).

* * *

_Been trading "love" with indifference _

_Yeah it suits me just fine_

_I try to hold on but I'm calloused to the bone_

_Maybe that's why I feel alone_

_Maybe that's why I feel so alone_

_Me...I'm rusted and weathered_

_Barely holding together_

_I'm covered with skin that peels and _

_It just won't heal_

_-Weathered _by Creed

(Isabella (Guest) Swan)

The house was quiet the next morning.

Virtually empty, since the Cullens had left for work and Renee and Edward were still sleeping. _What had they done last night to still be asleep past 1 pm?_

It took approximately eight minutes for me to walk to the Cullens office in the Mosler Lofts building yesterday. Esme and Carlisle had both been so busy that I had no time to discuss help for my girls. So busy in fact that they were still working when we got home. And they were gone long before I woke. I would've tired to call them if I knew their numbers, which I didn't. It was positively laughable to even imagine that I knew how to turn on the computer in the family room, let alone use it to look up the office number.

So here I was, still no closer to finding my girls.

Left to my own devices, I wondered around the large house. The family room adjoining the kitchen area was remarkable. Beige, with dotted sea green pieces reflecting the sun light spilling from the glass double doors. A wooden deck spanned past the doors, furniture placed about to fit a large gathering. Speckled flower beds traced the structure. A giant tropical, planted oasis in the corner of the wooden fence. Sing-song birds danced about the vast lawn. Jumping from splashing in the bath, to eating from the different feeders. I spent most of the morning watching the little creatures. Fun little bunch they seemed to be. Also mirthfully unaware of the dangerous cat lurking in the corner. Glowing eyes shone from the shadows of a banana tree, waiting for its opportunity to strike. The feline waited for hours. The patience alone merited award.

I looked back at the defenseless, vacuous birds. One in particular enjoying his bath a little too much. Not paying attention at all to its surroundings. The large gray tabby peeked its head out of the shadows. Quite a beauty. Slinky all the way out in the open, the darker gray strips seemed to slide along its moving body. The bright blue bird seemed to get smaller as the predator got closer and closer. Only a good yard are so from the tiny bird (a good pouncing distance) everything seemed to go completely silent. Back legs flexing back and forth, the cat was ready for its lethal jump. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the drama unfolding before my eyes. For once in my life being a true spectator. Having the power to stop this with a clap or a yell and doing neither. Just watching.

"What are you doing?" Someone asking rather loudly behind me took the choice away from me, alerting the little bird to fly off before the cat could claim its prize.

The cat looked right at me with a disgruntled look. I relayed that look to Edward since it was his fault.

"Watching." I said as I looked back to the yard. The cat was gone. Vanished from thin air it seemed.

"What, exactly?"

I didn't feel like explaining why I stood there for way too long to see what would happen between the bird and cat. "The birds."

He walked to my side, smelling freshly washed. "They are kinda pretty."

I nodded simply, not really knowing what else to add to that. I look at him, just noticing he was shirtless. Naked flesh was as normal as clothed bodies to me at that point, so his chest didn't give me much pause; besides the paleness of it. Starkly different from Aro's bronze one. Scanning his face, I noticed how blood shot his eyes were.

"What happened to you yesterday?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Got a little sauced."

I was confused, my face must of showed it cause he continued with his explanation.

"Okay, I got a lot more than a little sauced. Bombed or wrecked would explain what happened to us better."

"Us?"

"Me and Renee."

"What do those words mean? Sauced, bombed or wrecked?"

He titled his head. "Drunk. You know? To drink too much alcohol."

"Yes I know what alcohol is and what happens when too much is consumed." I said shortly. "Why not just say that in the first place."

"It's slang. You know cool or funny ways of saying something."

"Slang? How peculiar." I wrinkled my nose at my own reflection. "Instead of saying what you mean, covering it with silly words that have no contextual relationship."

He chuckled lowly. "You are well versed for being..." He trailed off, uncomfortable.

"A slave." I finished for him.

He nodded awkwardly.

"I was fairly educated before I was sold. Not long after I become Aro's pet he insisted on me further studying English and Mathematics, skipping Science and History. Saying that I would most need the first two in order to please him. For a dumb tongue and lame brain would never satisfy him."

"Do you...uh..."

I looked him straight in the eyes then. "Don't be afraid to ask me anything. It does not hurt me to speak of them. Being part of my past, thats exactly where I left them."

Something flashed in his eyes. Respect, I thought. "Do you know anything about Science or History?"

"A little Science but it's very dated knowledge. I know some of my rights as a technical citizen, but I'd long stopped having rights so they have faded from memory. I know very little about this country and none of others. And don't really see a point in knowing anymore."

He stood silent for a moment, then shook his head out. "_Those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat it." _

I looked at him quizzically.

"George Santayana said that in The Life Of Reason. I'm majoring in History." He said, almost coyly.

"How many years have you been in college?"

"Uh," he looked up as if in thought. "Six."

"Did you always wanted to major in History?"

He half smiled, twisting his fingers through the mess on top his head. "No. I flip-flopped around for a couple of years as I took my general studies. Until I took The People of the United States course with Professor Garrett. He wasn't like the normal stuffy shirt professors, but was actually cool. He had a fresh, excited way of teaching the material. I was always able to retain the stuff, but got bored with it. Garret showed me my calling, I guess."

"It's sound like you hold great affection for this professor."

He nodded with a smile. "Still do. We've become good friends. I'm starting for my Ph.D under him next year. He's already got me working on my dissertation. Being a real hard ass about it too." He said the last with mock annoyance.

"What do you plan to do with this degree?"

"Be a history professor." He answered without a second thought.

"I'm sure you will inspire your students just as your professor did you."

He smiled at me. "I can teach you a few things, if you want."

"Thank you. I might take you up on that." I said, really meaning it. The animation on his face while speaking of his calling to teach amped me up to the possibility of learning more. Maybe his positive attitude would rub off on me a little. I seriously doubted it, but miracles happened.

"Anytime you're ready, let me know." He winked.

"Okay." I looked at his red eyes again, then to the kitchen. "Have you ate?"

He shook his head.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starved."

I walked into the kitchen, he followed.

"Breakfast or lunch?"

"What are you more comfortable with?"

"Anything."

"Breakfast then, please."

"Anything specific?"

He shrugged. "Surprise me."

This was new for me.

When it was my turn to cook in the past the menu was very precise, down to the garnish. Excited with the small amount of freedom, I nodded and went to the fridge. The variety overwhelmed me. Over 2 dozen eggs sat in a pretty brown basket. I picked two eggs out the basket. Placing those items down, I conferred with the mass selection again. After a good bit of searching I found bacon.

After putting the bacon to fry, I turned to Edward. "Coffee."

"_Yes,_ please." He said, looking up from his white phone with a bitten apple on the back of it. "Jar with the rooster on it next to the coffee pot has the grinds. Filters are in the draw under both."

"Spoons?"

"Two draws to the right."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

After fixing the coffee pot to make 8 cups worth, I turned back to the bacon. Turning each piece before they burned. I found what I assumed was the bread cabinet. Bread nearly burst out the doors as I opened them. Again, too much to choose from. I went with the simplest white bread I could find, which was harder than it should've been.

"Toaster?"

"Bottom cabinet, right of the icebox."

I nodded, retrieving the silver toaster with capabilities of toasting four slices of bread. Popping the bread in, I took the bacon out the pan and transferred it to a plate that seemed to have just appeared on the side of the stove. I turned to Edward with a questioning eye.

He smirked. "Figured I'd get it for you, so you'd be able to concentrate better."

Shaking my head I turned back to my task, unable to hold back a small resemblance of a smile. The crack of mouth almost hurt, it was so foreign. Adding a bit more oil that was in a decorative dispenser, I cracked the eggs gently into the pan. Digging a spatula out of the draw next to the stove, I slung boiling oil over the eggs.

Placing the plate of eggs on the counter, I went back to the fridge. "Do you like tomatoes?"

"Love them."

Looking at yet another large variety of cheeses, I turned to Edward. "What kind of cheese?"

"Pepper Jack. What are you making?"

"It's a surprise. Mayo, mustard or ketchup?"

"Just mayo."

I nodded gathering all the needed goods, plus a crisp couple of roman lettuce leaves.

Turning off the heat and grabbing the freshly popped out toast, I began building a sandwich. My ministrations where precise. No lumpy dollops of mayonnaise. No bacon or lettuce hanging sadly from the sandwich. Cheese on top of the hot eggs, in order for it to melt perfectly.

Turning to Edward, mug full of coffee already at his side, I offered him his plate.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

I could tell this exchange was everyday to him. To me it was much more. To not just have the freedom to make what I wanted, but to be thanked for it to boot was remarkable. He gifted me without even realizing it. I went to leave.

Sandwich halfway to his mouth, "You don't have to go, if you don't want."

I halted, turning to him confused. "You want me to stay while you eat?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I?" He asked, placing his sandwich down on the plate.

I shook my head out a little. "It's nothing, sorry. Just my previous master forbad for slaves to be in the room while food was being eaten."

"First, I'm not you master. Second, I kinda like your company."

"Really?" His second statement surprising me.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Please sit first, then I'll tell you."

"May I get water first."

"Of course, but you don't need to ask permission for that."

"Isn't that proper edict a guest should uphold in someone else's home?"

He nodded. "Yes, but not after that someone tells you don't need to ask anymore. In fact, unless it's locked, then you don't need to ask to use anything around here."

"Are you sure?" I asked, warily.

"Positive. That's always how my parents ran things around here. Family or...guest."

I nodded slowly, trying to except what he told me. "Glasses?"

He pointed at the cabinet that held them. After fixing myself a cold glass of purified water, I sat on the stool across from him.

He bite into the sandwich, taking a sizable chunk out of it. "Mmm. This is _amazing!_"

"Thanks." I said quietly.

"I'm serious. Best breakfast sandwich I've ever had. If Charlie ran his restaurant in the mornings I'd recommend you to him."

"I'm not certain who Charlie is, but I'm assuming that's a complement."

"He's a friend of mine that runs a bar and grill that specializing in awesome sandwiches. And, yes, it was."

"Well, I'm flattered then."

He didn't bother to respond, polishing off the last bit of his sandwich and tearing into his second one.

"You said you kinda liked my company. Why is that?" I was truly curious. His demeanor towards me was vastly different from the first night I meet him. What had granted that change? I wondered.

He chewed for a second before he washed it down with a swig of coffee. "At first I thought you were a coldhearted bitch after viewing how you treated Renee." I visibly winced. "Until yesterday, I didn't have a clue what your story was. Thanks to my mom for being extremely vague. Now I know more of what you've been through and see how you are as more of a defense than being a bitch. Sorry for that unfair judgment."

"No apology needed." I said even though it did make me feel better to hear him express regret.

"As for your company, it's...refreshing."

I furrowed my brow. _Refreshing? _ That was a word I'd never heard being referred to my company. "How so?"

"Most girls have motives when they talk to me. Except for a few like, my mom, Alice (my best-friend's girlfriend) and Renee's sweet but the age difference between us keeps her from perusing anything. Plus, Renee's really squirmy around me. But you, you're the first girl I've had an honest to goodness talk with in a while. Just simple conversation without any undertones of sex implied."

That last was more surprising then it should've been. "I never thought sex was implied."

"Exactly. See that's what I like about you. You're not searching for something out of me. I don't know why, but I like it."

I began to clean. "Why would I search?" This guy was making no sense to me. "If you wanted to have sex with me, all you have to do is ask."

He nearly spit his coffee out with that. "_What_?!" He chocked.

I turned to him. "Of course I wouldn't imply sex, if you want it ask for it."

His eyes hazed over with confusion. Welcome to my ship, Edward. "So...if I asked you right now to have sex with me, you would?"

"Yes." I said simply.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

He sputtered a bit. "You don't know me."

"So?"

"Does sex mean that little to you?"

"Yes. It's a pleasurable trade between two bodies. That is it, nothing more."

"Wow. You really have no emotional connection to sex."

"My first encounters with sex were full of confusion, fear and shame. So early on I learned to detach myself from emotions durning any intercourse. Later sexual favors become a source of survival. So no I've never saw sex as an emotional connection. I'd be dead by now if I did." As true as that last ominous bit was I regretted saying it the moment I saw his semi-disgusted face. "Sorry for over sharing there." I went to leave again.

"Please don't go." He called out.

I hesitatingly turned to him under the threshold, waiting.

"I'm sorry for making you feel...repulsive. I'm sickened by the men that caused you to be this way. Disgusted by how unfair your life has been. But mostly, I'm annoyed with myself, for how I still manage to make you have to explain yourself, then feel like you have to walk away cause I can't concept the horrible life you've lived."

"It's not your fault you can't understand it. You've lived a normal life. Why should you understand it?"

He shook his head out, hand cramming in his hair again. That must of been a nervous tick. "If not understand it, then at least be more understanding when you tell me about it. Not lose my cool every time you tell me about what you went through."

"If you could stand stone faced through what I told you, I'd think there was something wrong with you. I've been hardwired to except these things. When I said I'd die if I didn't, I wasn't just saying that for dramatic effect. If you didn't harden yourself, that world would eat you alive. Being it an abusive john, hunger or disease, something took you down."

"Diseases? Like..."

"STD's, yes."

"Do you have any..."

"No. I'm the exception though. Aro only laid with clean girls. Detesting condoms, but not wanting the hassle of sickness."

"Was Aro your only?" He asked uncomfortably.

"No. I was sold as a virgin for a month. Luckily, I didn't catch anything then. That's where I first learned to cook. But it was the very basics cause I'd never cooked before, just scoured for scraps."

"Scraps from..."

"The garbage or friendly passerby's."

"You lived on the street?"'

"Yes."

"For how long?" He asked, now unmoving on the barstool.

"Since I was born until I was 9."

(Edward)

This girl's life story just kept flooring me.

How she was functioning—and so seemingly well—was beyond me. She and the life she was used to were so alien to me. The more she spoke with a matter of fact way the smaller and more fragile she seemed. Like the slightest jolt would break her. Maybe it was the things she was telling me that made me feel like she should be so breakable. But the women that stood before me looked anything but on the verge of shattering. Detached, definitely. Strong, for sure. Brittle, no.

Her next question snapped me out of it. "Why did you and Renee get drunk last night?"

"I'm a bit of a lush, but Renee needed to drown a few sorrows."

"Sorrows? What sorrows does she have that are so great only boozes can lull them?" This last part asked a little more fiercely.

"You have to ask her to know for sure, but I suspect whatever happened to you affected her greatly."

Her eyes were skeptical. "How so?"

"Again, you have to ask her to know for sure. But I think she feels really guilty about what happened to you."

After silently debating with herself, words finally left her mouth. "She was the women that found me and took me off the streets. The first parental influence in my life. I stayed at the foster center for years, the one place I felt like I might've finally had been safe. That's when my parents showed up—druggies who birthed me in an alleyway. My mother minutely cared for my needs as a newborn, but mostly passed me off to anyone she could. My father was cruel and abusive, beating his anger or detoxes out on me. When I was 7 I fell in with a group of delinquents. We looked out for each other good enough, but my surroundings kept me from ever really feeling safe. Two years later Renee found me and brought me in. The staff was friendly and treated me good. But the kids and Renee were who made me feel really safe. Like I was going to be alright. My parents ruined that show. Because what it came down to was, I cost the government money. My mom and dad granted them the door they needed to boot me out. It took a hour evaluation to give my parents the okay. There background check must of been faked, but obviously no one bothered checking into it or cared if they did. But even if all that happened. Renee was the one that betrayed me the most, but standing by and doing nothing. Whatever she told herself then to make herself feel better, was a lie. She, like everyone else, wanted the easy way out. My parents are terrible human beings, but at least they never pretended to be anything other than snakes."

The haunted look in her eyes stopped me from interrupting her to tell her Renee had walked in halfway through her speech.

(Isabella (Guest) Swan)

Edwards pointed eyes in the direction behind me had me turning around. It was Renee, eyes brimming with tears. She darted out of sight, hands covering eyes.

I turned to Edward. "Aren't you going to follow her?"

Picking up his plate, he walked to the sink. "I think you should."

That surprised me. "Why?"

"Cause you need to hear her side." He explained as he washed the rest of the dishes.

I looked behind me to where Renee had been standing, then back to Edward. "What if I don't want to hear her side?"

He looked at me from the corner of his eyes. "I think you really do wanna hear it, that's what bothers you the most."

Huffing, I turned away from him. I stomped back to the family room, halting as I saw Renee staring out the double doors. I looked at the familiar shape of her head. Halo of curly hair glowing in the sunlight.

I moved to her side quietly. A little too silently apparently cause Renee jumped, clutching her hand to her chest. "Gosh, you scared me."

"Sorry." I murmured.

"It's okay, you just startled me. You were always really quiet. You'd scare the pants off of everyone when you were younger." She smiled fondly, remembering the past.

I didn't recall doing that. But a lot of pieces of my past had faded involuntarily from my memory. I stood awkwardly, wanting to leave but staying. Edward was right. I wanted her to explain. Something I hadn't even realized I wanted until Edward brought it to my attention. I stayed silent, having no clue what to say.

"I know you hate me, Bella." Renee said, freeing me from having to start. "And I understand why."

My eyes traveled outside, looking at nothing in-particular. "I don't hate you."

"You don't?" Renee asked. Astonished.

I shook my head. "I hate a lot of people, but you're not one of them. I'm angry with you and don't trust you though."

Renee nodded somberly, not saying anything.

"Why did you let them take me?" I asked, looking at her now.

She swallowed, meeting my eyes hesitantly. "You're parents were awfully charming and you would never fully disclose your past so I didn't know what they were really like. Plus, Bella, I had no real authority over there. I was just a worker. But, mostly, you had an opportunity to have a family, Bella. Every child deserves that."

She was right about the first part. I couldn't fault her in her naivety. "I did have a family with you and the other kids I thought."

Regret pressed her face as she sucked in soft sobs. "I felt the same way, Bella. I'm so sorry. I was foolish. I'll do anything for your forgiveness."

I contemplated what she said silently. "There's something you can do for me."

"Anything." She said eagerly.

"There were other girls left behind. Girls I promised my protection to. I need to save them. Will you help me do that?"

"Absolutely."

"Then I forgive you."

Relief flooded her features as she stepped to hug me. I reflexively stepped back. Pain stabbed at her face as her arms fell down.

I went to say something but Renee saying, "It's okay. I understand. You need time."

She was right. I did need time. But not to forgive her. Cause I wasn't lying before. I had forgiven her. I stepped away because the thought of someone touching me caused intense panic to override me. When this had happened, I wasn't sure. Sometime not long after I'd been rescued. Maybe it was because I wasn't in a state of permeant danger. Not having to harden myself to survive. Now strange feelings were taking over me. Random sounds startled me. Moving shadows petrified me. Silence unnerved me. Loud noises terrorized me. All this emotions bombarded me harshly.

Driving me slowly but steadily crazy.

(Renee)

I walked into Charlie's after lunch, feeling mortified about my behavior yesterday. Are, more so, the lack of knowledge of exactly how much I had made of a fool out of myself. But my mood was brighter than it had been for years. Bella was back and heathy. Physically of course. Her mental state was still unknown. There was a feral-ness about her now that broke my heart to see. But at least I knew she was safe. And she was willing to forgive me. For my help of course. And I'd do everything in my power to do just that. Hopefully, it wasn't to late though. I wouldn't dwell on that. Thinking nothing but unreasonably positive thoughts as I made my way into the bar.

The place was almost vacant. Only a few customers dotted the place. Low music flowed from the jukebox in the corner. I sat on a stool and waited for a worker to show themselves.

Finally, Charlie materialized from one of the back rooms. I groaned inwardly, hoping I'd see anyone but him.

His ruggedly handsome face lit up once he saw me. "Well, I didn't think I'd be lucky enough to see you again."

I smiled faintly, blushing uncontrollably. "I, uh, left my purse here and I'm here to get the Blazer."

He smiled, eyes creasing at the ends. "I know. You're bag's safe in my personal locker. And you didn't have to come all the way here, I would've brought them both to y'all."

I shrugged at the last part. "Thank you." I raised my eyebrows questioningly when he didn't make a move to retrieve it.

He leaned against the bar opposite me, getting very close. "How're you feeling?"

"Okay." I mumbled.

"Can I get you something to drink or eat?"

"No thanks."

He shrugged, pushing away, fixing me a glass of soda then placing it before me.

"Oh, thats not necessary."

He smirked. "Do you typically have a hard time accepting kindness?"

"No." I scuffed as I chugged down the glass. "Happy. Now, if you don't mid, can you please get me my purse. I have a business day ahead."

He chuckled at me, clearly amused with my curtness. "Sure can do." Disappearing back into the room he'd recently came out of, he quickly came back out with my dingy, out of date bag. I made a mental note to buy a new bag. Soon.

I snatched it out of his hands as he offered it to me. Embarrassed. By the bag and what might've happened last night. I chewed on my lip as I struggled to ask, "Did I...do anything humiliating last night?"

His eyes twinkled as he asked, "Humiliating?"

"Yes." I answered, squirming in the stool. "Like, dancing on tables or doing anything that would make me look like a floozy."

He made a show of pondering my question. "A floozy, no. I didn't get that impression."

I sighed in short lived relief.

"But," Oh, of course there was a but. "You were canned, said some pretty funny stuff and you threw up."

I winced as I massaged my now aching head. "Perfect."

"Don't sweet it. No harm, no fool." He winked trying to cheer me up. Though his endeavor was valiant, it wasn't working. I felt silly and stupid for letting myself get like that. And, _yeck_, that's what that gross taste in my mouth was this morning. At least I wasn't conscience when it happened. I absolutely hated vomiting. I don't know who didn't like it, but let's just say it's a phobia for me.

"Thanks again." I said, jiggling my purse as I slid of the stool and pulling Edward's keys out of my pocket, dredging up what little pride I had left to not show how shamed I was. "But I have to be going. Have a nice day."

His voice calling out, "Wait." halted my process to the exit.

Damn, I was so close too. I turned my neck around, leaving my body facing the door, wanting out badly. "Yes?"

"Would you go out with me sometime?" He asked, looking deeply into my eyes.

I blinked, shocked beyond belief. "You want to go out with me?" I asked, pointing at him then at myself.

He nodded, eyes shimmering with amusement. "Sure do."

"Why?" I blurted, regretting it instantly. Because it was rude and would probably hurt his feelings.

Surprisingly, it didn't and only made him shake with laughter. "Besides that you're a sweet, beautiful woman. I enjoy your company and would like more of it."

I opened my mouth to say something then clapped it closed. Finally shrugging awkwardly. "O-okay."

He granted me the brightest smile ever. "Great. Tomorrow night good?"

I thought about it. "I should be free. I'll call you in the morning and let you know for sure."

"Okay." He jotted something down on a napkin then walked towards me and stuck it in my hands. His two, big hands cupping my small ones, they lingered for a moment before he reluctantly pulled away. "Here's my number. I'm looking forward to your call." His eyes shone with something totally different now. Awaking something I thought was extent inside me.

I scrambled out of there blindly. Feeling almost...giddy as I walked down the sidewalk to go about the busy plans I didn't really have.

(Isabella (Worrier) Swan)

Later that afternoon, I'd wondered about the house again and stubbled upon the library. It was simple room, but well furnished and comfortable. The room was obviously made for relaxation. Dark wood bookshelves covered nearly the whole room—excluding the door and one long window—stuffed to the brim with books and knickknacks. Two boxy looking brown speckled chairs sat facing one another, placed across a pristine white fur rug. Skimming my hands on the edge of the middle self, I walked around the whole room; noting that there was a very eclectic mix of titles. All categorized with great care.

After randomly choosing a travel book from the mix, I sat on one of the chairs. Opening it somewhere in the middle, I landed on Paris. The Eiffel Tower showcased grandly in a large picture. The city of lights, that page informed me as I scanned the paragraphs. It was quite beautiful. Certainly more beautiful than the things I grew up seeing. Leafing through the rest of the book I was amazed by how many places there were—and these were only the touristy areas. It was a little overwhelming to realize just how big the world was. But a lot seemed to be shaking me up lately so I just overlooked the feeling.

Closing the book, I held it in my lap and stared off into space. Worrying again about my girls. Renee had talked to the Cullens and asked them if they could possibly find the other girls they had left behind. They immediately said yes. What seemed like genuine concern and purpose taking over the couple.

"I'll contact Jones," Carlisle had said as he walked away.

Esme turned to me. "I'm sorry that we left them. Renee came to us, very distraught, asking for help to find you. It was a miracle that we were able to find you, let alone get you out. We are lawyers but not the law. As much as we may wish we could, we can't penalize Aro even if we had valid evidence against him."

I nodded, understanding that they couldn't well overtake Aro. I, of all people, knew he had friends in high places. There was one thing I was having a hard time swallowing though, "Why not rescue all the girls?"

Her direct but compassionate eyes never left mine. "That's a regret we'll have to live with for the rest of our lives. I'm sure this won't help you understand, but I can attempt to explain why we took only you."

I waited mutely.

"Our goal was to get you out. We knew the business Aro ran—we've been after him for years in fact, but every time we'd even get remotely close he would slip away like the slithery bastard is he." That last part uttered bitterly. She shook her head out slightly. "Gut we weren't absolutely certain if he kept all the girls with him or in separate areas. _Or _if he was even in the same place as you. And if they were in the same place, where they were at. We knew where you were and if we'd hesitated freeing you, we would've jeopardized getting you out completely."

I saw the truth in her eyes. "How did they know it was me?"

"We had pictures of you from Renee and we had men stationed outside of Aro's properties that we knew of. Finally they saw you one day, looking out the window of one of the warehouses."

I remembered that day.

I frequently snuck up from the basement and looked at the sun set or raise from the grimy windows. One day I noticed a peculiar looking van parked a block down the street. I shrugged it off then, blind to just how much that van and me peaking out the window would change my future.

Someone clearing their throat softly had my head snapping up and me jumping slightly. They'd startled me and I felt—besides what Edward had told me earlier—guilty for being in here without permission. It was Edward. Holding a sandwich in one hand and a glass of milk in the other, book tucked under his armpit.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." He said, offering me the sandwich and milk.

I shook my head. "I've just been jumpy lately."

"Why?" He asked as he sat in the chair opposite me, concern clear in his blue, blue eyes.

I lifted my hands up—milk and sandwich still in both—in the universal _I don't know _pose. "I've been trying to figure that out myself."

"Are you okay?" He asked, leaning in towards me with his elbows on his knees.

My first intentional reaction was to say yes, but for some reason my mouth wouldn't form the words.

I shrugged.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm worried about the girls."

He nodded. "I figured that. My mom and dad have good, resourceful people working for them. They'll find your girls." He said that with such utter confidence, it was hard to dispute him. "It seems like something else is bothering you." He gazed at me perceptively. "Is there?"

I went to say no, but there was something lodging my throat again. There _was_ something bothering me. But what? I didn't know. I looked into his eyes as if they'd give me the answers. As kind as they were, they didn't give me any. I took a bite into the sandwich to give myself time to think. Peanut butter and jelly on white bread. I golfed down the whole thing cause I was hungrier than I realized and drained the milk. I set the glass down, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He waited patiently, not pushing me to answer his question. I appreciated that. Appreciated him.

"I've been feeling...skittish lately. The oddest things disturb me."

"Like?" He leaned back, steepling his fingers; looking ever the psychiatrist.

I shrugged again, feeling idiotic. "This is gonna sound pathetic, but shadows, noises, sudden movements and people touching me." Why was I telling him this? His face had to be the reason. He was so calm and understanding. Something about him had me wanting to spew my guts.

"How long?" He murmured.

"Not long after I got here."

"Don't you feel safe here?" A frown pulled at his brow.

"That's not the problem. The opposite I think actually."

His brow raised but said nothing, just waited silently for me to continue.

"It's hard to explain. The best I can think to say is I've always just lived to survive. Having to harden myself against fear and punishment. I resigned myself to the worse happening to me. But now...now I'm here. In this house with all of you. And I feel...safe here."

Edward smiled. "That's good." Then he frowned again slightly. "So what's the problem?"

"That's what I don't know. I know how I feel, but I don't know why."

"Have you talked to anyone else about this?"

I shook my head. "Just you."

He looked worried and pleased about this. "I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me. You've been through a lot. A lot more than anybody should go through. The fact that your functioning is miraculous." I wasn't so sure about the functioning part, but I just nodded silently. "If you ever feel overwhelmed and need somebody, you find me. Okay?"

"Okay." I said hesitantly, not all that certain I wanted to burden him every time I was affected by something. "What's that?" I asked as I nodded at the book in his hand, desperate to change the subject.

"A People's History of the United States," he answered as he showed me the cover, it looked well worn as if it was read often, "Garrett gave it to me."

"What's in it?"

He looked down at his obviously beloved book. "American history through the eyes of the common people."

"Interesting."

He looked up at me, eyes lighting up. "It is. You can read it sometime, if you'd like to."

"Sure. Thank you."

He smiled crookedly. "Your welcome. I thought I might teach you a little history too. Only if you want, of course."

"Right now?"

"Why not?" He asked back, totally at ease. I knew it wouldn't bother him in the least if I would say no.

Exactly why I wanted to say yes to him and did.

"Great." He said, full on excited now. "First what do you know already about our country?"

I thought for a moment, trying to trudge up what little knowledge I had stored about American History. "People from England called..."

"Pilgrims." Edward offered.

I nodded as if I was just about to say that, which I wasn't. "Right, Pilgrims. The Pilgrims sailed away for freedom on the Mayflower, landing on Plymouth Rock."

"Good. Do you know what state that's in?"

I racked my brain. "Massachusetts."

Edward eyed me. "I thought you said you didn't know history."

"I know very basic history. Elementary stuff."

"Hey, that's good. You'd be surprised how little history people—with more resources then you've had—know. Do you remember anything else about the Mayflower?"

"Only that the Indian's showed the Pilgrims how to survive their harsh new environments, Thanksgiving coming into play."

"Right, very good. Do you know who lead the voyage?"

"Columbus." I answered, actually knowing that off the bat.

Edward smiled and went to say something when a knock interrupted him. "Come in." He called.

Carlisle came in, searching the room until he found me.

I stood. "Did you find them?"

"Please, come into the kitchen." Was all he said before he walked out the room again.

I hustled to follow him until we came into the kitchen.

Esme and Renee sat at the island, cups of tea going untouched in front of them. Jones stood by the door that went outside. An air of despair clouded the room. They simply couldn't find them. That's why everyone looked so depressed. That had to be it. It_ had_ to.

"What's wrong?" I asked, the silence maddening me.

All heads snapped to me.

Carlisle was the first to respond after clearing his throat. "Isabella, Aro has abandoned the warehouse we found you at." I nodded already knowing that would happen. "And the girls...they are dead. I'm sorry."

Dead? _Dead?_ My brain was having trouble comprehending that word. "How many?"

"Four." Jones answered.

_No!_ My girls. The world titled beneath my feet. "How do you know for sure they're dead?"

Jones hesitated to answer, but I knew the answer from the look on his face. The haunted look in his eyes.

"You found their bodies." I said numbly.

"What was left of them." He muttered. Carlisle threw him a pair of eyes.

I ran out the house and into the night. Away from them, the people that misguidedly tired to help me and set all this in motion. Away from Renee's mournful eyes and Edward's worried ones. But mostly I ran away from my own crushing guilt.

(Renee)

"Bella!" I called, jumping up to follow her.

Edward stopped me by placing a hand on my shoulder. "Let me. I'll watch over her, I promise."

I stayed reluctantly, but nodded knowing I would be the last person she'd want to see. Edward rushed out the house. I looked at Esme anxiously, feeling miserable. Those poor girls. What will this do to Bella? Esme patted my hand, but said nothing. Something in her face—No, wait. Something in all their faces said that what they told Bella wasn't even the half of it.

"What?" I asked, not the least bit sure if I really wanted to know.

"They found this with the girls." Carlisle said, stepping forward and handing me a piece of paper. It had a note on it that had all the blood draining from my face.

_I will find you, pet._

_-Aro_

I called Charlie as I walked onto the wooden deck in the back, fingers shaking uncontrollably as I dialed the number.

"Hello." He answered, voice rough but kind.

"Charlie."

"Renee." His voice softening.

"I'm gonna have to rain check on tomorrow."

"Is everything okay?" He asked, alert to the tension in my voice.

I went to say yes, but couldn't. "Honestly, no."

"What's wrong?"

"It's just...some stuff is happening that really needs my attention right now."

"Do you need me to come over?"

"Oh, that's very sweet of you, but no thank you."

"Okay." His voice quiet. I detected slight disappointment, but he covered it quickly. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

"Okay. Thank you. And I promise when things settle down around here, I'll call you to reschedule."

"Alright. Take your time. I'm a patient man."

And he hung up with that. Sending my already rattle brain into a tailspin.

* * *

**References:** Zin, H. (1980). _A People's History of the United States. _Retrieved from .

_**I'm sorry if the this chapter is upsetting. But when I was walking, mulling over where the story should go, the idea of Aro killing Bella's girls hit me like a ton of bricks. Once it did, blinders seemed to come off my eyes and the whole story nearly unfolded before me. So I had to got with it. **_

_**I have to add one more thing about Edward. I'm at a point in the story where I'm in love with him. So that's why I feel so passionately about him=D**_

_**Thanks for reading,**_

_**3Phee **_


	9. Bella in Harshland

_**I'm posting this chapter early to make an announcement that's really exciting to me. I'm extremely close to being done with this story. Unless I catch writers block **_**_knock on wood__**** then I should be finished in the next couple of weeks. I may or may not be posting earlier now, depends on how the story progresses. I'll keep y'all informed though. =)**_

**A/N: **My research is limited. I'm not sure if there are really waitresses that work at The Last Supper Club, but it works for the story so please look past it.

(There is also a small rewrite on chapter 8. _Thanks cullengirl08 ;) for bringing a mishap to light._ Where Bella is remembering Esme explaining the rescue to her. It may or may not be important to you to go back and check it out. But if it is it in the paragraph that starts of like "Our goal was to get you out.")

I cannot even began to fully express my thanks to everyone that has read or commented on this story...I will try with emoticones anyways :D XD :) :- =D :-) :o) :} :] :-3 ^_^ O.O 8D :-8 8]

Enjoy,

Phee

* * *

_When the day has come_

_That I've lost my way around_

_And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground_

_When the sky turns gray_

_And everything is screaming_

_I will reach inside_

_Just to find my heart is beating_

_Oh, you tell me to hold on_

_Oh, you tell me to hold on_

_But innocence is gone..._

_-Bleeding Out _by Imagine Dragons

(Edward)

I stayed with Bella. Barely. The girl was damn quick. I had a moment to think, _She should be in track_. but it drifted away as I struggled for breath. I called her name over and over again but she wouldn't stop. Just kept moving. A mile are so later, she finally slowed enough for me to catch up with her.

I touched her shoulder and she jerked away. "DON'T TOUCH ME." She screamed, dropping to the ground in a shaky heap.

I mentally kicked myself. I'd forgotten what she'd told me in the library about people touching her. I crouched down next to her, keeping my distance. I wanted to say something, _anything_ to comfort her but came up short. "Can I show you something?"

She looked at me, eyes empty. "I guess."

* * *

I led her down a narrow dock, sitting once we got to the end. Bella sat next to me and looked out, taking in the distance view of Seattle. Not the best view ever, but still noteworthy. The lit up city so small it looked like it fit in the palm of your hand, reflecting in the dark waters. We sat at the other end of the Puget Sound, able to see the long expansion of the city.

"I come here when I need to think."

"It's beautiful." She said with no feeling in her voice. Noticing the beauty but not marveling at it.

I looked at her looking at the water. Anguish surrounded her like a living thing. She looked so devastated my first instinct was to comfort her with a consoling hug, but thought better of it. Beings what happened early and how being touched affected her. She'd somewhat calmed, the last thing I wanted to do was upset her even more. I'd never seen someone be so guarded yet open as Bella. It was awe-inspiring and troubling to witness.

Silence fell upon us, lasting for a good while. I didn't mind it. If it helped Bella, I'd stay with her like that as long as she needed.

(Isabella (Mourner) Swan)

I sat with Edward in downcast silence. Feeling miserable. I found myself gazing at the black water often. Thinking how easily someone could be swallowed up in it. Wondering how it would feel to let the water take me. Would it be peaceful to float away and eventually let the depths draw me down along with all of my regrets and fears? Or would it be horrific? Would the water be relentless? Would it suffocate me? (After all, I couldn't swim. Also, I'd never even been close to water as large as this.) Dragging me away until their was no more hope? Would abstract terror take hold of me as I drowned?

Bree, Karen, Iliana and Suzanne's face kept flashing before my eyes. All of them confused and disappointed with me. I'd broken my word to them. Suzanne was right not to trust me.

Finally breaking the long silence, I spoke through a dry mouth. "I told them I'd protect them."

Edward's head snapped up, looking at me but saying nothing. Shocked that I hadn't gone permanently mute apparently.

I continued, feeling vacant as the words spilled from my mouth. "Which, now that I think about it, was immensely stupid. I couldn't protect them. Hell, I couldn't even protect myself. I told them they'd be okay more to comfort them, knowing subconsciously that was far from the truth. The thing is...I never thought I'd leave them. I'd resolved myself to being a slave for the rest of my life. Now I'm here and they're dead. Because of me."

"It's not your fault they're dead." Edward said vehemently. I blinked at him, surprised to hear his voice so intense. "It's that asshole's fault. It's your parents fault for being such pieces of shit. This is not even remotely your fault. You gave your word to those girls. You may not have been able to keep it but you cared for them and gave them hope in a awful situation. You're a good, strong person, Bella. Don't beat yourself up."

I looked up into space as I sighed deeply. "I just want to get out of my own head for once."

"I think I can help you with that."

I looked back at him, cocking a brow.

He smiled slowly, a sly glint in his eyes. "Come." He stood abruptly and looked a challenge at me. "I'll show you."

I stood, brushing my pants off. "Alright."

* * *

"What is this?" I asked an hour and a half later, confused as to why he brought me here as I read The Last Supper Club on the sign.

"This is where I work." Edward smiled, excited.

I looked to the entrance at the corner of the building. The building was old but well managed with purple lights striking down the sides evenly.

"Come on." He opened the door and beckoned me with a hand. "It's time to get you out of your own head."

I went in against my better judgment.

Once we got close to the bouncer asking for ID's I stopped. "We've got a problem."

"What?" Edward looked down at me concerned.

"I don't have valid identification. At least not updated." I shrugged apologetically, figuring we'd have to leave.

Edward smirked, looking oddly pleased with himself. "No problem. I got this."

"How?"

"Follow me."

I followed because I was curious. Doubtful, but curious.

Once we reached the bouncer, he recognized Edward. "Yo, dude!"

"Hey, Diego." Edward said, as they clapped hands and hugged each other roughly with one arm. "This is Bella. Bella, Diego."

Diego's chocolate eyes widen when he saw me. He was Mexican and good-looking with a very high, shiny mohawk. "She's pretty, man."

"I know." Edward agreed simply. This conversation was making me acutely uncomfortable. _He knew_? This was news to me. "Can you do me a solid and let us in. She doesn't have an ID but she's of age. Trust me."

Diego examined me, setting my skin on edge. "How old are you?"

"23."

"_Really_? Cause you don't even look to be 20."

I crossed my arms and gave Edward a look. I really wasn't in the mood for this.

"She's telling the truth." Edward interjected. "I wouldn't lie to you, I swear."

Diego blew air out of his mouth, which brought a spike protruding out from under his lip to my attention. "Fine. I'm only doing this cause I know your word's good."

"Thanks, D." Edward said, slapping his back.

"Have fun." Diego called as we walked away, wiggling his fingers at me when I looked back.

We entered the large room pulsing with people, lights and music. The second level was viewable from where I was standing. Private nooks were tucked sporadically throughout the place. The mass of dancing people looked like a wave, ebbing and flowing with the beat. I felt my whole body thumping along with the loud bass. I gripped Edward's sleeve. He looked down at my hand, surprised. "What is this place?" I asked, starting to feel overwhelmed.

"A dance club." He answered as if this explained everything, exhilaration bright in his eyes. The look in his eyes was the only thing that kept me from rushing out the building.

I pried my hand off his sleeve. "Do we have to go in that?" I nodded towards the hoard of people.

He smiled down softly at me. "Not if you don't want to."

"I don't."

"Then how about a drink?"

"Okay." I looked around until I saw the bar and walked to it.

"Whoa, hold up!" Edward yelled over the music.

I turned around, cocking a brow.

"Lets go find somewhere to sit. Waitresses will bring us our drinks." I followed him around the crowd until we found black couches tucked under the second floor and by a staircase.

We sat, a reasonable amount of space between us.

"What do you like to drink?" Edward asked loudly, leaning towards me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I've never drank before."

His mouth popped open. "Never?"

I shook my head, finding his utter shock a little funny. Not enough to laugh but it had me not thinking about how very dead four innocent girls were for a few seconds.

"I can order for you. If you want." He always asked for my permission. Something I was completely unused to. It wasn't entirely unpleasant though. The opposite actually.

"Sure. I trust you." Something flashed in his eyes but it was too fleeting for me to pickup what it was.

"Cool. You should start off slow." He said leaning over and lightly touching a woman holding a circular trays arm. "We'd like to order."

The girl turned around, beaming at Edward. "Hey, Ed. Who's your friend?" The waitress asked, eyeing me as if she was sizing me up and finding that I didn't quite fit the bill.

She advertised sex. Her long, lean body incased in a slinky, revealing shimmery silver halter, short ruffly skirt get up, matching colored high-high heals finishing off her look. Her make-up was too heavy but her attractiveness was undeniable. "Bella. Bella this is Tanya."

"Hello." I did my best to crack a smile, but couldn't quite manage.

"Hi." She cozied herself right up to Edward, ignoring me as she focused her undivided attention at him. "So what can I get you?" That question was all kinds of loaded with promise by the looks of her body langue.

Edward frowned at her as he answered cooly. "Crown and seven for me and a strawberry mojito for Bella."

"Coming right up." Her lips made a popping sound on the 'p' as she trailed a finger down his shoulder.

He pulled away from her touch, giving her a sharp look. Shrugging with a giggle, Tanya sprung up. After taking a few more orders, she disappeared in the crowd.

"Sorry about that."

"It's not a problem."

He peered at me, gauging how truthful I was being. Finally he smiled a crocked smile that said _Aw, shucks. I can't help it that women can't reset me._

I titled my head as a thought came to me. "Did you and the waitress have relations?"

"Relations?" Edward repeated the word as if he'd never heard it.

"Yes. You know, sex."

He chocked out a laughed. "Me and Tanya? Absolutely not."

"I was just asking cause the chemistry between you two seemed that way."

He humphed. "If there's any chemistry it completely one-sided and coming all from Tanya."

"You dislike her." I stated instead of asked because it was written all over his face.

His face softened a little as he pondered for a moment. "I don't necessarily dislike her. I just find her aggressiveness annoying."

"Aggression puts you off?"

"When it comes to a girl I might want to have a relations with, yes." His eyes danced with silent laughter on the word 'relations'.

I shot him unamused eyes but couldn't hold them as one corner of my mouth lifted.

He gasped, hand at chest. "Is that a smile I see?"

"Shut it, Cullen." I grumbled, still the corner of my mouth wouldn't go down.

Tanya broke through the crowd then. Beelining for Edward. "Here you go, pumpkin." She winked at Edward as she leaned down so much you'd have to be blind not to see her cleavage nearly popping out as she placed both our drinks on the table in front of us.

"Thanks." He muttered handing her twenty dollars. "Keep the change."

"Thanks, honey. Catch you later." She sauntered off, swishing her behind the whole way.

"How much were the drinks?" I asked, too astonished that he'd exchange that much money for the little drinks we got to worry about being rude. Mine was taller and had more liquid than Edward but not by much.

"Fifteen for mine, ten for yours and a five dollar tip."

I gaped at him, eyeing the drinks. "And that's not overpriced?"

"Not around here. Cheap actually. Here, try yours." He suggested, handing me the glass.

It was cool in my hands. I swirled the pink liquid about as I inspected it, ice clinking against the glass. I took a sip from the thin straw. "Hmm. It's good." I took another sip, a much longer one. "Really good."

"Easy." He chuckled, pulling the drink down gently. "Take it slow."

I forced myself to put the drink down to my lap. "So, what do you do here when you're working?"

"I'm a bouncer."

"Like Diego?"

He nodded.

"What does a bouncer do?"

He looked at me as if I was the most puzzling thing ever. He shook his head. "Sorry. Sometimes I forget how...inexperienced you are. You speak and carry yourself in a way that makes you seem worldly."

"Thank you?" I asked more than said because I wasn't sure if it was a compliment.

"It's a compliment." He answered the question in my tone. "I've meet girls that have had much more access and better upbringings who never acted as dignified as you do."

_Dignified_? I bounced the word around in my head. I was called many things in my life but dignified was never one of them. I found myself limitedly educated, finding out that knowledge was my secret power and throwing myself into any books Aro would allow me. But calling me dignified was a bit of a stretch.

"The word fits you." He must've been a mind reader. It was like he'd just plucked my thoughts right out of my head. Efficiently creeping me out. "There's a solid exterior you've carefully constructed that's hard to see past but underneath there's a earnest, composed attitude that's always present." He was looking at me, seeing way too much.

I looked away from him, taking another long draw from the straw.

"To answer your question about being a bouncer." Edward said, having my eyes finding his again. "We alternate places frequently. Some card at the entrance, others guard the VIP while most walk around the entire building. All of us have to maintain people if they get rowdy."

"Rowdy as in?"

"Belligerent. Out of hand."

"What happens if someone gets like that?" I asked, totally engrossed by this.

He took a pull from his liquor, licking a drop that was trying to escape from his mouth. I found myself bizarrely captivated by the capture. Blinking I tore my eyes away from his mouth and to his eyes. I knew he saw me staring but was kind enough not to make me squirm about it. "We escort them out. Sometimes they go without much of struggle but not very often." He said that sourly, obviously remembering past altercations. "Sometimes, we get fights that break out."

"Fights?"

He nodded.

"How big? How often?" I asked, sucking on the straw until I heard a slurping sound. Huh, it was empty. Pity. I think I pouted.

Edward smiled slightly, finding me amusing as all get out. "I've seen one big one. A man got hurled over the crowd. Wrecked the place up pretty bad."

"Wow."

"Yea. It was pretty intense."

"You had to get in the middle of it?"

"Yup. Part of the job description."

I frowned, the idea of Edward being in the middle of a brawl not sitting with me well. Why it didn't was a mystery to me but the feeling was irrefutable.

"No worries. I came out with very little bumps and bruises." He assured me, noticing and interrupting my frown correctly. "But most of the fights we have to deal with are between pricks who think their big shots and who are almost always fighting over a girl."

"A girl?"

He nodded, sipping the last bit of alcohol clinging to the ice.

"Why would they fight over a girl?" I asked, baffled.

Edward shrugged. "Testosterone, I guess. Our embedded need to show dominance. Brute idiocracy. A whole assortment of reasons."

My head was spinning, but I was beginning to think that it had more to do with the mojito than confusion.

"Another drink?"

"Yes." I answered immediately. "Please." I tacked on, feeling foolish.

He waved his hand at another, shorter waitress. She came eagerly, damn near pushing a poor, witless guy over on her way to us. Her predatory eyes were fixed on Edward. "Hey, Eddie." She blinked suggestively at him. How she managed to suggest something with a blink was beyond me, but she succeeded magnificently. "More drinks?" She asked, not even bothering to ask who I was or even spare a glance in my direction as she picked up our glasses holding only ice.

"Hey, Jess, another Crown and seven for me." Edward looked at me. "Do you want something different?"

I shook my head.

"Another strawberry mojito for Bella, please."

"Gotcha. Back in a flash." She winked and whisked herself away. That girl wasn't as brazen as Tayna but her attraction to Edward was also blatantly perceptible. He seemed to have quite the effect on the ladies.

He_ was_ devastatingly handsome. Drop-dead actually. Face so perfectly shaped that God must've taken extra-special care when making it. Mouth just that right amount of pouty. His mused-up, golden hair falling just over his deep blue eyes. His eyes, his eyes sealed the deal. So full of life and buoyancy. His thrill for life was palatable. Infectious. No, it wasn't difficult to see why those girls acted the way they did around him.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked, snapping me out of my thoughts as he peered into my face.

"Nothing." I said too quickly.

"Are you sure? You seemed really deep in thought."

"I feel a little bit light headed." I said, waving my hands around my head. I wasn't exactly lying but I wasn't being fully honest either.

Concern instantly took over his face. "Are you okay? Are you sure you want another drink?"

I waved him off. "I'm fine. I swear. Brains just a bit fluffy."

He smiled, concern clearing away. "That's a buzz. Do you feel relaxed?"

I checked myself inwardly. "Yes. Very."

He chuckled. "This is the fun part. You'll have to take it easy for your first time though. It can go downhill fast if we're not careful."

The word _we_ rang in my head. I absurdly liked hearing him say it.

The petite waitress materialized from thin air it seemed then.

"Here you go!" She bent exactly like Tayna, significantly smaller breast than her predecessor's nearly spilling out of her identical outfit as she placed our drinks down.

"Thanks, Jessica." Edward said handing her a twenty too.

Snatching my glass, I sucked at the straw fiercely.

"Steady, Bella." He tried to say sternly but the laughter in his eyes ruined the effect. "At the rate you're going I'll have to carry you out of here."

Placing the drink on my lap, I laid my head back and closed my eyes. Losing myself to the sensations and music surrounding me.

"Out of your own head yet?"

I turned my head and looked at him. "Yes."

He smiled lazily at me, alcohol taking affect on him as well. Not as much as me, but still working nonetheless. "How does it feel?"

"Heavenly." I sighed after I took another sip.

"Good. I'm glad—"

"Edward!" Someone's voice broke through the little haze filled buzzed we'd created. "_Dude_, whats up?"

I sat up straight. Still feeling light and airy but more alert.

It was a male that had called out to Edward. He seemed to be Edward's age, but not nearly as tall, in shape or noticeable. He wasn't ugly. Cute even. He just paled in comparison to Edward. There was another male with this one, skin the color of mocha and a kind face. He was the same height as his pal. The length of his eyelashes were extraordinary. Three girls hung from their arms. All their eyes looked glossy. Drug induced no doubt.

They made themselves comfortable without invitation, forcing me and Edward to sit much closer to where our cloths were touching.

"Long time no see, buddy." The guy to first call out said smiling at me. "Who's this?"

Edward cleared is throat, looking as aggravated as I felt about the intrusion. "Bella. Bella this is Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley, I went to high school with them."

"Yea, haven't seen him since graduation either." Mike said good-naturally while his eyes looked resentful. "Too busy at his fancy college to hang with us common folks." His jealousy of Edward was evident. Long lived too.

"Hello, nice to meet you." Tyler said, smiling at me. He couldn't care less about Edward not keeping in contact over the years.

"Hello, nice to meet you too."

"Howdy," Mike interrupted, quick to get the attention back on himself. "This is Sugar, Betty and Tina."

They all waved, me and Edward nodded.

"So y'all wanna get blowed?" Mike asked.

I didn't know many slang terms, but I knew that one. Being exposed to all types of drugs since Aro dabbled in dealing them. Dabbled like a billionaire dabbled in real-estate.

"No." I said impassively. Really wanting them to leave.

"Eddie?" Mike asked, pulling a small jewelry baggie half-filled with white powder out of his pocket.

Edward shook his head.

Mike frowned as he tucked the bag back inside his pocket. "Suit yourself. More for us." The girls started dancing about, distracting the guys. Except Edward, who was looking an apology at me. I showed him with my face that it didn't bother me.

Leaning towards him, I whispered closely to his ear. "Do you like being called Ed or Eddie?"

"No." He whispered back in my ear, bringing a chill down my spin.

"Noted, Edward."

He smiled at me and I smiled back. Close to a real one.

"I wanna dance on the dance floor!" One of the girls whined.

"Me too!" The other two wailed.

"Okay. Okay." Mike chuckled, eyes landing on me. "Wanna join?"

I shook my head. "No, thanks."

Shrugging Mike and Tyler escorted the girls onto the dance floor.

I watched them until I lost sight of them in the crowd. I looked back at Edward, one eyebrow raised. "What a...colorful group."

"Tyler gets a little too loaded, but he's an alright guy." Edward said, sliding back over and giving me space. Space I was a tiny bit sad about. "Newton's a loser." He stated that bitterly.

Draining the rest of my drink, I placed it down and looked at him. Opened my mouth, then closed it. Needing to tell him something, but not wanting to.

"What?" He inquired curiously, searching my face.

"I need...the bathroom."

"Oh." He smiled. "It's right back there. The door with the sign over it. I'll take you."

"_No_." I said more sternly than I intended, standing quickly. "You stay and hold our place. I'll be fine."

He eyed me, debating with himself inwardly. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay. But if you take more than 15 minutes, I'm coming after you."

I nodded then walked away. It took me a while to get there cause I nearly pressed myself against against the wall to get around the crowd. Finally, I got there, feeling like I was about to burst. After relieving myself, I started to wash my hands—

The door jerked opened, making me jump and splatter water all over the mirror. Mike stumbled in and my pulse jump in my throat. He scanned the room until his eyes fell on me.

He smiled, as he advanced slowly towards me. He was shorter than Edward and wasn't even close to being as muscular as him, but was still significantly bigger than me. He smelled putrid. Alcohol, day old sweat and drugs oozed from his pores.

"Hey there." He leered at me. "What is a thing like you doing with someone like Edward? You're not his type."

I clinched my fist as I took a step back. "How so?"

He kept advancing towards me until he backed me up into a stall, undoing the front of his pants while doing this. "There's something...stained about you. You aren't pristine and perfect like the girls Edward usually goes after." The door slammed behind us then as his hands gripped my neck. Chocking me. "You're not too grimy for me. I belong with dirt, while King Eddie belongs with the clouds." He said this with deranged envy.

I realized early on with odd detachment that he hadn't bursted in the ladies room on accident. He'd come in with the intent to rape someone. I could see it in his sleazy, murky eyes. Now I also knew with absolute certainty he'd come in with the intention of raping _me_ specifically. Numbness began to crawl over me like an old lover caresses as Mike ripped at my shirt; wafting his hot, foul breathe in my face. I was almost completely numbed when Edward's face flashed before my eyes and the sudden urge to fight took over me. I kneed Mike hard in the groin.

Howling in pain, he flung backwards and banged his head against the wall. Pushing him out the stall and onto the floor, I jumped over his unconscious body, running out the door.

(Edward)

I sat and waited. Taping my foot. Bella had been gone for almost 20 minutes now. I gave her a few extra minutes figuring it would take her longer as I watched her try to paint herself against the wall to get around the crowd. Now I was getting worried. I should've at least seen her by now. I got up to go check and that's when I saw her bursting out of the crowd with a savage, panic-stricken look on her face that had the hairs on the back of my neck rising.

I ran to her.

"I want to go. _Now._" She spat out once I reached her.

"What's wrong? What happened?" I asked, dread taking over me as I noticed faint marks on her neck. A hand did that. "Bella. Who did that?" I pointed at her neck.

"Mike."

Rage crushed over me. That fucker was gonna pay.

"Edward wait," Bella pleaded, grabbing my arm. "Please, let's just go."

"We will, in a second. Come with me."

I waited until she followed. I stalked around until I found Sam Uley.

Sam smiled, then his face fell once he noticed my face. "What's up?"

"Can you stay with Bella for a second? I gotta take care of something."

"Uh." He looked at Bella then back to me, confused as hell. "Sure."

I nodded. "Thanks." I went to leave.

"Edward?" Bella was full on panicking now, her whole body shaking.

I got as close to her as I could without touching. "Bella look at me." She peered at me with wet, bloodshot eyes. "I'll be back. And I'll take you wherever you wanna go. But right now I have to take care of Newton, okay?"

She nodded stiffly.

"Sam's a good guy. He'll protect you."

"Okay." Her eyes were taking on that empty look again. I was gonna beat Mike's face in for that look.

I looked at Sam. "Don't let her leave your side."

He nodded. "I won't."

I walked threw the crowed, not giving a damn if I hit people along the way. As I got to the bathroom door, Mike was coming out. He smiled jubilantly at me, adjusting his pants as he walked forward. Searing fury had my ears ringing and my sight blurring.

I clocked the fucker right in his stupid mouth, knocking him to the ground. Hauling him up by his shirt, I punched him again. And again, and again, and again. I beat him till his face was puckered up real nice. Then I stared on his sides, knocking the wind out of him with each blow. At some point durning this, I'd lost all sense of sight and the world around me. All I knew was feeling. And I felt like killing him.

Hands grabbed my chest, pulling me away from Newton. I snarled at them. "Let me go."

"_Cullen_. Stop! It's Diego. Stop. You're gonna kill him."

"Good." I snapped, fighting against his hold.

"What the fuck?" That was Sam's voice.

Vision came to me then as I looked around frantically for Bella. I relaxed marginally as I saw her standing by Sam, looking down at Mike then at me as if she couldn't believe I'd done that to him.

"_Shit_ the cops are coming." Diego said, pulling me away from the scene.

Sam and Bella followed.

"Let go." I ground through my teeth.

Diego shook his head. "And have you really kill that guy? I don't think so."

"I don't give a shit about Newton. Let. Me. Go."

Diego paused, but finally listened.

Breaking free, I went straight to Bella.

She jerked slightly, causing me to halt in my tracks. "Bella?"

She hugged herself. "Can we go now?"

I nodded. "We'll take the back way out. It's quicker."

She nodded, not looking me in the eyes.

"Please, don't be scared of me." I pleaded.

She looked at me then, tears were free falling from her bleak eyes at this point. "Just get me out of here, _please_."

I nodded and lead her away.


	10. Where the Hurt Things Are

**A/N:** HOLY SHIT!I'm finished with the story. ****BIG** excited claps** I will now be posting a chapter everyday. ;)

* * *

_This is a song for the broken girl_

_The one pushed aside by the cold, cold world_

_You are_

_Hear me when I say_

_You're not the worthless they made you feel_

_There is a Love they can never steal away_

_And you don't have to stay that broken girl_

-_Broken Girl_ by Matthew West

(Edward)

"I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry." I said that over and over again to Bella as I sped down the road.

"_Edward_. Shut. Up." She said through clenched teeth.

"But..."

She gripped the seat so tightly her knuckles were turning white. "Please."

I shut my mouth and drove. I watched her physically struggle to compose herself. Slowly but surely she reigned in her control, breathing in slowly and deeply. She just kept amazing me more and more.

"Are you scared of me?"

She shook her head slowly. Meaning it. _Thank God._

"I should've never brought you there." I said venomously, pissed off at myself.

"No." I looked at her. No I shouldn't have or no it was okay? "I enjoyed myself, until Mike."

Red clouded my vision at his name passing her lips as I squeezed the wheel till I felt a sharp pain, still squeezing past the pain. "I should've watched over you."

She looked at me. "You couldn't have known he would've done that. Don't blame yourself."

I nodded silently, still blaming myself but not burdening her with it. "Do you want me to take you home?"

She shook her head.

"Where do you want to go?"

She looked out the window for a moment, then back to me. "I'm kinda hungry."

A smile broke through me then. After everything she'd been through she still thought about eating. She truly didn't let things stop her from going on. Except for her girls dying, but still as much as I knew she was hurting she sat like a pillar of strength. Either from pigheadedness or instinct. I was going with the latter.

"I know just the place." I said, pushing on the accelerator.

* * *

I lead Bella into Charlie's. It was late to be eating, but Charlie would hook us up.

"_Edward_," Charlie greeted. "Three days in a role, huh?"

"What can I say, I missed you, man."

Charlie smiled, shaking his head. "Who's this young lady?"

"Bella." She answered. Charlie smiled and she smiled back. Well more pulled her mouth up. No matter how hard she tired her smiles never reached her eyes.

"So, what can I do for you folks?" Charlie asked, placing his rag on the ground.

"Two specials, please." I answered.

Charlie looked at the clock, which said 10pm, then back to us.

"I know it's late, but we're really hungry and I wanted Bella to try the best sub in Seattle."

"Flattery doesn't get you anywhere with me, Cullen." Charlie's eyes were sharp when he said this, but he was smiling.

I pleaded to him with my eyes. Something in both of our faces must of persuaded him cause he nodded. "I'll be back. Sherry," He called out and I cringed. Damn, I'd forgotten she worked here. Oh well, I wasn't likely to stop coming to my favorite joint just to avoid a girl.

"Yea, boss." She called back.

"Get them their drinks." He called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the kitchen.

"Yes, sir." She said as she turned, smiling. Her smile fell once she saw us. Eyes snapping to Bella, she frowned at me. She stomped to us, slamming her hands down roughly on the bar. "What do you want?"

I swallowed and looked at Bella who was looking back and forth between us, curiously. "Bella?"

"Coke's fine, thanks." She said directly to Sherry.

Sherry ignored her, starring daggers at me.

"Me too." I said to her, swallowing hard.

Flouncing herself around, she fixed our drinks forcefully. "Here." She placed our drinks down roughly in front of us and stormed off.

Bella looked at me over the rim of her glass as she took a sip. "Did you have relations with her?" She asked after she was finished drinking.

I wanted to lie, but couldn't. "Yes."

She looked back at Sherry. "Now I see the difference in your pursuers and disgruntled lovers. How long has it been since you've been with her?"

I really didn't want to answer that, but found my stupid mouth opening to do just that. "A couple of days ago."

Her head snapped to me, shocked. "What happened?"

I scratched my head. "Well, I met you."

"And?" She asked. "Why does that stop you two from being together?"

I shrugged, feeling like a tool. "We were more of a...fling. Didn't get to know one another, just had sex the first night we met." I watched her face. She still wasn't getting it. "The next morning, my mom called me, saying she had someone for me to meet, and it was you." I shook my head, smiling bemusedly. "At first I felt like I had to defend Renee against you, then I got to know you and felt differently."

"You felt that you had to protect me against Renee?" She asked, peering at me. Perplexed.

I shook my head. "No. Not against Renee."

"Who then?"

I looked at her, hoping that what I was about to say wouldn't upset. "Your past."

She jerked back, blinking at me. "My past." She repeated slowly, as she took another sip.

I nodded, tracing lines through the condensation on my glass. "Yea. I've met girls my parents helped, but never got to know them. I knew their lives were tragic, but I never knew to what extent. Until you told me when we were sight seeing and continuously after that."

"Sorry?" She asked more than said.

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad you felt like you could talk to me. Well, more like talked at me at first." I smiled remembering how fierce she looked. "It took a while but I saw how broken you were inside and something in me shifted."

"Shifted how?"

I shrugged. "I'm not exactly sure. All I know is it happened when you were making a sandwich for me."

"Why then?" She was totally engrossed in our conversation now, eyes never breaking from mine.

I licked my suddenly dry lips. "When you said you'd give me sex without feeling." She blinked at me, surprised by this omission. "It stunned me to realize just how damaged you were."

She looked at a loss.

I tired to explain better, placing my hand down on the bar inches away from hers. "I get no-strings sex. But the detached look on your face when you offered yourself to me shocked and sadden me."

She looked to my hand then back to my eyes. "Why?" I could tell I was starting to upset her. Embarrassing her, if I was interpreting the look in her eyes correctly.

I frowned, trying to rake my brain for a better way of explaining. "Sex is a beautiful thing."

"Not in my world." She interrupted grimly.

I nodded. "Not in your _past_, no. But now your safe and have the whole world ahead of you."

She looked at me nonplussed.

I continued. "I'm not sure why, but seeing your eyes made me want to show you how wonderful life could be."

"Really?" She whispered, eyes shimmering with tears a little.

I nodded and went to say something else.

"Here ya go." Charlie saying stopped me as he placed our orders in front of us. "Enjoy." He said with a smile before he turned away and helped another customer.

Raising the sandwich to her mouth, Bella took a small bite. "Hmm. This is good!" She took three more quick bites then drank her coke. Looking a challenge at me while doing it.

I smiled, digging into my sandwich too.

(Isabella (Broken) Swan)

Was I damaged? I examined myself inwardly. Smacking quickly into some serious black-holes. Holes where happiness and love should've been stored. That was more vacancy then damage though. I searched further as we ate in silence. Finding vandalism in my soul swiftly, caused by men using and abusing me for their on purpose. I used to think all men were like that. Greedy and cruel. Until Edward. He flipped my perspective completely upside-down. He had no ulterior motives. What you saw was what you got with him. Which was a sweet and kind nature, a little wayward and oblivious at moment, but he was still a genuinely good guy.

There were still dirt bags in the word. Like Mike Newton, Tubby and Aro. I was fully and indefinitely aware of that. But now, meeting men like Edward, Carlisle and even Charlie, my prospective of the goodness of men has alter in a more positive light.

"You want to go home now?" Edward asked as we pushed away our empty basket at the same time.

I looked at the clock, noting that it was moving strangely slower than it should've. Probably aftershock from almost being raped. I shook myself mentally and looked at Edward. "Not really."

"Okay. What should we do then?" I shrugged. Twisting his mouth, Edward looked around for inspiration to pop out of thin air. Apparently it did, because his face lit up. "Pool."

"Excuse me?"

He looked at me, then nodded towards the corner of the bar where a table with a green top and six holes on its edges. "Do you want to play pool with me?"

I eyed the table. "I've never played before."

Edward blinked in shock for moment but quickly recovered with an easy smile. "I'll show you how, if you wanna learn."

I nodded. "I do."

"Great." He swung off the stool. "Come one."

I followed him to the table. Once we got there, he walked to a wall and grabbed a long slender stick from the mounted selection and stuck it out towards me. I raised a brow at him, but took it. Squatting down, he inserted coins into a the side and pushed the silver holder back. A loud clacking sounded along with rolling followed. Taking out a wooden triangle and placing it on the table, Edward began sorting colorful balls in it. Some solid, others striped.

"This," He said, holding up a white ball. "Is a cue ball."

Rolling the triangle around a bit, he carefully lifted the triangle from the balls and put it away under the table, leaving the balls in the same triangular shape. Grabbing a stick for himself, he walked towards me. "I'll break." He said, stepping around me to stand at the other end of the table, placing the cue ball down arms length away from himself.

Bending over the table, he held the tip of the stick between his fingers and the thicker end with his other hand. He slid the stick back and forth a few times, intently focused on the triangle across from him. With one last, extended draw back he slammed the stick home causing the cue ball to zip across the table and slam against the triangle, scattering the other balls all over. One solid blue and another stripped yellow punched into a hole before the rest settled.

"I made two different colors, so you can choose whatever colors you want to go after."

I walked to the cue ball that was almost in the middle, trying to mimic how he held himself earlier and failing.

"Can I help you?"

I looked at him, still staying bent. "Sure."

"It'll be easier to show you if I can touch you." He watched me closely.

I was apprehensive about that. Because of the anxious fear that took over me by being touched but there was something else. Something almost...thrilling about the anticipation of Edward touching me.

"Okay." I finally said.

Balancing his stick on the wall, he walked to me slowly. I watched his every movement, clinching the stick involuntarily as an all-consuming need to run took over. I stayed, fighting against my panic. He stopped and stood beside me awkwardly for a moment. Alarm bells were ringing in my head at this point. _Run! _They were clanging. I noticed the tip of the stick shaking inbetween my fingers. I closed my eyes as I felt Edward shift towards me. I waited for the unavoidable panic-attack to take over. My own, harsh breathing echoed in my ears as my chest labored. Finally, I felt a soft whisper of a touch on my elbow. I felt and saw his other hand touch my hand holding the tip of the stick. His face was inches from mine. And I felt...okay. Better than okay. All feelings of alarm or panic were wholly absent as if they'd never been there. Strange, since it had only seemed to be getting worse lately. A new, unusual feeling came over me then. My skin prickled where his hands laid. His breath flicking my hair had the most peculiar sensation passing through my entire body with each exhale. The closest explanation I could think to describe it was like how it felt when that first ray of sunlight washed over you.

"Bend a little more. Good." Edward murmured near my ear. "Point this elbow more. Now, this is the tricky part, don't squeeze the tip. Just let it slide loosely between your fingers. Now find the ball you want and aim. Steady now. Hit." I did as he said and hit the cue ball roughly. The ball didn't roll nearly as fast or precisely as Edwards but it went across the table and knocked against a solid purple and red ball but didn't send them into any holes. "Good. Go ahead and try again."

"Is that protocol?"

He shook his head, slowly moving away from me. "No. But you've never played, so you get exemption."

I shrugged, walking to the cue ball again and holding myself the way Edward showed me. I focused better this time without the headiness of Edward being so very close distracting me. I plowed the stick into the ball, the sucker soared all the way into a hole, not even remotely touching another ball. "What does that mean?"

"It's called a scratch."

"Bad or good?"

"Bad." He answered, looking a little apologetic.

"What happens now? The ball is gone." I noticed that the first two that went into the holes didn't come back out again.

He smiled as he walked around the other end of the table, his hand disappearing from my vision as he lowered it. In a short time, he lifted his hand back up, cue ball clutched in it. "It's bigger than the rest. It's the only ball that will keep coming out."

I nodded, leaning against the stick a little. "Interesting. Now what?"

Edward rolled the ball about in his hand. "Usually, when one player scratches the other can put the ball wherever they want. But you can go again."

I shook my head. "No more special treatment."

He went to object.

I held up a hand, he closed his mouth. "How else will I learn?"

He nodded ambivalently, then laid the ball down. "Six in corner pocket." He said as he pointed the stick at the solid green ball then at the hole to the right across from himself. Bending and sliding the stick, he hit the end of the stick against the white ball swiftly. Sailing across the table, the cue ball hit the six, causing the green ball to barrel into the hole. He smiled up at me, exuberant. "Solids are mine."

"Meaning?"

"You go after stripes from now on."

I looked at the balls strewn around the table. Some of my balls were surrounded by his. "What happens if I make a solid?"

"It helps me. The player to get rid of their colors first can go after the 8 ball." He pointed at a solid black ball. "The first to do that is the winner. But if you pocket the eight ball before you finished the rest, you lose."

I nodded. "No eight ball yet. Got it."

He smiled. "Since I made one, I get another chance."

"How many times do you get to go again?"

"As long as I keep making them."

"So you can just keep going over and over until you get to the eight ball?"

"Technically, yes. But that's difficult for even an experienced player."

"How experienced are you?"

He shrugged as he positioned himself. "I played a lot in high school, but I haven't picked up a stick in a long time."

"How long?"

He thought about it, squinting his eyes a little. "Five years." He blinked, surprised to realize this. "Yea, I'm a little rusty."

He didn't seem rusty to me. Very skilled actually. "So I might have a smidgen of a chance at winning."

"Anything's possible." Edward said with a smile. "Four in side-pocket." He hit the cue ball a little softer than usual. The ball moved passed the solid purple ball it should've hit. I thought he'd missed until I saw the cue ball bounce against the wall and come back to the four. The balls contacted, sending the ball Edward called back to him and into the hole on the side he was standing.

"Good job." I said, admirably.

"Thanks." He looked at me uncertainly. "You sure you don't want to go."

I just looked at him.

"Alright, sorry." He held his hands up in mock surrender, repositioning himself and calling, "Three in corner pocket." He touched his hand to the hole directly to his left. I looked doubtfully at the solid red ball that was clean across the table from the hole he indicated. Angling the stick slightly upwards, he pulled the stick back and forth until he hit the cue ball. It hit home and both the balls rolled and bounced off the wall, each gliding into the hole he'd called.

He smiled at me. Oddly pleased that he'd scratched. "You're turn." He said as he got the cue ball and handed it to me.

Scanning the table, I placed the cue ball down and aimed at the blue stripped ten ball that was in clear line to the corner pocket. "Ten in corner pocket." Aiming, I jabbed the cue ball and landed the shot. Excitement rushed through me. I smiled at Edward.

He clapped. "Good job. Go again. You don't have to call though if you don't want."

"Why not?"

"If you call a certain ball and pocket and make different ones, the turn goes to me."

I thought about it. "I'll keep calling."

He nodded. "Whatever you want to do."

"Fourteen in side pocket." I missed and frowned.

"Hey, don't worry, you're doing really good." Edward consoled as he made the maroon seven and missed the orange five, making a fifteen for me instead.

I tired for the purple stripped twelve and missed but made the orange stripped thirteen instead. Edward went after his five again and made it, then tired for the yellow one. He sunk the ball in, but the cue ball kept going until it sent the eight ball into a hole too.

Edward blinked back surprise but smiled good-naturally at me. "You win."

"By default." I grumbled as I looked at my three left compared to his one, only half of the four stripped balls put in holes made by me.

"When you're playing for money, a wins a win." He said assuredly.

"Can we play again?''

He smiled, electric blue eyes twinkling. "Sure."

(Edward)

We played pool until closing time. I won most of the games, but Bella kept playing, determination etching her face. She finally beat me fair and square—her words. When she did, the most breathtaking smile brighten her face. I stood riveted at the beautiful but fleeting clapping me on the back, alerted me that I could move. I blinked at him then the clock. Damn, time had flown.

I drove us home quietly. Thrown by how her smile had affected me. How _she'd_ been affecting me. Bella stayed silent too. For my sake or her own, I wasn't sure. I pulled up to my parents and was surprised to see the house lit up. This was extremely odd. The saying 'early to bed, early to rise' was made for people like my parents. This wasn't good.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?" Bella asked, looking uneasily at the house.

"Yea." Was all I said as I got out and walked to the house.

Not even a second after I opened the door, I heard my mother's distraught voice calling my name.

"Yea, it's us."

"Where have you been?" I heard her anxious voice getting closer till she materialized dressed in her robe in front of us. "Are you okay?" She asked looking to both of us.

We both nodded.

She went to say something else, but my fathers perturbed voice calling out her name stopped her. "Let's go to the kitchen."

We followed her. Bella's face taking on that blank look again as we got closer. Renee and Carlisle sat at the island both in their PJs; Renee clutching her mug with bloodshot eyes and Carlisle drumming his fingers with sunken ones.

My father's eyes pierced through me. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Out." I grumbled, pissed that I felt like I was a teenager again.

"Don't give me that shit—"

"_Carlisle_." Esme reproved.

Collecting himself with an effort, my father huffed out air. "Your boss called." _Oh shit_. "He said you beat someone unconscious. The boy had to be hospitalized."

I shrugged. "The fucker deserved it."

Carlisle slammed his hands down, causing all the women to jump. "This is serious, son." He voice furious. "You've lost your job, you can't even step within twenty feet of the place. The guy you assaulted is threatening to press charges. What the fuck were you thinking?" Damn, was he mad. I'd only heard my dad cuss a hand full of times, each were moments like this, usually directed at me.

I shrugged, not offering an explanation. I didn't want to embarrass Bella. Let the fucker sue me.

"What do have to say for yourself?" My father asked with a stern face, crossing his arm.

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

My father visibly started to shake.

"He did it for me." Bella intercepted. I looked at her, saying, _You don't have to._ with my eyes. She continued, stepping forward. "Mike Newton bursted into the ladies room and cornered me." Esme and Renee gasped as dread clouded my fathers face.

"Did he..." Esme trailed off.

"Rape me?"

They all flinched but nodded.

"No. But he was close." She showed her bruised neck, that was blossoming into a vibrant purple "I kneed him in the crotch and ran to Edward. Then Edward left me with a friend and went find him." She trailed off.

My father looked at me with something close to pride on his face now. "Well, then, way to go, son."

Esme took a step towards Bella, reaching a hand out to her. Bella stepped back, jerking her shoulder away. Her eyes, panicked and contrite. Esme smiled reassuringly at Bella. "Are you okay, dear?"

Bella look around at everyone, eyes staying on mine. "I think so."

Esme didn't look totally convinced, but nodded anyway. "If you need _anything_ you'll let us know, right?"

Bella simply nodded, eyes back on Esme.

Carlisle clasped my shoulder. "I'm sorry for doubting you, son."

"It's cool." I meant it. This was erratic behavior for even me. My father was rightful about being pissed.

Smiling and squeezing my shoulder slightly, Carlisle said, "I'll deal with Newton." then let me go and ushered Esme away.

Renee stood, staring anxiously at Bella. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Bella nodded once, eyes showing nothing at all now.

"O-okay." She walked to the sink and washed out her mug. "Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight." I said while Bella just nodded again. I would've frowned at her if she hadn't just been through so much.

Once I was sure Renee was gone, I turned to Bella, locking her eyes with mine. "Are you lying about being okay?"

Bella just looked impassively at me. She was good, I'd give her that. But I detected a slight twitch around her steady eyes.

I shook my head, totally hindered by her stubbornness. I couldn't likely shake it out of her. "I'm sleeping here tonight. If you need me, holler." She rolled her eyes and I gave her a hard look. "I'm serious. I don't care how you do it get me if you need."

She frowned, but nodded. "Alright, I will."

"Promise." She gave me a _come one_ look. "_Promise_." I insisted.

She groaned. "Fine, I promise. Can I go to sleep now?"

I wanted to say something, anything to get her to understand how serious I was. But didn't know how so I just nodded.

"Goodnight, Edward. And thank you."

I blinked, confused. "For what?"

Chewing on her bottom lip, she looked into my eyes. Her eyes filled with genuine gratitude. "For today. For trying to help get my mind off of...stuff and for pulverizing Newton."

I smiled a little at her saying 'pulverizing'. "Any time. I gotta warn you though."

She raised a brow at me.

I spoke solemnly and willfully. "Next time you go anywhere with me, you're not going to be able to unhinge me from your side."

She pursed her lips at me, looking both amused and annoyed. Mostly annoyed though. "Even at the bathroom."

"Especially at the bathroom." I said vehemently, clinching my fist. Anger assailed me as I remembered what happened to her earlier in the bathroom. Still furious with Mike and myself. "I won't go in, but you better believe my ass will be waiting at the door."

Her look softened as she said, "Whatever floats your boat."

I couldn't help smiling at her. "Get some sleep. See ya in the morning."

She said, "See ya." before she made her way down the hall.

I watched her walk away as the irrational need to follow her and make sure she was safe overcame me. I shook myself. _Of course she was safe_. I thought sarcastically to myself. She'd have a better chance of a piece of a spaceship crashing into her than someone hurting her here. My parents had reinforced this place with leading state-of-the-art security. (They've taken many cases where people had to been hidden and protected.) Physically, she was safe. _And_ would be from this moment forward. I'd make damn sure of that, even at the risk of my own life.

Her mental state was what was worrying me.


	11. Extremely Sad and Incredibly Lost

**Disclaimer:**All recognizable character's are not mine. No copy write infringement intended. I didn't make up the grocery store, wine brand, meal, songs or restaurant that is mentioned in this chapter. They are all real things and are property of their respective owners.

**A/N: **I researched as meticulously as I could but somethings you just can't find things out through the internet. The grocery store is real, but I wasn't sure if they used buggies so I added them because I needed it in the story. Please, look past it if that's not correct.

Don't forget to check out the blog and social networks. All links on FF profile. ;)

* * *

_I stumble throughout the wreckage_

_Rusted from the rain_

_There's nothing left to salvage_

_No one left to blame_

_Among the broken mirrors_

_I don't look the same_

_I'm rusted from the rain_

_I'm rusted from the rain_

_-Rusted from the Rain_ by Billy Talent

(Isabella (Wreck) Swan)

I was sitting. Next to Edward. Viewing the sparkling Seattle skyline again. _When and why had we come back?_ I must of been dreaming. It felt all too real though. The crisp wind from the water stung my face. The wooden dock under me, hard and unyielding. Edward on the side of me calming and reassuring. He was smiling down at me. A smile that you could get lost in. Magical, disturbing powers that smile had.

Suddenly, Edward's hand gripped my knee. Hard. I looked down at his fingers dug into my skin, panic seizing me. I looked up slowly as fear rocked through me. Edward's exquisite face started to contort before my eyes like something out of a science fiction movie. I had to be dreaming. That did not happen to someone's face in real life. Closing my eyes, I commanded myself to wake up. With great hesitation, I peeked through my eyelids. Mike Newton's face was inches from mine. I screamed bloody murder. Laughing harshly, Mike pushed me over the edge and into the water. My question about drowning was about to be answered it seemed. Accept I should've hit the water by now and hadn't. I looked down and saw nothing. Just a black void. I didn't even feel myself falling. Something more along the lines of being suspended. I heard a laugh I knew all to well sound from above me. I looked up, horrified to see Aro towering over me, holding strings. Strings attached to my limbs.

"Dance, pet. Dance." He commanded as he laughed cruelly down at me, moving me about. I was powerless to fight. Forced to watch as my body was tossed and twirled about. "You will never escape me."

I lurched awake, after I hit something solid. I had rolled off the bed, slamming against the titled floor in the process. I rubbed my aching side. Sleep eluded me for days after that. I'd try to sleep but would jolt awake with chocking panic. If I slept, which didn't happen often at all. I spent most nights sitting in the library or laying on the couch in the living room. Looking out the windows to the night sky. The moon was crested but still lovely, emanating tranquility I wasn't feeling.

I spent most the week in a dreary mood. Not caring enough to hide it from anyone. Esme, Carlisle and Renee all tried to talk to me, offering me food and drink while doing so. I refused to eat or speak. As much as they checked up on me, seeming to form a schedule to always have me monitored, none of the three forced me to do anything. The only person that would have hadn't been around, to his great disappointment that he'd verbalized openly and irately to his parents, because he had finals and his school that was a whole ferry ride away from Bainbridge Island. Having to spend the time he wasn't studying or testing finding a new job.

Finally Carlisle broke and called Edward. I eavesdropped on him talking on the phone. "She's getting worse, son. She hardly drinks and doesn't eat. It's getting to the point of hospitalization." I had a fleeting moment of abstract protest, but found myself loosing grasp of caring quickly.

Edward burst into the library almost exactly an hour later—he must of hightailed it here—eyes panicked and infuriated as they took in my drab state of being. My unwashed, mess of hair. My day old, filthy clothes. My razor sharp, jutting cheek bones. My sunken-in eyelids and the dark circles under my emotionless eyes. He closed the door roughly, slamming the thing. Making me jump, I glared at him as my ears rung.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I spat, seething.

He glared at me, blue eyes unyielding. "_Me?_ What's wrong with me? Well, hmm, let me see. How about you lying to me first off?"

I blinked at him, confused and annoyed. "What are you talking about?"

He clenched his fist, visibly trying to control himself as he spoke through his gritted teeth. "You told me you were okay. I didn't believe you but couldn't force you to tell me the truth cause I knew it would only hurt you more. I have to go days without a damn person telling me a fucking thing." He's eyes, glistened with tears as he looked desperately at me. "I can't bear seeing you like this. I'm angry at my parents for not telling me anything and you for letting yourself get like this—I told you to come to me." He said this pointing a finger accusingly at me. It quickly dropped as his face fell, remorse coating his face. "Mostly, I'm furious with myself for being a coward and not doing best by you. I should've stayed by you. Fuck school. Fuck work. You needed me and I wasn't there. I wasn't there..." He trailed off, plunging into the deep end as sorrow took him fully.

The gut wrenching despair I witnessed take over Edward had me breaking free from the coils of shadows I'd wrapped myself so tightly in. I stood up slowly, joints popping in protest. I walked to him, placing a hesitant hand on his arm. He refused to look at me. I saw a tear fall from his check, leaving a tiny dark spot on the floor.

"Please, look at me." I said through a dry throat.

He peeked at me, his eyes a cloudy blue.

"I'm sorry."

He frowned in confusion. "For what?"

"For upsetting you." I murmured. "I don't know what came over me." I shook my head a little clearing away the rest of the fog. Edward watched me intently, giving me his undivided attention. "I never felt like that before. Even through the years with Aro, I'd never felt so disconnected from myself. So far removed and lost." I shuddered as I fully comprehended that it was much worse than what I was disclosing. Sometime, I'm not sure when, I'd felt my soul disappear. Hidden completely away from sight. Perpetually gone. "I never want to go there again." I said hauntingly. "Please forgive me."

Sniffing up tears, Edward gave me a sad, watery smile. "Please don't ever lie to me again. Don't push me away anymore. Please, Bella, let me help you." He fixed me with unrelenting, pleading eyes.

I nodded, dropping my hands from his arms.

His eyes scanned my face with a frown. "You need to eat something. Can I cook for you?"

I blinked up at him. Not expecting that he could cook for some reason. Most likely because I've only ever seen women in the kitchen.

He smiled, a closer version of his bright, beautiful one. "Surprised?"

I nodded simply.

"Well I'm full of surprises." He teased as he opened the door. "I'll look around and brainstorm while you clean up." He looked at me with disappointment, still directed equally at both of us.

* * *

After I showered and wrapped a robe around myself, I grappled with the knots in my hair; a disturbing amount of tendrils stayed clinging to the bristles. I dropped the brush, determinedly ignoring it as I threw my grungy clothes in the hamper. I felt ashamed of how gross I was. I ventured into the huge closest full of clothes that weren't mine.

This was the Cullen's other child's, Rosalie McCarty, room. She was Edward's older sister, by three years, who lived on the mainland with her husband, Emmett and their 4-year-old son, Riley. Since I had only the clothes they'd taken me in, and since me and Rose were the exact same size, Esme said I could wear anything I wanted until we found time to make a shopping trip for me. I insisted that wasn't necessary, that I didn't need her to buy me clothes since she'd offered me such a vast amount of selection already. She frowned slightly but nodded her assent anyway before she excused herself with a smile.

After climbing into a pair of jeans that quickly became my favorites, I pulled on a simple gray V-neck. After slipping on a pair of plain black flip-flops, I looked into the mirror. I so rarely looked at myself, the girl looking back at me was almost completely unfamiliar. Her face completely ashen, looking on the verge of death. Her lips set in a straight line, so tight the skin around them was white from the pressure. Her green eyes flat, lacking any sort of brightness, were the most spine-chilling features. No hope was left in them. No anguish either. Just emptiness. Unable to look anymore, I jerked my head away. I couldn't get away from that room fast enough, nearly bumping into Edward as I rushed into the kitchen.

He held his arms high above his head, still so careful not to touch me—esteeming him even more in my eyes—his usual, wonderful smile illuminating his face again. I'd missed that smile, something I wasn't aware of until now. "Whoa, steady now." He looked around me, chuckling. "Is there a stampede coming?"

I furrowed my brow, but couldn't suppress the smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. "Funny." I said sarcastically, eye roll included. "You should be a comedian."

Laughter danced in his eyes; his mirthful self once more. "Why, thank you."

I walked around him, standing in the middle of the kitchen and raising a singular brow. "Have you come up short on ideas? Do you need my help?"

He smirked, brushing hair out of his eyes. "No. We need to go to the store for what I have planned."

I looked at him suspiciously, doubting seriously that his mother didn't have the freezer, fridge and cabinets stocked efficiently. "Why? Have locust plagued the kitchen while I was in the shower?"

Laughter burst from his mouth as he shook his head. "I'm only missing a few things." His expression sobered as he looked at me. "Plus, I thought it be good for you to get some fresh air."

All I could do was nod to that as the painful, fresh memory of how distressed he was only moments ago assailed me. Torment I had caused with my own selfishness.

He shook himself, clearing his face of any grief and smiling a sad resemblance of the real one before he guided me out of the house. He held the door for me like the gentleman I was sure Carlisle raised him to be.

* * *

It took little time to get to the store, Town & Country Markets the sign read. Grabbing a buggy, Edward leaned agains the rail and pushed it to the building. The place was immaculate and well organized, everything in a order that was easy to utilize. Edward moved towards the spice aisle and I followed. The grand assortment of spices was overwhelming. Edward effortlessly picked and choosed what he needed with little pause.

"Don't you need a list?" I asked, looking in a amazement as he tossed his selections into the buggy.

He shook his head, tapping his finger to his temple. "It's in here. Got a memory like an elephant."

A giggle burst unbidden from my lips. "That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard."

Winking, he pushed the buggy to the fresh produce section. Grabbing garlic, red potatoes and long twisting green beens. The next aisle we ventured to was the wine one. He grabbed a slim, long clear-blue bottle with a silver neck, Badger Mountain written on top a drawing of grapes in big white letter with Certified Organic Vineyard directly underneath in much smaller ones, Riesling written in italics beneath all that.

"For cooking?" I asked, intrigued.

"For drinking." He corrected with a playful grin.

I shook my head, disapproving outwardly. Inwardly, excited about getting loopy. As we walked into the bakery section the pleasing sent of baking bread tickled my nose. After picking small round loaves of white bread and carrot cake Edward made his way to the checkout isle. I struggled to stay with his purposeful steps.

The checkout girl, who looked to be in high school, smiled flirtatiously at Edward. Edward smiled back politely as he handed her his card. The girl's smile fell considerably when her eyes came upon me. I mirrored Edward's smile to mask my grin.

As we exited, Edward pushed the buggy off, jumping up and balancing on the bottom bar. He sailed across a good expansion of the parking lot, laughing carelessly the whole way. I shook my head, laughing as I jogged alongside him. I was glimpsing how he must've been as an adolescent, rambunctious and totally untroubled by the ugly things of the world. So totally opposite of me. I frowned at the thought, my mood dimming a great deal.

Edward caught the shift and stopped, using his foot as a brake. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, closed lip.

Edward gave me a hard look, I stared back unblinkingly. Frowning, Edward jerked the buggy away, putting the groceries in the back with forced calmness. I got into the car, buckling in roughly. Edward got in, slamming the door and making me jump involuntarily.

He winced. "I'm sorry."

I waved off his apology. "It's fine."

He looked as if he wanted to say more but stayed quiet as he threw the blazer into gear, zipping off onto the rood.

An uncomfortable silence fell over us. I glared out the side window, seeing nothing at all. Angry at how vastly different we are. So much so that I felt like busted-up garbage in comparison to his glowing, happy companionship. Angry at Edward for being cross with me for keeping these feelings to myself. I know, I know. I had just promised to stop lying. I wasn't lying though, just keeping it to myself. Me, victor of loopholes. But mostly I was angry with myself. As true as the assessment was, it was pointless to get emotional about it. I'd ruined the perfectly nice time we were having together and that was the must upsetting thing about all this nonsense.

Edward pulled in front of his house and quietly got his things, mood efficiently dampened. I opened the door for him as he murmured his thanks, not meeting my eyes. I could still see the aggravation etching his features. I followed him to the kitchen, standing awkwardly in the threshold. Extracting the wine first, Edward opened it, pouring the pale yellow liquid into sizable wine glasses and feeling them halfway. He offered a glass to me silently. I took it, murmuring my thanks as I sipped the wine. It was different but good. A nice dry, fruity blend slid down my throat, a nice warmth trailing after it.

Sitting at the island, I watched Edward bring a skillet to the stove. He adjusted the heat, measuring spices and pouring them in. After preheating the oven to 350˚, he picked up a parchment package from the sink. Pulling off the tape, he opened it to show a tied-up piece of meat. Beef by the looks of it. He patted dried the meat gently. A popping sound came from the stove, making me jump. I frowned into my wine glass, beyond annoyed at my skittish tendencies. I looked to Edward who didn't even look up from his ministrations, then back to the stove. Worried, but saying nothing. He looked so confident, totally in his element. He was truly full of surprises.

After a couple of minutes, Edward removed the pan from the heat. Pouring the mixture into a bowl and leaving it to cool. Adding oil to the emptied skillet, he left it to shimmer as he grinded the spices. Rubbing the dry rub onto the beef on each side, he transferred it to the hot surface, searing it on all sides. He washed and chopped the red potatoes between the browning of the meat. Transporting everything to a roasting pot, he slid it into the oven and closed the door. Unwrapping the beans, he washed and placed them into a saucepan. Turning the fire on high, he poured water, scooped butter and dashed spices into the pot. He let it sit, taking a generous gulp of wine.

Moving to the cabinet he pulled out simple but pretty white plates, taking out clear water glasses shortly after. Rummaging through multiple draws, he got place-mats, napkins and utensils out next. I noticed that there was only two of each thing.

My eyes snapped to Edward, who was still flittering around the room; collecting different things like a decorative teal bowl, a white ceramic casserole pan, a woven flat basket and fancy silverware. "What about your parents and Renee?" I asked, nervously.

He looked up at me, aggravation replaced by purpose. The determination boiling underneath the surface, unnerving me to no end. "I sent them off. They needed a breather and you needed space."

I gulped, stupidly anxious about being alone with him. I've been with him at a good amount of places, but never without some other human presence. "Oh," was all I could manage.

Something flickered across Edwards face but he was turning and lowering the heat under the beans before I could decipher it. Removing the package of bread from the last grocery bag, he slipped the four loaves on the bottom burner. Turning back to me with no semblance of that fleeting emotion tracing his face, Edward tucked the bottle of wine under his arm. Next he hung the mates and napkins on his forearm. Lastly he grabbed the prearranged stacked plates with the glasses atop them, utensils inside the glasses.

I made a move to stand up. "Do you need help?"

He shook his head slightly, careful not to jolt the load in his arms. "No thanks."

I flopped back down, frowning at his departing back. He'd premeditated this. Undoubtably when I was showering and dressing. The little sneak. I knocked back more wine, wincing. The burn much hasher than before but still divine. A nice floaty feeling began to sweep over me. I absently realized that Edward was taking much longer than he should've, but my head was buzzing too much to care.

Finally, Edward appeared again, walking to the oven that dinged almost exactly at the same time of his arrival. I watched in liquid-dazed amazement, as Edward performed a sequenced dance about the kitchen. Carefully picking the steaming loaves from the oven one by one, lightly he dropped each into the basket. Masterfully, he transported the meat and roasted potatoes from the hot pan to the cool one. Deftly draining the beans and pouring them into the bowl. After shipping the dirty dishes to the sink. He turned to me, offering me the basket. I took it, mouth agape. I hinged my jaw back shut, stepping out the kitchen and into the hall. The delicious, yeasty aroma wafted in my face as I followed Edward into the secluded, quaint dining area. My mouth watered with sudden, feverish hunger.

I stalled as I took in the room.

The lights were dimmed just enough to where you could see. The long table was set to where we both sat in the middle, facing one another. Different assortments of candles flickered about the room. The double glass doors, uncovered. Moonlight flooded the floor. Tranquil ambience flowed throughout the room.

After placing the the pan and bowl down between the our plates, Edward walked to the compact stereo on top of the buffet against the wall. Pulling out his phone, he connected the devices; swiping and tapping his finger around the screen until the soft melody of a acoustic guitar drifted from the speakers, piano keys pinging sweetly in seemingly sporadical order. A male began crooning, his voice having a whisper type quality. So sorrowful. So beautiful. He sang about being weary and confused. As depressing as the melody sounded it had a certain motivation to it. One line stuck out most to me. _Don't let your soul get lonely._ I eyed the back of Edwards head. He'd played that purposefully it seemed. Now the man was singing, _Be here now, be here now._ _Now_ I knew for sure Edward was using this song to speak to me without words.

Turning back to me, Edward cocked a brow, a teeny smile playing with his mouth.

Shaking myself slightly, I walked to the table and sat as I placed the basket in a free space. Lowering himself to the table, Edward grabbed an intimidatingly large knife. He came towards me with the knife pointed right at me. I winced, closing my eyes. I peeked at him, feeling idiotic. He'd frozen, knife pointing down now. His eyes, darker from the lighting, full of repentance. I nodded for him to continue as I polished off my wine.

After he finished swiftly but cautiously cutting the meat into delicate slices, Edward pinned the meat between the knife and large fork, sliding three pieces onto my plate. Scooping up a hefty load of potatoes, he gently let them drop next to the beef. He pinched the green bean delicately between tongs, releasing them to cascade onto the plate. He served himself after, being noticeably less gentle.

His eyes snapped to our empty water glasses once he was finished serving each of us. "Excuse me." He said as he hurried out the room.

I smiled at the comical performance, grabbing a piece of bread with my finger nails.

He literally glided back into the room, ice clinking against the glass, as if he'd run through the hall. His face flushed enough that I could see pinkish-red color his cheeks. He was so ridiculous yet endearing at the same time.

Coming back to the table, he sat and offered me my glass. "Thank you." I murmured.

"You're welcome." He murmured back.

I had no clue why or when we started whispering. Perhaps the atmosphere around us was so hushed and fragile, we intuitively didn't want to ruin. The next song started. It was about a troubled woman, sung by the same man.

"Who is this?" I asked as I cut my meat into smaller pieces.

"Ray LaMontagne." Edward answered, starting on his potatoes.

"I like him."

Edward smiled, candle light dancing in his eyes. "I thought you would." He said that innocently enough, but something in his eyes portrayed his deeper meaning. Something full of...significance.

I looked away as I guzzled down water.

Edward's smiled notched up into an amused, crooked grin but returned to eating silently. Putting down the water, I took a small bite of meat. It was _delicious._ The meat melted in my mouth like butter, every savory piece sliding down pleasantly. I think I moaned, I wasn't sure cause I was too busy shoveling the next morsel in my mouth.

Edward's soft chuckling had me freezing, fork with the last piece stuck to it inches from my mouth. "What?" I asked, frowning. Aggravation swelling.

He shook his head, trying for apologetic but failing miserably as his quaked with bottled up hilarity. My frowned deepened, Edward bit his lip as he fought the brimming laughter. "I'm sorry." He said tightly, actual tears breaking from his eyes.

I dropped my fork down forcefully and pushed myself away from the table. Chagrin by his amusement at my expense. Standing, I wrenched away from the table.

"Bella!" His voice a high-pitch, panicky sound. "Oh, God. Bella, please don't go!"

I ignored him as I kept walking.

Edward rushed after me, blocking the door right before I'd reached it. I stood rigidly, stuck there. Beings that door was the only exit. His chest labored as he struggled for breath. _Served him right_.

"Move." I said tersely.

Edward's troubled eyes searched my face. "Why are you so upset?"

"Why? _Why?_" My voice raised an octave I'd never heard before as my blood boiled, Edward winced. "You made me feel ashamed of how I ate, Edward. Finding yourself throughly entertained by my lack of decorum." My voice lowered apoplectically. "Do you know how demeaning that is?" Full-blown, confused panic widened his eyes as he realized just how bad he'd screwed up. "I'm not usually like that." My voice downcast now. "I was just so terribly hungry and it was very good." I grumbled the last part, hating that I'd ended it with a compliment.

He reached a hand out slowly to touch me but thought better off and let it drop back to his side, face guilt-ridden. "I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, but I wasn't laughing at how you were eating. I promise."

I crossed my arms. Not believing him.

"I swear!" He insisted, seeming wholehearted.

"What was so damned funny then?" I asked, still clinging to the anger in order to keep the hurt at bay.

The words rushed out of his mouth, stumbling over one another to be first. "I was so happy to see you eating and enjoying yourself. You were so impossibly cute I couldn't help but chuckle. Then you're face screwed up adorably in agitation and I was a goner." _Cute? Adorable?_ What in the world was he talking about? How was me stuffing my face like a pig cute? And how was me frowning in anger adorable? He was a screwy one. "I'm sorry you felt degraded. I'm an idiot."

"Yes." I agreed, bafflement taking the place of anger. "That you are."

"Will you forgive me?" He beseeched.

I pursed my mouth in thought, tormenting him a bit. Childishly, I felt the need to punish him for at least a moment. "I guess."

Edward breathed out in relief. "Please, finish supper with me."

"If you laugh at me again, I'll stab you with a fork." I fixed him with eyes that promised violence.

Edward threw his hands up in surrender, eyes serious. "I wouldn't dare."

We stared at one another, waiting for the other to make the first move. Rolling my eyes, I turned away and went to the table. Edward followed closely. We sat down slowly in unison, eyes averted from one another as we ate in thick silence. Edward held up the wine bottle in question after we'd finished. I nodded hastily as I extended my glass to him. He smiled slightly as he poured me as much as he did the last time. I kept my glass out to him when he stopped. He cocked a brow but smiled as he poured more liquid nearly to the top. I quaffed down half the drink. Titling my glass in salute to Edward when I pulled it from my lips.

He mirrored my gesture then threw back the rest of his wine. Pouring himself as generous amount as mine, shaking the last remaining droplets from the bottle. Now Ray was warbling about wild horses. I closed my eyes as I listened to the song, taking in the lyrics. My eyes snapped opened as I heard these words,_ May no man's reign's ever chain you. And may no man's weight ever defray your soul. _I looked accusingly at Edward. _The jigs up_, my eyes projected. He shrugged apologetically without offering explanation.

"Desert?" He asked instead.

With as much and as quick as I ate, I should've been full. But the mention of desert reminded me of the delectable looking cake Edward had chosen. "Yes, please."

Taking our plates off the table, he walked out the room.

I looked out the window. After a strictly instrumental piece, Ray came back on; singing of gentle touches and a worried boy pleading to be with a girl. This man's strong, selfless love for this girl was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. It sounded as if he sang all these songs for the love of his life, so gentle and kind. Ray was another man I put on my mental redeeming-the-male-species list. My eyes drifted shut as I imagined a man kneeling and professing his love as Ray so beautifully depicted, envisioning myself being the woman for a moment. (After all, my imagination was the only place something like this would ever happen.) The man was faceless at first but he swiftly morphed into Edward. My eyes snapped up, daydream dissolving as I fretted over why my subconscious had but his face there.

Edward entered the room with two big slabs of carrot cake right then. I sat rim-rod straight, feeling foolishly guilty. He eyed me suspiciously but just offered me cake silently. "Do you want milk with it?" He asked softly.

I shook my head, voice cracking. "No, thank you."

His brow furrowed, catching that I was distressed about something but not having the slightest clue why, which was more than okay with me. He opened his mouth, a question nearly spilling from his mouth. His mouth snapped shut before the inquiry was release as his eyes looked about the room in an almost lost manner. He was visibly struggling against himself. He wanted to pressure me to answer oh-so-badly, but remarkably restrained himself, obviously not wanting to break what little tranquility was left between us.

"Dig in then." He finally said with a strained smile.

I did, desperate for any reason not to have to speak. I was slow about it though. Taking my time and not making a fool of myself. The cake was amazing. I'd never had many. Any sweets I'd gotten was when I had lived in the center. As grateful as I was for any continuous substance, anything the cafeteria offered couldn't light a candle to this. Sweet and savory fought for a place on my taste buds before thick, creamy icing subdued both into a happy marriage.

I hummed my praise.

"Good?" He asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"Very." I answered, capturing crumbs with the end of my finger to deliver them to my mouth.

"I'm glad." He said, eyes soft as he looked at me. I forced myself not to squirm from his meaningful gaze. Shaking his head a little, he smiled slightly. "There's a patio right out that door with lounge chairs. If you open the door, you can hear the music while you lay down."

I looked to the door then back to him. "Will you join me?" I fumbled on my question, feeling nervous and peeved at myself for asking.

He smiled as something flashed in his eyes. Delight, I thought I saw. "Yes." He promised gently. "But first I have to clean up."

"I can help you."

He shook his head, absolute. "No you won't. You will relax and let me do the work. Please." He tacked on the request as more of an afterthought.

"Fine." I grumbled mulishly.

He smiled brightly, I took a moment to bask in brilliance of it. "Now get." He teased as he nodded towards the door.

I glared at him. He looked back at me impassively as he blew the candles out. Standing abruptly, I stomped to the door, wine glass in hand. I heard Edward chuckle behind me along with the clinking glasses being cleared from the table.

Opening the door, I walked onto the small cobblestone patio as I looked out at the backyard that expanded throughout the entire length of the large house. The oasis I'd witnessed the tabby's dangerous pursuit a week ago tucked in the corner across the yard from where I stood. I lowered myself down on the red, plush lounge chair. Careful not to spill what remained of my wine as I laid back. Once I'd saw there was no more, I'd rationed my wine intake like my life depended on it. I closed my eyes, sharpening my sense of sound. Edward was right, I could hear the music echoing out the door. Loud enough to hear, but quiet enough to forget. I also heard water running and pots clanging and banging as Edward cleaned the kitchen.

How very unaccustomed I was to being the one served. Yes, technically the cafeteria ladies had served me food, but they were payed for that. Besides maybe relieving guilt, Edward was gaining nothing from doing this. I could never hope to explain to him just how grateful and touched I was.

Soon I heard no racket from the kitchen. Craning my neck I looked through the dinning room, Edward still wasn't in sight. Shrugging I laid back straight, closing my eyes again as I took a tiny sip of riesling. Edward's soft clearing of throat nearly had me spitting all my wine. I sat up, eyes bulging out of there sockets as I whipped around. He wasn't behind me or in the dining room. He cleared his throat again. My head whipped towards the deck. Edward was descending the steps, something poking out from under his arms.

"Sorry," He apologized quietly. "I tired not to scare you."

I flopped down, sighing as my heart dropped from my throat. "It's okay. I'm getting used to being jumpy."

I saw a flash of white as he smiled, walking closer to me. "I have something for you?"

I squinted at the thing he was clutching but couldn't figure out what it was. "A present?" I inquired.

He chuckled, putting the thing behind his back now. "Yes."

"_Ooh_, is it a pony?" I asked with fake excitement.

That skidded him to a halt as surprised laughter burst from his mouth. "No." He finally answered when he could manage it. "But I'll be sure to store that wish for later."

I blanched as I dissolved into laughter. "Dear God, don't get me a pony."

"Are you sure?" He asked, very serious.

"Absolutely."

"Okay, if you insist. Here." He offered up the actual gift.

It was more wine.

"Bless you." I praised profusely.

He looked at my still half full glass, eyes widening in surprise. "I was sure you'd have finished long before now."

"I was conserving." I explained, cupping a protective hand around the curve of the glass.

Chuckling he laid beside me on the other lounge chair. "No worries, I have provisions." With that I put away the rest of my precious supply.

Holding the bottle up, I saw that it was the same color and brand as the first one but was shorter and fatter. Narrowing my eyes at the italic word, I read Chardonnay.

"Here," Edward offered a hand up, "let me."

I handed it to him and watched as he twisted the bottle open. Leaning towards each other, I extended my glass as Edward poured me another plentiful amount then duplicating the action for himself.

I tasted the new wine. It had the same crisp fruity blend, but was a bit livelier.

"I like this one _a lot. _Thank you."

"Don't mention it." He said lightly as he placed the bottle on the short, small table between us.

I looked at him, serious. "I don't just mean for the wine. I mean for everything. You've been nothing but thoughtful and caring to me when you didn't have to be."

Edward smiled with a nod. "You deserve it."

I titled my head at him. "Why do you think so?"

Titling his head, he peered at me, eyes earnest. "Beside the fact that all women should be treated with care and respect, you've been through hell and back, Bella. Still with everything you've been through, you genuinely care for others. A surprising amount of people aren't like that anymore. You deserve _more_ than just one meal cooked for you. You deserve security, happiness and someone to cherish you." After finishing that shockingly long and revealing speech, he threw back all of his wine.

I blinked at him. Someone to cherish me? Could he mean him? I looked away frowning as I pulled more wine from the glass. _Of course he didn't._ He was just an impeccably raised boy who turned into a honorable man. It simply grieved him to see such a wretched soul as mine.

I looked to him. He laid, serene as could be, hands holding his empty glass against his flat stomach. Moonlight illuminated his perfect face. He was going to make some woman extremely happy one day, if he wasn't already. That thought upset me more than it should've. I pushed the thought away.

"So where did you learn to cook like that?" I asked, breaking the peaceful silence.

He blinked to me, corner of his mouth lifting. "My ex. She went to culinary school when we were together. She showed me how to cook a few things."

I looked up at the stars. "She taught you well. It was incredible."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome. How long have you been apart?"

"Three years." He answered.

"How long were you together?" I inquired, much more interested than I was showing.

"One and a half years." He poured himself more wine, silently offering me some. I accepted. "It's the longest relationship I've ever been in."

"Did you love her?"

"I did." He said with no hesitation. I felt a strange pang of jealousy at that. _Get a grip, Swan_. Honestly, I had no claim on him and never would so I needed to get over myself.

"What happened then?" I couldn't help but ask.

"She cheated on me."

"I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "It's okay. I've forgiven her. We're friends still actually."

"Really?" I asked, oddly surprised.

He nodded. "Yea. She's engaged now and works as one of the head chiefs at this contemporary Italian restaurant called The Pink Door."

"What's her name?"

"Heidi."

I nodded as I forced myself to say, "Pretty."

He nodded. "She was gorgeous." He stated that in a mater-of-fact kind of way. "But ultimately too wild for me."

I peered at him. "Wild how?"

He shrugged. "She liked to party too much. I like to have a good time as much as the next person, but not every night. She's never been content with staying still for long." He smiled a little. "That's why being a chief's so perfect for her."

"And you enjoy being still?"

He nodded. "She would never do this with me."

I looked away as I smiled into my glass, unreasonably pleased by this information. I should've felt sorry for Edward, instead of happy about the fact that they were so incompatible.

"Do you have..."

"A girlfriend?"

I nodded, refusing to look at him.

"No." He said so softly I could barely hear him.

I looked at him. His eyes were fixed on my face. The blue depths so profound, so open. I found myself being sucked in by them. When he looked at me like that, I felt like everything was going to be all right. That I would never hurt again.

I drained my glass, looking away so he couldn't read my expression. I placed the glass down once it was empty.

"More wine?" He asked.

I shook my head and regretted it, the stars spun and swirled before my eyes. "I think I've had enough."

"Okay." He smiled, pouring himself more.

I blinked rapidly, my eyelids felt suddenly heavy. I yawned, feeling myself slipping into mistiness. I had a moment to think I should go lay in bed but had fallen into a dreamless sleep before I could listen to the silent command.

* * *

**References: **

(Meal and Wine website links on FF profile.)

Songs by Ray LaMontage in the ordered they played:

_Be Here Now_

_ Trouble_

_ All the Wild Horses_

_ Please_


	12. Scary New World

**Disclaimer:** Though the University of Washington is real, obviously Professor Garrett isn't and is also Stephanie's. Again, no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** I also wanted to say, and I know this is rather late, but I've changed Edward and Bella's appearance rather drastically. I hope that hasn't deterred anyone from reading. I just absolutely love Phoebe Tonkin as Bella and Chace Crawford as Edward so I had to go with it. I've actually re-casted everyone for this story except for Bree. You can check them out on the blog link on my FF bio page.

This is a short chapter, but the next one will be posted tomorrow, so worry not. ;D

**Rec**: I've been reading this amazingly, fun story by MazzyStarla called Dress Me Up. Do yourself a HUGE favor and go check it out if you're not already reading it.

* * *

_The only thing I'm sure of is to have no fear at all_

_Just go_

_Keep on rowing on_

_And the only thing that's certain is that sometimes your bond to fall_

_Just go _

_Keep on going on_

_-Tightrope_ by Alex Clare

(Edward)

There was no way in hell I was leaving Bella alone again.

I had one American History written exam left that Garrett was letting me retake. Which was a huge favor I owed him a debt on. I'd damn near got on my knees begging and promising to grade all his lower classes work if he let me retake it, telling him there was an emergency at home with the least amount of information I could give. He agreed without hesitation, my distress alarming and evident to him. He knew it wasn't my blood family that was in trouble but someone—a girl someone—I'd grown to...care about. A friend, I had clarified.

I dragged her along with me to UW, University of Washington, giving her my Kindle Fire to entertain herself with and money to buy whatever she wanted.

I finished in a little over two hours, trying to be quick as I could without being careless. Bringing my papers to Garrett, I went to bolt out of the room.

"Hold up." Garrett called out, chuckling.

I whipped around, cocking a brow.

"Where's the fire?" He smiled, skin crinkling around his brown eyes.

"No fire. See ya." I turned back around.

"Edward," Garrett called, standing.

I halted, craning my neck around to see him. "Huh?"

Eyebrows raised over his black-rimmed glasses. "Is your...troubled friend here?"

Sighing, I nodded.

Curiosity replaced his confusion. "Can I meet her?"

I looked out the door, then back to him. "Um, I guess."

"Perfect." Walking to me, he clapped my shoulder. "Lead the way."

(Isabella (Supervised) Swan)

I didn't particularly want to be seating here, in the student center for hours. But I felt guilty for being the reason why Edward had to make up an exam he would've finished if not for my...moment. The thought of leaving me behind to complete his last final agonized him so much that I'd agreed to tag along, unable to see him suffer for one more second. He'd smiled so brightly I nearly had to shield my eyes.

So here I was, sitting with a half-eaten plate lunch before me and Edward's Kindle on my lap, thumbing through the apps. He had a few games, like solitaire, sudoku and crossword puzzles, but mostly he had books. There was a varying collection of genres, such as mystery, classics and biographies. The genre that seemed to fill most of his Cloud was history—No real shocker there. I picked a book with a black and white picture of a sweet looking little girl, The Diary of a Young Girl the title read, author Anne Frank. I quickly became engrossed in the tragic story, finding tears in my eyes as I whizzed through the chapters.

An unfamiliar clearing of throat nearly had me dropping the Kindle, my eyes snapped up—and had to travel farther up to reach the person's face. It was a male, about my age, give or take a few years. He was dark complicated with arresting features. Eyes dark, yet complexly warm. He had the fullest lips I'd ever seen before, goatee trimming them only bringing more attention to them. He was smiling so big I feared his cheeks would crack. The most open, carefree smile.

I blinked at him, saying nothing.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he adjusted the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder. "I saw you crying and thought what could be upsetting such a pretty girl."

I gaped at him. Clearly, he was flirting with me. I wasn't being conceded, I just wasn't born yesterday and knew what flirting was. Finally collecting myself enough, I lifted the Kindle up. "Just reading," I looked down as I placed the Kindle on my lap, "a very sad story."

"Oh. Phew," He whipped his eyebrow that was lacking any sort of perspiration. "I thought I was gonna have to teach some asshole a lesson."

I couldn't help a small burst of astonished laughter breaking from my throat then, shaking my head. "No. That's definitely not needed."

Pulling out a chair, he sat across from me. "So, whatcha reading?"

I told him the title. "It turned out not to be what I imagined at all."

He looked peculiarly at me. "You've never read Anne Frank before?"

I shook my head self-consciously.

"Wow, usually everyone has to read that in high school."

"I was home schooled." I hardly pulled the lie off. Extremely anxious that this boy with his perspective eyes would catch on quickly that there was something wrong with me.

He nodded, accepting this explanation without any reservations. "So you got to choose what you read?"

I nodded, feeling guilty about lying to this perfectly nice guy.

"Lucky." He extended his hand over the table. "I'm Jacob."

Tentatively, I took his hand. He closed his hand around mine, grip solid and strong. "Isabella."

"Nice to meet you." He said with a slight squeeze.

"You too." I said as I pulled my hand away. He could've easily keep my hand but loosened his hold.

He leaned back. "So do you go to school here?"

I shook my head. "Waiting for someone."

"Boyfriend?" He asked, watching me very carefully.

I shook my head.

He smiled, very happy about this news. "Cool. Are you from here?"

I shook my head. "Phoenix."

"Vegas."

We both have traveled quite a ways.

"So what brings you here?" He asked, as he pulled a sandwich from his book sack.

"Summer vacation." The lies seemed to leave my mouth without any trepidation now.

Jacob smiled, again believing me. "Seattle does have a lot to offer. Have you seen the space needle."

I nodded. "Family friend took me."

"What about Mount Rainier?"

I shook my head.

"It's amazing." Jacob said, eyes excited. "It's a must go. I could take you if you—"

Someone else clearing their throat had both our heads whirling to the side.

It was Edward with a studious looking, kind-faced man beside him. Edward looked to me then Jacob, lips pressed tight. He wasn't necessarily angry but not exactly thrilled either.

"Edward, this is Jacob." I indicated a hand towards Jacob. "Jacob, this is Edward, the family friend."

Edward looked at me oddly for a moment but quickly fixed his surprise, extending a hand to Jacob with a taut smile. "Nice to meet you."

"Ditto." Jacob said returning the gesture. "Well," Jacob looked to me as he let go of Edward's hand, eyes slightly disappointed we'd been interrupted, "Hope I see you around."

"Me too." That wasn't a lie. I really did. But seriously doubted it would happen. "Goodbye."

"Bye." He said with a small wave as he stood up and walked away.

I looked back to Edward. His eyes were glued to the back of Jacob's head.

I cleared my throat. "Finished?"

Edward's attention snapped back to me. "Uh, yea." He shook his head out, clamping a hand on the man's shoulder aside him. "Bella, this is my professor, Garrett Bardell."

I stood, extending a hand to the professor. "Mr. Bardell."

He took my hand with very little pressure, he had the softest hand's I'd ever felt on a man. "Please, call me Garrett. It's very nice to meet you, Bella."

We released hands. "You too. I've heard many good things about you, sir."

Garrett winced with a playful smile. "Esh, sir." He looked to Edward then back to me. "Interesting, cause I know so little about you."

I forced myself not to squirm under this man's astute gaze and smiled instead.

He smiled lightly at me, all inquisition gone from his face. "I hope all is well with you."

I looked to Edward, who shrugged slightly. "Yes, si—thank you."

"Well, I must be going." Garrett said with a genial smile. "Have a nice day, Bella."

"You too." I said, trying to pull a smile from my lips.

Turning to Edward, Garrett laid a hand on Edwards shoulder and murmured something I couldn't hear. Edwards eyes widen slightly, but smiled with a nodded.

With one more wave my way, the professor walked away.

I fixed my eyes on Edward. "What did he say to you?"

"Nothing consequential." He said with an at ease smile. He was lying. I could tell by the way he was rubbing his lips together. He never usually did that, a clear sign he wasn't being truthful.

I squinted my eyes at him and he looked back unaffected by my glare, offering me nothing. _God, how infuriating!_ I stopped myself short, hadn't I done the same thing to him on multiple occasions? Shaking my head, I forced myself to let it go. "Home?"

He shook his head. "Job hunting."

(Edward)

I had boldfaced lied to Bella. Garrett had whispered something specifically about her to me. "I can see why you needed to leave. She seems...fragmented." My eyes widened in shock, I smiled quickly to try and mask it. "Good luck. See you next semester."

She knew it too. I could see it all over her scrunched up face. Miraculously she didn't push further like I knew she wanted to.

Now we were at Charlie's and he was frowning at me.

"I don't know, Cullen."

"Why not?"

He looked pointedly at Sherry.

"I'll reconcile with her. I promise."

He looked doubtful.

I leaned against the bar. "Come on, please. I've applied damn near everywhere and haven't heard from any. I know this place almost as good as you and you know it."

Charlie looked up in thought, twisting his mouth. "I don't have any specific openings for you, besides doing odd and end jobs."

"Perfect." I said eagerly.

Charlie fixed me with his no-nonsense eyes. "You have to be dependable Edward."

"I'm insulted, Charlie." I put a hand to my chest, face hurt.

"Can it, Cullen." Charlie wasn't having it.

I let go of the facade as I dropped my hand. "I'm willing to do whatever. I'm the man for the job."

"Fine." He grumbled then looked to Bella. "What about you?"

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Do you want a job?" He said a bit slower.

Bella looked to me than to Charlie. "Um, are you serious?"

Charlie looked at her as if she'd just asked him if he shit on the toilet. "Yes. I just had to fire a waitress for stealing supplies. I need an extra hand."

Charlie had just granted me the best thing ever. Now, she'd be near more. Causing me less worry through the day. I could've kissed the man. I restrained myself with little force, knowing damn well he'd clock me.

Bella wasn't nearly as excited by this opportunity. Flustered completely actually, looking on the verge of declining.

"One moment." I said, pulling Bella away. "What's wrong?"

She looked up at me with a _really? _look.

"What?" I pressed.

She sighed roughly. "You keep forgetting I don't have a valid ID."

Oh, shit. I had. "That's it?"

She frowned at me. "Yes, _that's it_. Last I remembered, it's a vital commodity."

I waved off her concern. "Carlisle can get you one of those easy."

She looked back to the bar. "What about Charlie?"

"I'll talk to him." I assured.

"Okay." She said with only a little hesitation.

"We're in." I said once we were back to the bar.

Charlie looked to Bella in question, she nodded.

"We've got a small problem though." I began.

"Yes?" Charlie cocked a brow.

"Bella, left her purse in Bainbridge. She didn't know that we were doing anything else." That last part at least wasn't a lie.

Charlie nodded, understanding completely. "That's fine. Just bring it with you on your first shift." He said to her.

"Yes, sir."

Charlie looked to me. "After I figure out a schedule, I'll call you."

I nodded, smiling like an idiot. "Thanks, Charlie. You won't regret it." I said, leading Bella out the bar.

"I better not." I heard Charlie call out.

I called Carlisle as we walked to the blazer.

"Hello." He answered after the fourth ring.

"Hey, dad."

"How was your test? How's Bella?" He fired off.

I chuckled. "Fine and fine."

"Good." He was silent for a moment. "Do you need something?"

"Yes." I said as I opened the passenger side for Bella. "Me and Bella got jobs at Charlie's."

"Wonderful!" Carlisle shared my enthusiasm.

"I know." I agreed as I slid into the drivers side, merging into traffic. "Bella needs a license first."

"Oh." Concern replaced rejoice. "Where are you?"

"Leaving Charlie's."

"Come meet me at the office."

"Okay." We hung up as I merged off of NE 45th street onto I-5 N.

(Isabella (Attended) Swan)

"Here you go." Carlisle said as handed me a manila-folder.

"Thank you." I said as I took it, examining it.

Many different papers were stuffed insides. Even a legit Foss High School Diploma and transcripts. A valid identification card on top of everything. My emotionless picture looked blankly back at me. My height, weight and age were correct while my address and name were not. According to this card I was Annabella Malster from Tacoma.

The strings Carlisle's had at his disposal scared me.

"I get the location, but why the name change?" Edward asked his father.

Carlisle hesitated, looking troubled.

I knew the reason long before Edward had even asked. "Aro."


	13. Sense and Agitation

_It's down to this_

_I've got to make this life make sense_

_Can anyone tell what I've done_

_I miss the life_

_I miss the colors of the world_

_Can anyone tell where I am_

'_Cause now again I've found myself_

_So far down, away from the sun_

_That shines into the darkest place_

_I'm so far down, away from the sun again_

_Away from the sun again_

_-Away From the Sun_ by 3 Door Down

(Edward)

I looked to my dad, then to Bella, then back to Carlisle. "_What_?"

Bella began to answer oh-so-calmly. "I said—"

"I know what you said." I cut her off. "I'm confused because this seems to be old news to everyone but me."

"How did you know, Bella?" My father asked with surprised confusion, a little guilt underneath too. He was hiding something.

She shrugged. "Cause I know Aro. He killed those girls specifically to send me a message. He won't be happy till he's completely destroyed me."

Carlisle blinked at her.

I turned fully to her, anger spiking. "Why didn't you say anything?"

She just looked at me. "Cause you never asked."

I frowned at her, but turned to my father instead of pointlessly arguing with her. "How'd you know?"

He looked to Bella, then me; obviously fighting with himself. Finally he pulled something out of his desk draw and handed it to her. It was a small piece of paper. Bella read it silently with no expressions running through her face at all. "I figured as much." She said flippantly, looking up from the paper.

"Can I see?" I asked with faux calmness, holding my hand up.

She gave it to me. The note was short but ominous as hell.

My head snapped up. "This," I shook the paper, "doesn't seem like something that needs to be dealt with right the fuck now?" I asked accusingly at Carlisle. I usually was never stupid enough to cuss in front of my father, especially around a lady, but I was too pissed to care.

Carlisle gave me a deadpan look, choosing not to reprimand me for my profanity. "We have been trying to _deal_ with it, son. If Aro was that easy to find he'd be well behind bars by now. I just didn't want to alarm or scare Bella any more than she needed to be. She's safe."

"_Safe_?" My voice was rising, I couldn't help it. "Really? You honestly thinks she's safe roaming around Seattle with that dickhead lose?"

"We've taken every single precaution we can to insure her safety. This isn't my first rodeo, son." Carlisle's face stayed calm while Bella watched blankly as if we were speaking sports instead of her livelihood.

I shook my head out roughly. "I know that." I grumbled.

Putting his hand on my shoulder, Carlisle said gently, "Listen, I know you're worried and want to help, but you're helping Bella more than the rest of us."

I frowned up at my father. "How you figure?"

Carlisle looked to Bella, eyes sorrowful and hopeful at the same time. "For a moment, I feared she wouldn't come back. But you came home and we saw instant changes—for the better. That's not something to dismiss, son."

I looked to Bella, she was still too skinny, but _much_ healthier than she was days ago. Still her eyes had lost what little light they had, but I refused to believe that life would never come back into them. As better as she was doing, Bella still had so far to go. Would I be able to help her? I'd try with every thing I had. But if I was being honest with myself, I was scared shitless that I wouldn't be enough. I could show her that life was worth living for and how to enjoy everything it had to offer. I could be a calm, understanding presence for her. But I could never even hope to help her deal with her past, help her face her demons and rebuild herself. I looked to my father, who looked onto me with such confidence. Now I had the weight of failing him along with Bella pressing against my chest.

_Why?_ That selfish portion of my brain kept asking. _Why burden myself? _I wasn't blowing smoke up Bella's ass at Charlie's the night that small-dick-mother-fucker, Mike Newton had tried to rape her. I meant what I had said. Just couldn't help remembering how much simpler my life was only weeks ago. Any misgivings that may have built up in my head, vanished the moment I look at her. I don't know what it was exactly that happens, but some unworldly, almost serene, certainty comes over me when I see or am around her. That's not to say that she didn't equally infuriate me. It seemed to be her a daily mission actually.

I'd rather have her rile me every hour than _ever_ see her like I did the other day. The moment I saw her I made a silent, bonding vow to myself to never let her get like that again. I'd slap her silly first. I wouldn't care what anyone thought. Anything was better than the lifeless shell she'd become that was now scorched into my brain. The image plaguing my memory from dusk till dawn. It wasn't just the fact that she wasn't eating, though that sure didn't help. Something fundamental had broken inside of her. She'd simply given up. Stopped fighting completely. And her eyes, _God_, her eyes were the most heart-wrenching thing. The most beautiful shade of green I'd ever seen, totally lost of any sign of life.

I shudder inwardly at the thought. _No_, I would rather skewer my own balls than ever see her like that again.

* * *

We walked around Myrtle Edwards Park, only a couple of minutes away from my parents office. I couldn't drive any longer. I needed to think. Wrap some stuff around my head. I was still extremely aggravated about everything. I knew me throwing a fit about it wouldn't help a thing though. So I took Bella here. To the long park that was only eleven minutes from the ferry boats, walking around aimlessly, trying to cool down.

"Are you angry with me?" Bella finally broke the silence by asking.

I blinked at her. "Of course not."

She looked at me, tilting her head. "It seems that way."

Shaking my head, I stood on the rocks by the water. The boats were blurry as I stared out, my vision not focused on anything in particular. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the whole situation. When I finally feel like you might have a small chance, something like this happens. It's not fair." I trailed off.

Bella stood next to me. "Life's not fair, Edward."

"It should be." I grumbled as I threw a pebble in the water.

Bella nodded. "I know, but it isn't."

I looked to her. "I believe in karma though. Aro has a special kind of fate waiting for his ass."

"Do you believe so?" Bella asked, doubtfully.

I nodded, sure. "Absolutely. When all you do is contribute evil to the world, life has a way of dealing it back to you tenfold."

Bella looked up into the blue, clear sky. "That's a nice notion."

I stood up straighter, voice more intense than I intended. "It's more than a notion." She blinked back down at me. "It's a promise, Bella."

She frowned in confusion, but stayed silent.

I continued, feeling more and more purposeful with every word. "I will make sure of it."

She just looked at me. "How do you hope to do that?"

I thought about it, not feeling nearly as confident anymore. An idea snapped in my head then. "By helping you learn to defend yourself."

Uneasiness traced her eyes. "How, when and where?"

"Now, down the road and you'll have to wait and see."

* * *

Minutes later, we pulled into Eclipse Guns.

"What is this place?" Bella asked, eyeing the building.

"A gun store and range." I answered, watching her.

Her eyes snapped to me. "You want me to use a gun?"

I nodded. "You don't have time to learn to defend yourself with your body so a gun is the best option."

Her eyes were wary. "I'm not sure about this."

I turned off the engine and looked at her, waiting for her to look at me before I spoke softly. "Nothing will hurt you in there. They'll only help you, start you off slow and easy. If you're not comfortable, just say the word and we're gone."

I waited patiently as she struggled inwardly. Finally she let out a shaky, "Okay."

"Perfect, let's go." I said, damn near jumping out the vehicle and rushing to the building, before she changed her mind.

Entering a side door to the building, I leaned against the desk and smile at the receptionist. She was a girl, a couple of years older than me, with short black hair and horn rimmed glasses. "Hey, Charlotte."

She beamed up at me. "Edward! Long time no see. What've you been up to?"

I smiled. "You know, a little of this and a little of that. Same old, same old." For the first time ever I had to fake an at ease attitude.

"Lottie, this is Bella. Bella, Lottie."

Charlotte extended a hand, smiling brightly at Bella. "Hello. It's great to meet you. Edward's never brought a girl here before."

Bella looked at me curiously as she shook Lottie's hand. "Nice to meet you too."

I ignored her look. "So, where's Peter?"

"Out back. I'll text him." Charlotte hunched over her phone, fingers typing furiously. "He'll be out in a moment."

I nodded, leading Bella to chairs backed against a wall.

"You come here often?" Bella asked.

I looked to her. "I used to a lot in high-school and little at the beginning of college, with my dad."

"What happened?"

I shrugged. "We both got busy."

Bella nodded, accepting that answer and letting go of her inquisition.

About ten minutes later a tall, scrawny guy came out the back.

I stood, Bella mirrored me but stayed a little behind me. "Peter." I called.

Peter smiled, jubilant as ever. "Edward, my man. What you doing in this neck of the woods?" He asked as we clapped each other backs in a rough half hand shake, half hug.

Pulling away, I stepped to the side so he could see Bella. "We were in the neighborhood. Bella's never shoot a gun before. So I knew she needed the best shot in the city to teach her."

Peter smiled at Bella, offering a hand out. "It'd be my pleasure." Releasing her hand, Peter looked to me. "When do you want to schedule?"

"Now would be preferable?" I answered, unable to mask the urgency in my voice.

Peter studied me for a moment, then nodded as he made his decision. Walking to the desk, he leaned against Lottie's desk like I had. "Can you reschedule my next appointments?"

She looked over at use, then questioningly to Peter but finally nodded. "Sure."

He smiled, as he kissed her on the mouth. "Thanks, babe." He turned to us. "Follow me."

I waited for Bella to go first, then followed them through the double doors. Walking down the hall, we passed numerous doors. Peter stopped at the second to last door to the right, opening it and holding it for us to go in. This room held two target areas. After Peter handed me a 9mm pistol, I took the one to the left as Peter and Bella took the one to the right.

Putting on the thick headphones, I got in the proper stance. Pointing the gun out, I sighted as I let all the breath out of my lungs. My vision tunneled as severe concentration took hold. I aimed for the head, imagining Aro even though I didn't know his face. As I fired off shots, Bella's tortured face came to my mind. I kept shooting as I thought about what that faceless shit had put her through till I ran out of bullets.

Putting the gun down, barrel facing the targets, I looked to the wall. The face was completely obliterated.

(Isabella (Nettled) Swan)

Holding that gun was the most exhilarating thing. I've never felt safer. More...powerful. Everything subsided as my hands gripped the handle. Nothing was important, not even my own sense-of-self. All that matter was the target before me and the bullets locked and loaded, reading to be fired with a simple pull of the trigger. I emptied the magazine. I didn't hit any of the kill zones. Hell, I hardly hit the paper.

"It's okay." Peter encouraged. "Here, try again. This time breath and steady yourself. Don't rush, you have all the time in the world."

I did as he instructed. Breathing slowly, I aimed as I counted back from three. I took a shot and actually hit inside the black of the body outline. I made all the bullets in or around the body breathing, aiming and counting. One on the head. Each and everyone going in the general direction I aimed.

I looked back to Peter once I was done. He smiled approvingly. Edward came around the small wall separating us. "Nice." He said, looking at my target.

I nodded, half smiling.

"Good job, Cullen." Peter's astonished voice sounded behind me.

I looked to Edward's target with a gapping hole where the head should've been. My wide eyes snapped back to him. He shrugged as he addressed Peter. "Thanks, Pete."

"She's a natural." Peter said, winking at me.

Edward looked to me, something unsettling in his eyes. An idea was forming in that brain of his. "That's good to hear." He looked to Peter. "I'd like to buy one in her name."

Peter seemed indecisive, looking back and forth between us. But finally he shrugged. "Okay. You know the way. Marcus will set you up."

I whipped around to Edward. "I'm not ready."

"Excuse us." Edward said amicably to Peter as he nodded at me to follow him.

I stomped out the door and down the hall, Peter stayed behind as he cleaned the earpieces. I turned back to Edward so fast I was surprised my head wasn't spinning. "I understand you're worried, but this is getting ridiculous." I hissed. "I've only ever held a gun for the first time today and now you're all willy-nilly to buy me one?"

Edward nodded, calm and certain. _Bullheaded mother—_"Peter's showed you gun safety, right?"

"Right?" I answered slowly, worried about where this line of questioning was going.

"You know how to aim, load and shoot one, right?"

"Load and shoot, definitely. Aiming's still a work in progress."

"Then you're ready. We'll come back of course so you can practice more."

I frowned. "This is insane."

"Yea, well, insanity seems to be the norm around here lately." Edward grumbled as he walked out the door and down another hallway, leading to a sign that said gun store above the door.

Edward held the door for me, I walked through it and froze.

The room was petrifying; packed full of different types of weapons. Some things on display didn't even seem legal to sale. I looked back at Edward over my shoulder, yearning to push through him and get far away from this room. I tried to talk myself out of my panic, hollering and screaming at myself not to be such a baby. But nothing worked. Every direction I looked remembered me of Tubby holding a gun to my chest.

Edward's face softened, eyes a soothing ocean. "You're safe. I promise."

Straightening, I strode forward with purpose. I didn't stop until I got to the glass display with a man standing behind it who was helping another customer.

"One minute." He's gruff voice said to us before he focused back on the first customer.

I had a hard time not staring at the worker. He was gigantic with gray hair and Mutton Chops, decked out entirely in leather.

After ringing up the customer, he looked back to us. He squinted at Edward. I wouldn't have been able to stand still under those sharp, hard eyes. The man's gaze didn't bother Edward a bit. At least not outwardly. "You Cullen's boy, ain't you?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good man." The man said, nodding. "What can I do for you?"

"She needs a gun." Edward indicated a hand towards me.

"Got just the thing." The Son's of Anarchy wannabe walked down the glass display. "Here." He said, stopping and pointing down.

I looked down once we were in front of the man. I might as well have been looking down into a brain. That's how clueless I was. They all basically looked the same to me. Except some were longer and bigger. Other than that, I didn't know the difference.

Edward took the lead. "Can we check out that one?" He asked pointing at one of the smaller ones.

The man nodded, unlocking the back and pulling it out. He tried to hand it to me, but I just stared at it. Cocking a brow at me, eyes reading _weirdo_, he finally handed it to Edward. Taking it, Edward inspected the gun.

"That's a Kel-Tec P-3AT. Lightest .380 Auto pistol ever made(1). It's an up close and personal weapon, strictly for defense."

"Exactly what we need." Edward said, handing me the gun.

I looked at the gun, then back to him. He stayed with his hand out as if he could be there all day. Throwing him a frown, I put both my hands out. Edward placed the gun in my palms with minimal skin contact. The gun was light, especially compared to the one Peter had me shoot.

"Could you manage it?" Edward asked me softly. "Are do you want to keep looking?"

I shook my head, swallowing hard as I kept my palms up. _Was I really doing this? _"No, this is fine."

With a relieved smile at me, Edward took the gun and handed it to the man. "Wrap it up, please."

Taking the gun, the man looked between us the same unsure way Peter had. "Has she handled one before?" He addressed Edward as if I wasn't standing right there. I didn't mind, wasn't as if I could form many words at the moment anyway.

Edward nodded, smiling easily. "Yes. Peter showed her. He said she was a natural."

"Okay." The man said with supposition clear in his eyes as he put a clip and the gun in a box. Slipping the box in a plastic bag, he handed it to Edward. "It'll be three hundred and eighteen dollars."

I blanched while Edward handed Marcus a silver credit card. "Thanks, Marcus." He bid farewell as he took the receipt and walked out the building.

I followed behind him in stunned, outraged silence.

* * *

"How can you drop money like that?" I grilled him the moment our butts hit the car seats. "You're between jobs."

"I am." Edward admitted as he pulled out the driveway. "That was my father's card."

My brow furrowed. "Does he know you have it?"

Edward's eyes snapped to me briefly, I could still see the hurt in them. "Of course. _He_ told me to do this."

"When?" I asked suspiciously. Feeling stupid and angry for not being aware of this.

"While you were taking your ID picture." He said cautiously.

"So you knew about Aro's threat while you were pretending not to?" I asked accusingly.

"_No_." He answered immediately, eyes projecting honesty. I knew him for the sneak he was though. "I swear." Edward pressed, seeing my disbelief. "Carlisle handed me the card and whispered, 'Get her _whatever_ she needs.' Urgent as hell. It didn't hit me until we were talking on the beach what he was talking about." Edward shook his head, small rueful smile tugging the corner of his lips. "My father's always had a natural talent for being obscure."

I fumed as I turned my head away from him. I believed him but was still too mad to even look in his direction. "I'm paying him back." I finally said after a _long_ moment of tense silence; my ears burning around the edges.

"That's not necessary." Edward disputed.

"Yes. It. Is." I said tightly.

"Fine. Okay. Jeez." Edward said testily, frowning out the window. Feathers completely ruffled by my stubbornness. _Hah_. I thought smugly_. What goes around comes around, Cullen_. Karma for once my friend, instead of foe.

I looked down to the box. "It says 'concealed carry' on here."

Edward's less aggravated eyes flickered to me then back to the road. "Yea, it's easy to hide on your person. But until we get you're concealed weapons permit, you can keep it in sight."

My eyes snapped to his side profile as my ears burned. "Concealed weapon permit?"

He nodded. "You can only apply at first. It'll take 30 days for you're background check to clear." I went to say something but Edward beat me to the punch. "Don't worry, Esme and Carlisle have people on it."

"When will I apply?" I asked warily, aggravation peeking. Karma turning her bitchish back on me.

"Now."

"Great." I grumbled. _Would the surprises ever end_? I sincerely hoped so.

(Renee)

After vigorous debating with myself and Esme's exuberant encouragements, I finally re-called Charlie. Then hung up once I heard the ring tone. I redialed his number ten times before I finally stayed on the line, shaking as I hummed a pointless tune in my head.

"Hello." Answered Charlie's low, gravely voice.

"Hi." I squeaked.

"Renee." His voice cheered. "I've been waiting for you're call." He chuckled. "I was worried you weren't going to for a second." I cringed, I had waited far too long to call him back. A week too long. But with the state Bella was in I couldn't even think about leaving, let alone going on a date.

"I'm sorry." I apologized quickly, rattling my brain for an excuse. "I've just had a lot going on." Lame, as far as excuses went, but I could hardly stay still let alone think.

"No worries. So are you up for a date now?" He asked, hopeful. Not a trace of worry in his voice.

I took longer than I should've to answer, words clinging to my tongue. "Um, yes." I finally let out.

"_Great_," He's excited voice exclaimed. "Do you like to dance?"

"Uh," I started hesitantly, anxiety spiking. "I'm very rusty."

"Now, I didn't ask that." He chided playfully. "I asked if you enjoyed it."

I breathed out slowly, forcing myself to relax. "Yes, I enjoy dancing very much."

"I thought you would." His voice was so confident and affable. "How's Friday?"

"This Friday?"

A low chuckled traveled through the earpiece. "Yes."

"That's in two days." My voice raised slightly as my anxiety spiked again.

He voice was unruffled as he asked. "Is that not a good day for you?"

"_No,_" I answered too fast. I winced as I heard him chuckling again. "I mean no," I said much slower. "I just had a moment. Friday's fine."

"Great. There's this place called Century Ballroom, it's got good food and the best dancing in town." Excitement was clear in his voice. "I'll pick you up at 7. What's your address?"

I shook my head that he couldn't see as I said hastily. "That's not necessary. I can meet you at the bar."

"Uh, I'm not sure." Charlie's said, chivalry that seemed to be extinct now taking hold.

"I insist." I said, making my voice steady.

"Okay," Charlie agreed reluctantly. "If you insist. I'm looking forward to Friday, Dwyer."

"Me too." My voice shook at the end as we hung up.

Esme helped me get ready, lending me a violet quarter-sleeve, flowy dress that should've been knee length but stopped at mid-calf on me and a pair of black peep-toe heels (by some miracle we had the same shoe size), fixing my hair and makeup. She looked at me once she was finished with the last bit of blush. "You look beautiful, Renee."

I looked in the mirror. I've never thought of myself ugly, but found beautiful to be a stretch. "Thank you." I said anyway.

Esme surprised me by giving me a tight hug. "Have fun, you deserve it."

Again I wasn't sure I deserved anything, but I smiled as we pulled away. "Okay."

* * *

"This place is great." I said to Charlie as I took in the place. The room was grand with tall walls trimmed in gold and red velvet curtains. A balcony traced the entire wall. Light up stage before a sizable wooden dance floor full of moving bodies.

We had just finished good food and conversation at the ballrooms restaurant, The Tin Table. Charlie was witty and relaxed throughout supper, it was impossible not to enjoy myself with him. I laughed so much, my abs were definitely going to hurt in the morning. And to think I'd thought I'd lost the ability to have fun. Now we were making our way onto the dance floor. I was nervous as hell, but the wine slushing in my stomach and buzzing in my head granted me some courage.

"I know." Charlie said as he smiled at me, handsome face glowing as he swept me onto the dance floor.

The band was strictly instrumental. They were lively and good, beat and melody easy and fun to kept up with. I looked at Charlie as he twirl and tipped me then brought me back to him, amazed that he had such talented moves. My body sang with excitement. Amazement turned into something else as I got trapped in his heated eyes, still gilding about the dance floor. Something...heavier. Something erotic. My breathing labored as my body took on a floaty feeling.

Snaking a hand around my lower back, Charlie pushed us closer, stomachs and chest pressing. A small gasp escaped my lips as a slow smile crept up his mouth. His eyes promising so much; affection, understanding and desire among other things. The desire was both alarming and thrilling.

We stared into each other eyes as we dance the night away.

* * *

I looked up was we walked up to Charlie's bar door past midnight. The bar was still open with subdue music playing through the windows. "Do you live here?"

Charlie nodded with pride. "Yup. Upstairs apartment."

I looked back down at him, nerves over-riding buzz. "I had a wonderful time, Charlie. Thank you."

He stepped a little to me, finger tracing up and down my forearm. "No need to thank me." He peered into my eyes. "Do you want to come in for coffee?"

Swallowing hard, I nodded wordlessly.

Entwining our fingers together, Charlie lead me around the back of the building to the stairs.

His apartment was small but well kept. Kitchen and living room joined, hall leading off to one bed and bath. _Bachelor pad,_ the place announced. I sat on the threadbare, comfortable plaid couch while Charlie tinkered around the kitchen.

"Have you always lived in here?" I inquired with fake causality.

"No." Came his answer.

I half turned around on the couch. "How long have you?"

Charlie pondered that as he pulled out a box Nilla Wafers. "Nine years."

"What changed for you?" I asked, tracing the lines in the fabric.

"Sugar cube?" He asked as he poured our coffee. Cutting off my inquisition for the moment.

"Yes, two, please."

"Milk?"

"A little, please."

After fixing and mixing our coffee's, Charlie tucked the cookie box under his arm and came met me on the couch.

"Thank you." I said as I took the coffee he offered me.

"You're welcome." He said as he lowered himself on the couch.

"So what happened?" I asked again as I blew stem from the top of the coffee.

"Divorce." He said simply, no bitterness lurking under the surface, as he dug a cookie out of the box and dipped in his coffee. "Do you want one?" He asked before popping the soaked cookie into his mouth.

My eyes lingered on the way his lips moved as he chewed. I shook myself mentally, trying to get a grip and failing. "No, thank you."

He shrugged as he got another cookie.

"What caused it?" I asked.

"You know how burning passions go, blazing hot one moment and glacier the next." I nodded, not really knowing from expression what he was talking about but being to embarrassed to admit it.

"How long were you married?"

"Twenty two years."

"Do you have any children?"

He nodded. "One. His name's Jared."

"How old is he?"

"31."

I blinked at a lost for words as the easy math equaled in my head.

Charlie smiled lightly. "Yes. Her pregnancy was why we married."

"You felt duty bound?"

He took a thoughtful sip of coffee. "To an extent yes. I still loved Georgina and did many years after that. It was when Jared left to be a marine biologist that we started having problems."

Setting my half emptied coffee down, I turned more towards him and laid a tentative hand on his knee. "What kind of problems?"

"I never satisfied Georgie." He answered, eyes distance as if remembering the past. "I was never what she wanted, being from the other side of the tracks and having little to offer. She told me when she gave me the papers that she'd never really loved me and had only stayed all this years because she had no other choice." Hurt scratched at his voice, eyes watering. "I moved out of San Francisco to here before the divorce was even finalized."

I squeezed his arm, wanting to find Georgi and beat her ass. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and half smiled. "No worries. It's in the past and I've dealt with it."

I loosened my grip on his arms, but kept my hand there. "How is you and Jared's relationship?"

Pure joy washed away all remnants of grief as he talked about his son animatedly. "Never better. Jared's always been a good kid, mild mannered and thoughtful. I honestly have no clue where he got it from. I was hellion and Georgi a hell raiser. He's the reason I'll never regret being with her."

Watching him talk so fondly of his son was a huge turn on. "That's sweet."

"Enough about me." He said as he lowered his mug. "What about you?"

"Uh," I stiffened, feeling anxious again. "There's not much to tell."

He massaged my rigid hands. "Relax." He smiled warmly. "Have you ever been married?"

I shook my head.

"Serious relationship?" He asked.

I shook my head.

He watched me carefully. "Any kind of relationship?"

I thought really hard, pushing through the murky memories. "I've dated but nothing serious enough to remember."

"Are you..." He trailed off.

"A virgin?"

He cleared his throat. "Yes."

"No. It's been a while though."

He nodded, no judgement readable on his face. "What kept you from being serious with someone?"

I paused, debating on disclosing everything to him. "Work, mostly." Was all I'd planned on saying but the way he was looking at me had me wanting to spill my guts. "There's this girl, from Phoenix. Her name's Isabella, Bella. I found her when she was 9. I'd walked upon a group of children and knew they all lived on the street. They all ran away before I could catch up, except her. When I finally could get her to calm down, I brought her into the center I worked at. She did so amazingly well for years, until her parents came. They were sneaky and resourceful for being a bunch of junkies." I said with a bitter taste in my mouth. "They tricked everyone, sailing her off to be a slave nearly right away. When I finally found her after 8 years of persistently searching, it was too late. She's been so irrevocably damaged and it's my fault." Tears trailed down my cheeks. "She'll never forgive me and I don't blame her."

Wiping tears away with a gentle finger, Charlie murmured. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I knew something was deeply troubling you, but didn't want to push it out of you." He tugged me onto his lap, I crawled awkwardly until we both found a comfortable place. Laying my cheek on his chest, I sighed as some of the sorrow subsided. "What happened to Bella is terrible, but it's not your fault."

I scoffed.

"I'm serious." He held me at arms length, eye steadfast. "You trusted people. They broke your trust. That's not your fault. Did you evaluate her parents personally?"

"No." I answered, voice shaky.

"Then if anything, the person who did is partially to blame."

"But I should've checked—"

"Is that you're job?" He pressed, eyes never leaving mine.

I stared unblinkingly back. "No."

"Then you shouldn't blame yourself. You were betrayed as much as Bella. You're a good person, Renee."

"How are you so sure?" I asked, skeptical. "You hardly know me."

"Because if you weren't you wouldn't have spent years trying to help neglected children or trying to find Bella. You wouldn't be letting grief for the wrong doings to Bella eat at you. Bella will come around."

I tilted my head at him. "How are you so sure?"

"Because I've met and hired her."

I blinked in surprise, rendered speechless.

He continued. "Again, I could tell she was also deeply troubled. And I figured out once I saw both of you with Edward and how similar the wounds in your eyes were that you had shared some past tragedy. I'd never imagined something as awful as what you've told me." He shook his head out. "Back to my point, as violate and damaged as Bella is, I still see understanding and reason in her. She'll forgive you, trust me."

"Okay." I said, still not completely sure, but more...hopeful of the future.

"You're a good man, Charlie."

"You're a good woman, Renee."

I dipped, pausing inches away from his face. I searched his eyes. They were inflamed but steady. _I want this, but I can wait if you need_, they projected silently. That look was enough for me. I brought my lips to his softly. With a sharp intake of breath, Charlie's control broke as his hands tangled in my hair. I sighed as I got lost in the kiss. As I got lost in this beautiful man.

The kiss grew in intensity as our shirts went bye-bye; pent-up sexual frustration bursting out of me with a vengeance.

Charlie tore his mouth away, breathing in harsh, sharp breaths.

I whimpered against his neck and he chuckled hoarsely. "We should stop."

"We shouldn't." I disagreed, kissing my way down his neck to his shoulder.

He growled lowly as he struggled to get words out. "Renee, if we don't stop, I won't be able to control myself."

I pulled away and gazed at him. "Then don't."

His pupils dilated in desire as he stood abruptly. We ran to the room like a bunch of teenagers as we threw off clothes.

Charlie made love to me all night like no man ever had.

* * *

**References: **

(1) look to FF bio page for Kel-Tec gun website.

**A/N: **The gun store is not real but the ballroom is. I made up the gun range because there were no real ones close enough that I liked to the other locations Bella and Edward were at in this chapter. I loved the ballroom so much I had to use it. The only problem I had was I wasn't sure if it was strictly used for dance classes and events or if they had weekly dances. So I just went with it cause the place was perfect for Renee and Charlie. Please look past any mistakes. Or if you're aware of certain facts, please share. :D

Loves,

Phee


	14. Confessions of a Free Woman

**A/N:** The time frame between UW finals and graduation are most likely not correct, please forgive the mistake.

* * *

_Yeah_

'_Cause we are broken_

_What must we do to restore_

_Our innocence_

_And oh, the promise we adore_

'_Cause we just wanna be whole_

_-We Are Broken _by Paramore

(Isabella (Trainee) Swan)

We'd been working at Charlie's for four days now. Edward had gotten the call from Charlie not long after we got back from my...shopping trip. I wasn't as angry about the surprise firearm anymore, but I was still annoyed. Against Edward's wishes I refused to take the gun with me to work. In fact I wouldn't carry it until I could hide the thing. And nothing Edward said would change my mind. And, boy, did he try to persuade me. Arguing with me through the whole ferry ride back to Bainbridge that day and well into the night. The only break I got was when I took a bath and even after that he was waiting outside Rose's bedroom door to fire away his vindications. I just looked at him blankly. Knowing good and well how much it would vex him. Finally he gave up in a huff and didn't speak to me until supper time the next day.

He could hold his ground, I had to give him that. But I was much better. He could've not of spoken to me for months and I still wouldn't have budged. It wasn't that I didn't agree with his point of view. In fact, the closer I was to the weapon, the safer I felt. The reason why I refused to be swayed was because this new found freedom was invigorating. For the first time ever I felt like I actually had a choice about what happened to me. And I wouldn't let nothing or no one take that away. Edward only wanted my safety but the basic principle still applied.

It didn't take me long to get a hang of the place after Charlie and his other waitress, Emily, showed me the ropes. Sherry wouldn't give me the time of day still. I didn't mind. The last thing I needed was a unwanted cat fight and I knew that's what it would turn out to be between us with the sporadic dirty looks she'd threw at me.

"How's it going?" Edward asking me snapped me out of my thoughts.

I blinked at him. "Good."

He grinned as he placed a box on the stool, leaning against the bar. "You're 20 minute break's coming up?" We only got twenty minutes because we all worked part-time. Charlie was being charitable according to Emily. I took her word for beings that I've obviously never had a day job.

I nodded.

"Mine too. Wanna go get some coffee with me?"

Sherry's nasty glare over Edward's shoulder caught my eye. I looked to Edward and whispered, leaning over where she couldn't see my lips. "You sure you don't want to take Sherry and...mend things?"

Edward bit his lip in an almost contrite way. I say almost because he only looked sorry about how he treated a girl in general, not Sherry in particular. Yes, I got all this from a look. I'd long ago learned how to read faces. "I should probably squash things between us, huh?"

I just looked at him. "Yes. You should." I looked back at Sherry, who flounced her head away from me, but not without an impressively spiteful eye-roll first. "For all of our sakes."

Edward frowned slightly, inwardly fighting with his conscience. "Fine. I'll ask her. Do you want something?"

I shook my head. I wasn't the biggest fan of coffee and that was putting it lightly. "No, thanks."

"Suit yourself. Later." Edward said with a slight wave as he walked towards Sherry.

I watched as he lightly touched her shoulder, she spun around hostilely. Edward would've been long gone if her eyes were laser-beams.

Some strange envy came over me at seeing him touch her but I quickly shoved it away. Edward wasn't mine and besides I had given him the willies by flipping out every time someone touched me. I still had a problem with it. Mostly, only when someone took me by surprise. Edward was different for some unknown reason. Maybe it was because he warned me ahead of time or was always oh-so-careful around me, or possibly because there's something special about him specifically. All I knew was the only time I didn't constantly feel on high-alert was when I was with him.

Odd, that one boy made me feel so many different things. Exasperated. Somewhat more at ease. Safer. A teensy bit optimistic. Slightly on edge. Oh, and did I mention exasperated? But most importantly, I felt like a human being around him. Like I actually mattered. He didn't degrade me but also didn't pussy foot around me either. A tricky balance that Edward pulled off with seeming ease.

Sherry was having a hard time keeping on her indignant face. She smiled a very small smile at Edward, blinking up at him. Her look just oozing, _How could you not love a face like this?_ I couldn't tell what Edward's was thinking because his back was to me. _Turn around, turn around, turn around,_ I commanded him telepathically. He didn't listen and instead led Sherry out the bar when she finally nodded avidly.

I watched them walk out the door together with a steady, unwarranted sense of dread. _What had I done_? I wanted to slap myself right there for basically guilting Edward into doing it in the first place. If I hadn't opened my big, dumb mouth, it would've been us going together instead of them. At the time, I didn't think it would've bothered me so much.

Was I ever sorely mistaken.

They came back three minutes before the end of break. I was taking a table of four orders, not paying attention to anything but what the two of them looked like. Sherry looked as if she could just skip around for the rest of the day. Either he didn't see me, or was ignoring me, but Edward didn't even search for me. His face completely unreadable. I frowned inwardly, really pissed with myself now.

"Excuse me, miss. _Miss._" Shaking my head I blinked back to the table, looking at them blankly for a moment. I'd completely forgotten where I was.

"I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?"

* * *

"How'd you do on tips?" Edward asked once we were at the front of the ferry on our way back to his parents.

"Fine." I answered shortly.

He looked at me with a puzzled look for a moment, finally he leaned against the frame. "You're lucky. I wish I could go home with cash in my pocket."

I shrugged, not having much to say. My mood had only darkened more through the rest of the shift as I watched Sherry whiz about the bar with the brightest attitude ever. Edward avoiding me at almost every turn accept for now hadn't helped either.

"What's up?" Edward asked, watching me intently.

I shrugged again, feeling annoyed and foolish for being annoyed. As silly as I knew I was being, I still couldn't seem to stop myself.

Edward's eyes widen in realization. "You're mad I took Sherry for coffee."

I frowned at the horizon I wasn't really seeing, lips still clamped shut.

"You are, aren't you?" Edward asked, nonplussed. "You told me too, Bella. It's not fair for you to be pissed about it."

I turned so fast that I nearly bumped into his chest, unaware of how close we actually were. "I'm not mad you took her for coffee." I lied only a little. After all I wasn't mad at _him_ for taking her. "I'm aggravated that you ignored me completely afterwards." That sounded whinier outside of my head.

Edward blinked at me for a moment before looking out to the water, deep in thought. He stayed quiet for so long I thought he wasn't going to say anything at all. Finally he said, "I was avoiding you. I'm not going to deny it."

I couldn't stop the stab of hurt. "Why?" Millions of scenarios ran through my head.

He looked at me, eyes unsure. My apprehension grew to a giant thing with that look. "It went well."

"That's obvious." I cut him off. "And?"

He waited with feigned patience. I shut my mouth, frowning down at the water. At that moment, I vowed to keep my damned nose out of other's business. I was so utterly hating being stuck in this moment by my own doing.

"I told her how upside-down everything's been lately, with minimum to no information about you." Edward said and I nodded, not really caring if he told her all about my sordid past. I just wanted him to get to the freaking point. "She accepted that I wasn't just being an ass immediately." He looked up at the seagulls reflectively. "It was almost as if she'd been anticipating me apologizing the whole time." He looked to me, eyes imploring. What? I wasn't exactly sure. That only elevated my irritation. "Anyway back to why I was avoiding you." My worse fear was about to come true. He'd asked her out. I cringed inwardly as I awaited his explanation. "I felt like I'd betrayed you." I knew it—_Wait._

"What?" I asked incredulously, completely stunned.

Edward looked so deeply in my eyes. I wondered absently what exactly he was looking for. "I'm a coward, Bella." He finally looked away from me, looking down as he pushed his knuckles against the bar. "Instead of telling her that I just wasn't into her that much, I used you as an excuse. That's not fair or right." He finished off lamely, looking uncharacteristically downcast.

Relief took over every piece of my body. "Is that it?"

Edward's eyes snapped to me, blinking in confused shock. "Yes, _that's it_." He answered a tad sarcastic. "What else were you expecting?" He asked, intrigued now.

It was my turn to look away. "Nothing...Just not that." I looked to Edward. "Really, what you told her wasn't that far away from the truth. After all, I have monopolized most of your time." I said that last part apologetically.

Edward tilted his head as he studied my face. My skin vibrated with anxiety while outwardly I tried not to show how flustered I really was. Finally Edward smiled slightly, a dim comparison to his usual beaming ones. "That's besides the point, Bella. _I _chose to help you. You never made me do anything."

"I know." I muttered, not really feeling that way. A thought abruptly hit me. "What was she so happy about?"

Balancing his elbows against the rail, Edward scratched his head with both hands and looked at me sideways. "She asked if me and you were together and I said no."

Though the statement was true and meant to be harmless, a strange, sharp pain still stabbed at me. I nodded indifferently anyway. Year's of fine-tuning my acting skills paying off. "Did you leave the possibility of you two being together open?" This part was so far away from being my business, but I couldn't help but ask.

"I don't think so." Edward straightened. "We're almost there. Let's get to the Blazer."

I followed behind him, brain going a hundred miles per hour. _He didn't think so? _What was that suppose to mean? You either knew or you didn't._ Were all boys this complicating? _

"How aren't you sure?" The question left my mouth before I'd even finished closing the door.

Edward waited to answer the question—more like avoided—as he turned on the Blazer, bumping up the AC. He finally looked to me. "I told her I wasn't really looking to get serious right now." He looked out the windshield. "I didn't want to completely crush her spirit."

I could respect that, but there was a part of me—a rather large part—that couldn't help but think, _You mean you didn't want to have to admit to being a cad. _I quickly reprimanded myself for the thought. I knew Edward wasn't a scumbag. Farthest thing from one actually. He'd proven his integrity to me too many times to count. Plus, he'd admitted to me before that he'd gotten with her with no intent of being serious to begin with. _Was she aware of that fact_ was still a blinking question in my mind. She had jumped in bed with him only hours after meeting him. Honestly, what else did she expect? I slapped myself mentally for all womankind. Edward had done the exact same thing. He should've made his wishes known to her from the start.

_What was wrong with me?_ Why was I letting this trouble me so much? I looked to Edward and had a _duh _moment. I had...feelings for him. Feelings I had no business having. Edward's never shown me anything but friendly obligation. I wasn't dim, I understood that he chose to help. That he didn't have to if he didn't want to. But I couldn't help wondering if he didn't feel so sorry for me, would he give me the time of day? Would he put so much energy into supporting me? Or was I simply a project to help him ease his conscience? Cause, God knows, helping me would for sure bump up you do-gooder meter.

As much as I hated feeling like a charity case, I couldn't bring myself to leave him alone. His proximity becoming like a sort of drug to me. I was mindfully willing to line myself up for inevitable hurt than chance missing my next fix. I knew I'd inherited my parents addictive personalities. _Thanks mom and dad._

* * *

That next morning, mid breakfast, Edward scared the bejesus out of everyone. Hooping like a manic after reading his phone. I nearly fell completely out, fingernails digging into ridges of the tiles on the counter being the only thing that saved me from plummeting.

"What is it, son?" Carlisle asked as he stood, eyes a panic.

Esme was staring worriedly at Edward. Renee was clutching her fork, eyes bugging out of her head.

"I passed!" He exclaimed, eyes animated. "I'm graduating."

Their was a brief moment of silence, then a jarring boom of celebration exploded through the room. Fighting my initial reaction to cover my ears, I clapped instead. Esme damn near jumped over the island to hug Edward.

"I have to call everyone." Esme pronounced, then was out the room with a quick kiss to Edward's cheek. Edward laughed heartedly at his mother departing back.

"Good job, son." Carlisle said with a squeeze to the shoulder before he pulled Edward into a quick, firm hug.

"Thanks, dad." Edward said, returning the hug fully.

Carlisle looked down to his son with pride, still holding him at arms length. "You've always pushed yourself further then anyone I've ever met. Enjoy this moment, you've earned it." With a final pat to Edward shoulder, Carlisle left the room.

Renee stood and bid Edward congrates before exiting as well.

Once again, we were left alone.

Standing, I started to collect the dirty dishes.

"You don't have to do that." Edward's voice startled me, I clutched the plate I was holding. He hadn't raised his voice, my nervous were just that overworked.

"I know." I went back to cleaning up the island.

Edward shrugged, not commenting further as he sat back down.

"Congratulations." I said quietly after I placed all the dishes in the sink.

"Thank you." Edward turned his neck to look at me with happy, soft eyes.

I flicked a smile at him before I looked back at the sink, not wanting him to see the blush creeping up my cheeks. A distasteful habit that hadn't materialized since my early childhood. I made a production of looking busy, running water and making bubbles with the liquid soap.

"Will you come?" Edward asked after a moment.

I glanced at him, he was watching me steadily.

"Where?" I asked, dumbly.

He chuckled. "To my graduation, of course."

"Of course." I repeated, inwardly tacking on _you idiot _to myself as I turned back to scrubbing dishes.

"_So_ are you?" Edward pressed after I didn't offer an answer.

I blinked to him as I blindly rinsed the soapy dishes. "Yes. Sure. I mean of course I'll go."

"Great." Edward beamed at me, bounding up. Grabbing his dishes, he walked to me. "It's Saturday."

I dropped the fork I was holding back into the suds. "This Saturday?"

Edward chuckled as he leaned around me—a sneeze away from touching my hands—to pick up the fork and rinse it for me. "Yes."

I blinked. "That's in five days."

Edward nodded. "I know it's last minute. But Rose should have _plenty_ of dresses for you to choose from. And I'm sure Esme would be ecstatic to help you get ready."

"I'll look for a dress." I said, not really having much other choice. Not intending to ask for Esme's help whatsoever. It was nothing against her, I just didn't want the help. From anyone. Sick and tired of years of having people, meaning Aro, choose what I wore or how I fixed my hair and makeup. "I'm perfectly capable of getting myself ready though."

"Fine with me." Edward said, pushing himself away from the counter. "As long as I see you there, I'm happy." With one last cheery smile, Edward left the room.

My head snapped up in shock after he left, hands in the now chilly water forgotten. What he just said running over and over in my head. _He would be happy as long as he saw _me_ there? Why?_ I jerked myself away from those thoughts. I was making too big of a deal out it, analyzing whatever he said to death till I turned an innocent phrase into something it wasn't again. Shaking myself out, I went back to finishing the dishes, refusing to think about Edward at all.

I failed ten minutes later as I hunted through Rose's closet. I needed a flashlight and possibly a survival kit in here. I finally found a mid-thigh length neon blue, silky dress with a ruffle wrapping around the middle. It was a little revealing on the shoulders, but nun-like compared so some of the things I've been forced to wear in the past. As I held the dress out an unbidden thought crossed my mind, _Would Edward like this? _I clamped the dress back in it's place and walked away. Then went right back to it. Then walked away again. I did this ridiculous dance for an embarrassing long time, until I finally took the dress out the closest and laid it on the bed. I went back in the closet, returning with cut off at the ankles, light-brown leather boots.

After arranging everything, I examined my choice. Deciding I needed to make sure the dress fit right, I tired it on. Standing before the mirror, I turned around slowly, checking to see if anything slipped or hung unsavorily. Everything fit acceptably. Just as I was about to take it off, a knock sounded at the door. My head snapped to the door, then back down to the dress. Another knock. Darting to the door and unlocking the latch, I opened it slightly and stuck only my head through the crack as to where whoever was on the other side couldn't see the rest of my body.

It was Edward.

"Yes?" I asked, a little out of breath.

He smiled quizzically at me. "What are you doing?"

"Uh. Nothing. Just in the middle of changing." It was a good cover, I had been in my pajama's before.

Edward's eye's widened. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...interrupt." He cleared his throat, looking away for a moment before he looked back to me. Face back to it's normal, easygoing self. "When you're done, please come meet me in the family room."

"Okay." I said as I stepped away and closed the door. Pressing my back against the solid surface, I struggle to get my breath back in order.

My breathing wasn't short and gaspy because I had hustled it to the door either. It was the jolting knock. The piercing unrelenting fear of not knowing who was behind the door. The fear was uncalled for and tiresome since I was almost as safe as the crowned jewels in here. The heart punching in my chest was too preoccupied to listen to reason though. Needing purpose, I mechanically undressed and redressed myself into regular day clothes. Slowly my heart and breath fell back into seemingly normal rhythms. After storing the ensemble out of the way but still in an easily accessible place, I went to meet Edward.

I found him standing like I had been the other day, looking out the glass, sliding double-doors. I cleared my throat, staying in the middle of the room. He turned to me, smiling.

"Did you need something?" I asked, residual tension remaining from earlier.

Catching on to my uneasiness, Edward grew worried. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, waving him off.

"Bella." Edward said in a reproving tone, fixing his hands at his hips.

"Edward." I mimicked him to a T, just to show him how foolish he looked.

He frowned at me as he dropped his hands, unamused. Good, because I wasn't trying to get him to laugh. "You're lying." He accused.

Crossing my arms around my chest, I gave him a bored look.

He just looked at me, totally seeing through my facade. "You can put on an act, but I know better." He took exaggeratedly slow steps towards me. "Something's shaken you."

I watched him as he came closer, eyes skittering around his face. He stopped a foot away from me, close enough to wear I could smell his cologne.

"What happened?" He asked gently.

Knowing that he wouldn't accept _nothing_ for an answer, I begrudgingly began to explain. "I'm not sure exactly what triggered it. But when you knocked I felt...fearful."

As much as this didn't seem to be a surprise to him, it upset him nonetheless. "I should've thought of that." He muttered mostly to himself. "I'm sorry, Bella. I've been an insensitive idiot all morning. I know how sudden racket affects you. I promise to be quiet as a mouse from now on."

I shook my head, chagrin with my volatile state of mind. Supremely cross with the fact that Edward was standing before me so remorsefully when he _should've_ been making a ruckus and celebrating. "No. Edward. Don't be sorry. And don't hold back for my benefit."

He blinked at me and went to say something.

I cut him off, sticking my palm up. "Please, just listen."

He clamped his mouth shut.

Dropping my hand, I kicked the back of my heal as I grappled for words. I looked to the ground for a moment, then back to Edward's waiting eyes. "This is my problem. Not yours. It's nice of you to worry and apologize, and you're a great guy. But it's not your job to safeguard me, Edward."

He opened his mouth to argue.

"I know, I know." I interrupted him again. "_You_ want to help me."

He gave me exasperated eyes, but stayed quiet.

"I appreciate the help," I continued, "I really do. Hell, I'd probably be a vegetable by now without you." He frowned at the memory but stayed quiet. "I've grown to...enjoy your company too. But it's not fair of me to ask you to change how you are just because I can't control myself."

Edward stayed silent. "Can I talk now?"

I nodded. "I'm done."

"Good. Now it's your turn to listen." I went to say something. "Oh no you don't, I kept my mouth shut and heard what you had to say so it's only fair if you do the same." I pressed my lips together, glaring at him.

He continued, my look not affecting him in the slightest. "What's happening to you isn't something that you should just 'control'." He actually air quoted around that word. I'd never seen someone do that in real life before. I almost laughed, but thought better of it; knowing from his current mood that laughter wouldn't bode well with him right at that moment. "And at this point, sweetie, you should just accept that I'm going to be a big, blistering soar on your side for a while. Whatever impacts you, concerns me. So just deal with it—please." I just blinked at him, wanting to say so much but having no clue what to say.

Edward smiled at me before asking, "Can I show you something before we have to go to late shift?" Charlie and Edward had struck a deal for me and him to always be on the same schedule. A reasonable enough request since Edward was my main source of transportation.

I just looked at him for a moment, reeling. Brain efficiently overloaded. Finally I shook my head roughly. "Sure."

* * *

"I cannot ride that." I said shaking my head rapidly.

We were standing before two vintage looking bicycles in his parents driveway, one green the other brown. Edward stepped to them. "It's easy. I'll teach you."

"No, thank you." I said hastily.

Pushing up the kickstand with his foot, Edward rolled the brown bike right in front of me. "Bella, it's simple. All you have to do is balance." He murmured this to me from the other side other of the bike. "I'll help hold it up until you get you're bearings."

I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "This isn't a good idea."

"It's perfectly safe, Bella. My parents have a long, private driveway. No hazards, besides a few scrapes and bruises."

"That sounds promising." I grumbled as I gripped the handles.

Letting go with a smile, Edward stepped back. "That's the spirit. Now all you have to do is straddle that poll in the middle." I did as he instructed. "Now place one foot on the pedal. Good. When I count to three, push up with the other on." Grabbing on to the middle of the handlebars and the back of the seat, managing not to touch me, Edward started to count. "One..." I wasn't ready. "Two..." So totally unready. "Three..." _Shit_.

I blinked at Edward, whose face was mere inches away from mine. I was perched on the seat with both feet soundly on the pedals in an upright position, instead of plastered to the ground. Mainly because of Edward. Who was I kidding? _Entirely _because of Edward.

His smile was even more unbelievably luminescent at such a close vicinity. "See. Easy, huh?"

I clenched the handles as the bike wobbled a little. "This isn't the part I'm most worried about."

"Which is?" He inquired, getting far to much enjoyment out of this.

"Obviously the falling part." I tried for a snide tone, but my voice squeaking slightly ruined the effect.

Edward just looked at me. "Bella, trust me, I'd never put your life in serious danger."

"Oh, so minor danger's are all a-go in your book?" I had no problem laying on the sarcasm now.

"You're probably going to fall—a good bit—at the beginning. But trust me, the small amount of pain you're gonna feel is worth it."

Breathing in deeply through my nose, I said, "Okay." before I chickened out.

And with that we were speeding down the long, rocky driveway.

We rode up and down the driveway like that the rest of the morning and well after lunch. I fell—_a lot_. But one time, everything clicked. The speed was perfect and my balanced was centered when Edward let go. At first I didn't even notice he wasn't holding the back of the bike anymore. When I did I almost swerved and fell like the first handful of times. But I righted myself just in time, pedaling away. I streaked towards the house, wind slapping my face brining water to my eyes. Edward cheered and clapped as he ran along side me. Joyous laughter bubbled out of me as childlike freedom took over.

We smiled at each. This smile stretching my cheeks tautly.

"_Brake, Bella!_" Edward hollered.

I squeezed the handle break. Sliding off the seat, my feet hit the ground with a jolt. My teeth clicked together, hard. I think I tasted blood. I didn't care. _Edward was right._ It was more than worth it. That was by far the best thing I'd ever experienced. Skittering to a halt in front of me, Edward leaned on the wheel as he fought for breath.

He looked up at me, cheeks pink and eyes bright. "How was it?"

"_Amazing._"

He grinned at me. "Wanna try for another?"

I did, but..."What time is it?"

He looked to his phone. "Four."

"We have to get ready for work." Work wasn't until 6:30 but the commute alone was a hour. Plus, I was starving and needed a shower to wash the well earned sweat off.

He looked as disappointed as I felt, but smiled anyway as he stepped away. "True. Raincheck?"

I smiled at him as I swung my leg over the seat. "Definitely."

* * *

_**This was one of my favorite chapters to write. It's the first time that Bella feels real joy and is a beautifully, innocent moment between the two of them. I hope y'all enjoyed it!**_

_**Loves much,**_

_**Phee**_


	15. Fear and Celebration in Seattle

**Disclaimer:** Finding Nemo, Up and Life as a House are not mine, obviously. It be stupid of me to even try and pretend that they were. I simply described the movies through Bella's POV. I'm not sure if that's illegal. No copyright infringement intended. (But if it's plagiarism anyways, please let me know.)

**A/N:** I'm not sure if they allow students to put things on their caps at UW graduations, but I went with it. Please look past it if this isn't right.;)

This is going to be the last long chapter of the story. They will slowly get shorter and shorter the more they progress.

* * *

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

'_Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't wanna go home right now_

_-Iris_ by Goo Goo Dolls

(Isabella (Spectator) Swan)

The graduation was in the Husky Stadium.

Claustrophobia I wasn't aware of having, coiled around me the more and more the place filled up. Happy voices and energy reverberated throughout the place as the school band practiced different, low tones. A sea of caps expanded through almost the entire field, a stage with different color banners stretching across it before them. Edward was still easy to spot since he had a big, white E written with tape on his cap. Esme had insisted on buying his graduation apparel when he first got his bachelors degree instead of renting so she could vacuum seal it in the future. That's why he was able to write on it as long as it was appropriate. He wore a white hood over his gown. I could only see the top of his head now, but I knew how handsome he looked. My mouth had nearly popped open when he had walked into the family room earlier that day. He wore a simple black suit, with the jacket opened and a gray plaided button-up shirt showing underneath, hair mused up as if he'd just shooken his fingers through it.

We had stared at each other, neither saying a word. The air around us charged, I half wanted to check and see if my side braid was frizzy because of it.

Esme coming in, adjusting her pinned-up hair, had us both jumping. A sleek, v-neck dress with dark metallic designs incased her body in a very flattering way. It wasn't a shocker that she'd startled me, predictable actually. Edward's reaction was odd though. Sudden surprises never usually affected him. I didn't have time to dwell on it though since Carlisle and Renee had came in right after. Carlisle wore a black-stripped suit with a royal blue button-up shirt, jacket open like his son's. Renee had on a dress nearly as bright as mine—maybe brighter. But I had to admit she looked nice in her red short-sleeved fitted dress with nude accessories, hair down with sleek curls.

"You look beautiful, Bella." Esme had said to me.

I complimented her back.

"You too, Renee." I said.

Renee blinked, becoming emotional. She'd reigned it in quickly with a small, wobbly smile.

Now we were all sitting in the bleachers. Seventeen rows away from Edward and his fellow graduates with three extra spaces being filled by Charlie, Rose, Emmett (Riley was with a sitter, Rose had informed her parents). I obviously knew who Charlie was, and was able to easily guess who the other two were by process of elimination.

I saw recognition flash across Rose's face once she saw the dress I was wearing, but she smiled without saying a thing as she shook my hand.

Rose and Emmett should've stared in movies together, they were that gorgeous of a couple. Rose was petite with the same striking features as her mother, wearing a green, lace dress with a tiny belt at her waist, the top of the dress and quarter sleeves see-through. Emmett was tall and blonde with a solid build. He looked comfortable but sophisticated in light gray, stripped slacks and a crisp white button up shirt, first two buttons unlatched. He's eyes had a squinty roguishness to them but were also friendly at the same time. He smirked at me. I smiled back.

Charlie sat next to Renee, taking her hand in his. They both looked to me, Renee nervous and Charlie a rock of solidity. His eyes read that he knew everything about us and was Switzerland about it. I could respect that. I was just surprised they had even met let alone were together. Pretty serious by the looks of it too. I realized I had no grounds to be shocked, it wasn't as if I'd been paying any attention to either of them. Oh, no, I had been too worried about that goading, captivating boy we were all here for.

The ceremony beginning with everyone standing and singing the Star Spangled Banner snapped my attention back to the present. Putting my hand to my chest like everyone else, I mouthed the words I didn't know.

After heartfelt speeches and proclaimed achievements of individual students from faculty, staff and even the governor, students names were called by alphabetic order to proceed to the stage and get their diplomas. It didn't take long for Edward's name to be called. A surprising amount of people whooped and hollered for him. After accepting his diploma with a handshake, Edward lifted it over his head with an exultant smile. We all clapped. I let out a whistle, getting caught up in the moment. Edward's eyes fell directly on me, following the sound. Joy warmed his eyes as he winked at me, smile still stretching his face.

As the rest of the ceremony continued, I found my mind wondering. How surreal this all felt. Rejoicing for the accomplishment of another as if I were any regular person when I was so far removed from being that. The difference of this life compared to the one I was living not even a month ago was so vast it was almost as if I were in a dream. At times I found myself fearful I'd wake up at any moment. The fear so absolute and constricting it was almost blinding. Fear had become a daily occurrence for me at this point, I could almost completely ignore it. Like breathing or blinking, it was becoming a second nature.

This should've worried me greatly. Every time I thought to complain about it, my girls or any other person that was suffering much more than I came to my mind. I was blessed for whatever reason I still wasn't aware of compared to many. I had a dress that felt like someone had hand sawed it. I had food in my belly to nourish me. I had a safe place to lay. I had people supporting me now. I really had no right to be in such turmoil. That's why I suppressed it. And why I down played how bad it actually was to everyone, especially Edward.

It was better of course. I didn't feel detached anymore. The polar opposite in fact. Foreign emotions overrode my system to the point of being almost unbearable. Confusion. Guilt. Anger. Something I was realizing was hope. And, of course, fear. Fear that everything that was happening around me wasn't real and if it was that Aro was lurking somewhere in the shadows, waiting for me. Waiting to shatter the tiny bit of good that was starting to form in my life.

Hundreds of caps being thrown in the air, alerted me that the ceremony had ended. I looked around the crowd as I stood and clapped, eyes skittering about. I could've sworn I saw someone I didn't recognize at the stairs watching me. But when I looked back instantly, no one was there. I shook myself mentally, pegging it as self-induced paranoia.

It took a time to find Edward through all of the celebrating graduates. When we finally did Carlisle and Esme seized him into a group hug. Each couple followed suit until me and Edward were left facing one another. He stayed still, smiling at me, tassel brushing by his eye. Stepping forward, I hugged him around the neck. He stiffened in shock for a moment, but quickly returned the hug. The constant overhaul of emotions silenced the moment he's arms latched around me. I didn't want to leave them, but forced myself anyways. I was sure Edward wouldn't have been too keen on have a permanent ornament attached to his chest, plus everyone was watching.

Someone saying, "Hiya!" right behind me suddenly, had my body jerking. I whirled around. It was an unfamiliar girl.

"Bella." Edward said softly behind me. "This is my friend, Alice." I breathed sharply through my nose as I shoved down the panic.

I tried to smile, but couldn't pull it off so I nodded instead.

She beamed at me, completely unaware of how affected I was by her innocent outburst.

Alice had to be the most precious person I'd ever seen. Hair cut short-short like a boys oddly suiting her tiny features. The only large thing about her was her eyes. Big brown pools, so dark they almost looked black. Her floral, strapless mini-dress the most playful dress out of all of us.

She indicated the guy next to her with soulful eyes, dark hair and an orange hood by hooking an arm around his. "This is Jasper. He's my boyfriend."

"Hello." He said with a nod.

"Hi." I nodded back.

I could see Jasper's outfit underneath his unzipped gown. He wore the most casual out of all of us with a navy blue sweater and dark slacks, white collar peeking out at his neck.

"Come everyone," Esme alerted all of our attention politely. "We have a reservation at Canlis. Alice, Jasper, you are more than welcome to join us."

Alice hugged Esme. Esme smiled and patted her shoulder. "Thanks, Mrs. E, but we have plans already with both of our parents."

Alice hugged everyone, including me, telling Edward congrates when she hugged him. Jasper shook all of our hands.

"Congrats." Edward said to Jasper once their hands were locked.

Jasper returned the sentiment and with a final wave they disappeared into the crowd.

* * *

I watched everyone at our table as I ate my tiny portions. I didn't even want to think about how much it all cost. No prices were on the menu, so I tried to find the cheapest sounding thing.

Such happiness. Such love.

I the outsider looking in.

Carlisle, Emmett and Charlie were sharing war stories about their football years as Renee, Rose and Esme talked books I'd never heard of. Edward was occupied with a fellow graduate who was a chatty guy.

The place had obviously been a house at some point in the 70's by the looks of it, but was now the fanciest restaurant in Seattle. There was an air of intimacy that breathed throughout the entire place with the subdued lighting and smooth melody of the piano. A network of windows that expanded across the wall on the other side of the room displayed the most breathtaking view of the sunset.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Edward whispered to my side, I blinked at him. The visitor was gone.

"Yes. It is."

He smiled softly. "My dad proposed to my mom here. She insists on having monumental celebration here now."

I looked to his parents who were holding hands atop the table and looking lovingly into each other's eyes. Now that I knew the sentimental value this place held to Esme I didn't feel quite as judgmental about her choice.

Still, the place made me realize how inferior I was. How totally unequal I was to them. To Edward. _Again, with that? _I thought bitterly to myself. He seemed to be the postscript to every thought I had lately. Usually I felt morose alongside everyone of them too. The whole mental process was beyond vexing. I needed to accept that we were simply friends. I didn't want or need anymore...emotional attachments. I had plenty of emotions sucking at me like leeches already.

Noting my mood change, Edward's eyes widen. I could practically see alarm bells ringing around his head. "What's wrong?" He whispered to me, leaning closer to where I could smell the fine scent of his worn out cologne.

I pulled back slowly, shaking my head slightly. If I ever decided to tell him what thoughts were plaguing me—which there'd be a better chance of me laying an egg right were I sat instead—it certainly wouldn't be here, in this dress that had suddenly become constricting.

Edward frowned slightly, but let it go. _For now,_ his eyes warned as he joined the tables conversation about how Edward would be the first doctor of the family.

"It'll be a doctorate in history," he said self-deprecatingly, "doesn't count as being an actual doctor."

Everyone quickly opposed him.

Me asking, "How much longer do you have until you get you're Ph.D?" hushed everyone.

"Two years." He answered, brow lifted quizzically.

"Then you will have spent approximately six years dedicated to the edification of you're intended craft, right?"

"Yes." He blinked at my intensity.

"Then it counts."

"Well said, Bella." Carlisle praised, nodding at Edward with a _there_ look. "A toast, to Edward, for four years of devotion and the two more to come." Everyone joined glasses, clinking each others together softly.

Edward joined in too, nodding humbly, eyes glued on me as he sipped from his glass. I tried to detect any of his emotions but couldn't. He's usually readable face, now a closed book. _What could he possibly be thinking that he needed to hide? _I thought irately. I stopped my building indignation short. Didn't I do that to him almost constantly? I really had now high-ground to stand on once I thought about it. It was acutely galling nonetheless. The smallest of smiles danced around Edward's mouth, he knew I was annoyed and loved it. He might has well been shouting, _How's it feel, Swan_. his jubilation was that obvious.

I narrowed my eyes at him before looking away. I avoided eye-contact with him for the rest of the meal.

* * *

A couple of hours later, I was changing out of the dress and into much more comfortable navy blue pajama pants I found with _So Sleepy So Grumpy_ written down one pant leg; gray shirt with a drawing of an annoyed looking character and the words GRUMPY 1937 WEAR written over him to match.

Just as I was hanging the delicate dress back up a knock sounded at the door. "It's me." Edward's muffled voice came from behind the door, quelling the rising anxiety.

I opened the door all the way, standing in the doorway.

Edward stood back, looked at the pajamas I was wearing and chuckled.

"What?" I asked sharply, crossing my arms.

He shook his head. "Nice PJs."

I stuck my chin out, but couldn't keep the smile from pulling at my mouth. "Thank you."

Edward was in black mesh shorts with UW Huskies written on them and a white shirt of a man sticking his tongue out. "Einstein." He answered, noticing me squinting peculiarly at his chest.

I looked at his face. "Is he important?"

He gapped at me for a moment, but recovered as he neutralized his face. I waited with faux patience, feeling red-faced for yet again not knowing squat about things that seemed to be common knowledge to others.

"He was a famous physicist." Edward explained, I leaned against the frame as I listened. "Credibly the smartest man to ever live. He's rumored to have had ADD—Attention Deficient Disorder. When you have a hard time concentrating and retaining knowledge." He clarified once he saw my confused, furrowed brow.

He continued, looking down in an embarrassed way. "I struggled with it when I was younger. Affected my grades to the point of failing in second grade." I stood straighter. He was sharing a pained, hidden part of himself with me.

After peeking up at me with past hurt haunting his eyes, he finally continued after a moment. "Esme and Carlisle refused to drug me up, they lost a many doctors for that reason. Until finally they found Sylvan. That's a learning certain that specializes in unique teaching environments and tactics. It helped immensely. Eventually, when I got older, I learned to deal with it in my own way. It's still debatable if Einstein actually had ADD, but I looked up to him anyways." He scratched his head, eyes guarded. "It helped on the worst days."

I felt touched that he'd offered this damaged part of himself to me. Though obviously he'd prevailed against the odds stacked against him and was an indisputably intellectual young man, sadness for the struggling—and bullied, from the look on his face—young Edward still swamped me.

I stepped closer to him. "Thank you."

He blinked at me. "For what?"

"For sharing that with me. It's something that's obviously affected you, Edward. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to confide in me about it."

He half smiled, eyes still a little sad. "I figure you've shared so much with me, I should return the favor."

I smiled at him, shaking my head quickly. "Did you need something?"

"Huh?" He blinked rapidly, clearing his head out too.

"When you knocked."

"_Oh,_ yea. Are you about to go to sleep?"

"Not right at this moment, no."

His face brightened. "Do you want to watch a movie with me?"

"A movie?" I repeated, oddly caught off guard by his question.

He smiled, eyes cleared of any residual sorrow. "Yes. You're choice."

"Sure. But since I can count the movies I've watched with one hand, I think you should choose."

"Are you sure?" He asked with no real pressure.

I nodded. "Yes."

"Okay." He turned to walk away, craning his neck after he realized I wasn't following. "Are you coming?"

I shook my head out and started moving. He smiled at me once I stood beside him. We walked alongside each other to the back of the house to a room I'd never been in. The room was medium size, with three overstuffed, beige couches, all facing an impressive flat screen TV perched on the wall. A bowl of popcorn was on the coffee table with a six pack of coke in a small ice chest on the floor.

I cocked a suspicious brow at him. "You planned this?"

"I hoped." He amended.

"Mm-hmm." I said skeptically, plopping down on the middle couch.

Shaking his head with a smile, Edward walked to a large bookcase against the corner. Searching titles for a moment, he pulled one out from the mass collection. Hiding the case from me, he slipped the disc in the player. Sitting next to me, he grabbed the remote and clicked buttons until the movie started.

A white castle with blue roofs came to the screen, Walt Disney Pictures underneath it, a shooting star arching over all of it. Pixar came next with an animated table lamp jumping on the 'I'. A brilliant scenic view of a coral reef underwater showed. It took seeing the two clown fish for me to realize it was a cartoon. They were obviously a couple, with an overwhelming amount of eggs ready to hatch. The husband, Marlin, teased his wife, Coral, lovingly in there sea planet home. Suddenly the cozy scene turned menacing, the recently bustling, lively area now deserted. A barracuda with a vicious pair of choppers loomed in the distance. My heart quickened as I sat up straighter.

Coral looked down at the eggs. Marlin begged her to get back in the safety of their home, to not endanger herself, promising they would be safe. _Listen to him,_ I thought anxiously. She didn't. The scene quickly became chaotic, the male came perilously close to death as the barracuda chopped at him. He evaded each blow marginally, being knocked unconscious by the deadly creatures tail. Black screen, then Marlin came to. He jolted awake, calling out his wife's name in a panic. With no reply. Slowly he descended to the cave, dread crawled up my skin. The cave was completely barren now. As he cried, Marlin spotted a lone egg. Gently taking it into his fin, Marlin promised to always protect it.

Finding Nemo, showed through daylight piercing water. I took a handful of popcorn out of the bowl Edward offered to me, eyes still glued to the screen.

The egg was a child now, with one tiny fin. The father was extremely overprotective of him, to the boys great vexation. It was the first day of school for Nemo. The teacher, a large manta ray, took the students on a field trip to the drop off. When the father realized where they were going, he nearly had a mental breakdown, swimming to pursue them. Nemo and a few friends wonder away from the rest of the group, deciding it would be fun to see who could get closes to the boat. Just as Nemo was about to go too, Marlin came rushing out, demanding him not to do it. In a moment of defiance as his father was distracted by the teacher, Nemo went all the way out and touched the boat. Just as we was swimming back—Marlin fussing the entire time—Nemo was taken by a diver. Marlin rushed after him, but had no chance keeping up with the boat.

I collapsed back. "This is a movie for children?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes." Edward chuckled as he handed me a coke. "It's Riley's favorite."

"It's incredibly sad." I said, popping the tab and guzzling the crisp, cool cola.

"It gets better. I promise."

"Okay." I said dubiously as I continued watching.

Edward was right. The Dory character with short term memory lose was funny and lovable, sending Marlin into a whopping load of trouble and inevitably being the one that finds Nemo. The message of the movie being for children to listen to their parents, clear as day to anyone, even a very young child. Of course there were other underlining messages. Like trusting people and not allowing fear to keep you from living.

"Did you like it?" Edward asked durning the ending credits.

I nodded. "Can we watch another?"

He smiled. "Sure. Another Disney movie?"

"Anything's fine. I trust you're judgement."

I thought I saw something flash in his eyes, but it was gone too swiftly for me to detect it. I shrugged it off, pegging the dim lighting being the reasoning for my eyes playing tricks on me. "I'm touched." He piqued as he brought the case back to its family.

Taking only a few moments, Edward removed another. This time I could see the case in the blue light glaring from the DVD player's default screen. The picture had a house in the sky with thousands of balloons strung atop it. Up, was the title. Another Disney movie. This one just as sad, if not more so. Edward had a way of choosing them. As sad as they were in the beginning. As let hope as you felt for the outcome, the characters always triumphed. Finding happiness.

I looked to him sideways as the movie was coming to a close. _Was he sending me a message? _It surely seemed like it. He had a knack for sending me subliminal messages through music and movies it seemed. _What next? _I wondered absently.

He looked at me, titling his head, eyes innocent as ever. He could go somewhere with that. I saw through his act, but said nothing.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes. I actually cried." I said, still shocked that a simple movie had elected such emotions from me as I whipped away left over wetness from under my eyes.

"Yea. It's a tear jerker."

I looked to him. "Did you cry?"

He shook his head. "Not this time, but this is also the fifteenth time I've watched it."

"Another favorite of Riley's?" I asked.

Edward smiled fondly as he nodded. "He's gone through four copies of both movies at Rose's."

I laughed slightly. "He has good taste."

He smiled. "Like his uncle." I rolled my eyes. "_Hey_," His voice defensive as he chuckled, "Who you like showed him the movies?"

"His parents." I answered.

He shook his head. "Nope. This guy did." He pointed to his own chest.

I shook my head, smirking. "So you cried the first time?"

"Like a baby."

"I bet that was a sight."

"I'll have you know, I'm a good crier."

"Rrr-_eally_?" I asked.

"_No_," He laughed. "I'm full of shit. I have no idea what type of crier I am."

I was sure anything he did, he did beautifully. I didn't voice this.

"Are you tired?" Edward asked after a moment.

I shook my head.

Laying the empty bowl back on the coffee table, Edward got up and switched movies again. This one wasn't a cartoon. The movie was about a man with terminal cancer who tries to reconnect with his angry teenager son by building a house, Life as a House was the title. This one was only slightly different because the sad part was left for the end. Still there was a heartwarming quality to the movie. The shower scene between the son and curious neighbor girl was...awkward though. Odd sense the subject of sex never bothered or affected me usually anymore. But now I sat, acutely aware of how very close Edward was to me. My whole body responded to it. Skin bumping up and breath quickening.

I didn't want to have sex with him. Though I wasn't completely averse to the notion of it. _If_ it even came to that, of course he had to want that as well, which I was still not entirely sure of. Still, there was a part of me that instinctively knew that if we did just jump into emotionless intercourse I'd be cheating myself somehow. Cheating my new found freedom. Completely squishing any microscopic chance of healing I had.

I just wanted to touch him. My hand skimmed slightly closer to his, obeying the compulsion. His hand seemed to be on the same wave length because his was inching close too. I watched our hands got closer and closer, heart pounding against my rib cage.

The tips of our fingers touched first, the oddest sensation occurred right at contact. It felt as if my whole essence was awakening. As if, until this moment, I'd only been half alive. Oh-so-slowly, our fingers intertwined until my hand was completely latched into his.

I looked up at him slowly, still stunned that this was actually happening. Edward was just as surprised, blue eyes full of wide-eyed wonder.

We stayed like that throughout the rest of the movie, the heart beat thumping from his palm echoing through my entire body until mine mirrored its rhythm.

* * *

We woke up together the next morning on that couch.

Edward had slipped in one last movie that I was too dazed to pay attention to, both from our hands being interlocked again after he sat back down and grogginess. Sleep didn't elude me long and apparently Edward neither. Because here we were. Him leaning against the arm rest and me against his side, his arm around me.

I woke first, startled and a little disoriented. Still half in dreamland. The realization that last not wasn't in fact a dream overwhelming and exhilarating. What did last night mean? Did he have...feelings for me too? Right at this moment, I didn't want to go about navigating through the meaning of last night with Edward with my hair a wreck and my atrocious breath.

I was stuck though. If I moved, I wasn't sure if I'd wake him or not. The alternative wasn't promising either. Opting for the prior, I eased myself out from under his arm. Edward roused, hand squeezing my arm slightly. His eyes popped open. _Light sleeper, check_.

He smiled down lazily as he murmured. "Good morning."

"Morning." I mumbled back.

He stretched the other arm that wasn't around me as he yawned way from my face. "You want breakfast?"

"Sure, but I need a shower first."

"Okay." He released me. "You like pancakes?"

I stood, running my palms over my now sloppy side braid. "Yes."

"Blueberry? Chocolate chip?"

"Plain buttermilk is fine, thank you."

"Gotcha." He smiled at me.

I stood awkwardly for a moment, looking at him laying down leisurely as if nothing major had happened.

"Okay." I said quickly, leaving the room in haste.

Once I made it to the room, I leaned against the door. My brain was buzzing. _Did I put too much into last night? _Had I imagined his hand moving with mine? Had I mistaken his look of wonder? If I'd just taken him by surprise and if he didn't want to hold my hand as well, why would he hold it again once he was free? Ordering my brain and heart to shut up, I stomped to the bathroom adjoining the room Renee was staying in.

After shedding clothes, I stepped into the too hot shower. I jumped back out and adjusted the water. The skin on my lower belly and upper thighs red from where the scolding water hit it. Once the water as an appeasing warmth, I stepped tentatively under it again. As I washed myself mechanically, my thoughts reverted back to last night and this morning.

He obviously wanted to hold my hand too. Now that I was clear headed from the shock of damn near burning water, I could acknowledge the truth in that. I hadn't imagined anything. I'd just read into it more. Been more...affected by it. By him. Really, it shouldn't have been that big of a shocker to me. I'd been telling myself how incompatible we were from the start. Still, the jarring hurt of this realization that overtook me was unshakable.

After brushing my teeth and dressing, I dragged feet to the kitchen.

Edward was chipper as ever, whistling as he puttered about the kitchen. "Coffee?" He asked at my entrance.

I shook my head as I got OJ out of the fridge.

He shrugged as he went back to flipping pancakes, still obliviously merry.

I sat at the island, seeing that it was early. The sun still just peeking out. Birds chirping almost in tune with Edward. The whole world was so sun shinny and all the living things were rejoicing in it. Except me. I was too busy sulking.

Placing a plate with a stack of steaming pancakes before me, Edward watched me carefully, mood considerably dimming as he noticed my sullen one. Sitting beside me, he slide the syrup between us, waiting for me to take it first before he lathered his higher stack.

I munched silently.

"Is everything okay?" He finally asked, unable to take the tension.

I just looked at him.

"Obviously not." He answered his own question.

I went back to the pancakes I wasn't really tasting.

"What's wrong?" He asked, eyebrows meeting.

I said nothing.

Dropping his fork and knife, Edward turned fully to me. "How am I suppose to deal with this, Bella?"

I blinked at him, utterly shocked, fork clinched tightly in my hand forgotten.

Grimacing, he scratched his head roughly, words free falling from his mouth. "We had a good time, a _great_ time, last night. We woke up together and that obviously upset you, but I figured it just shocked you. Now you're pissed and not saying a damn word to me and I don't know what to do." He dropped his hands, defeated.

Placing the fork down, I faced him. "I'm sorry."

He blinked at me, mute now.

I looked out the window as the words I were dreading left my mouth. "It felt like last night didn't mean anything to you."

"Bella." His soft, imploring voice had me looking up into his ponderously endless blue eyes. "Of course it meant something to me."

"You had a funny way of showing it." I muttered.

He gapped at me. "As opposed to what?"

I shrugged.

He slugged back coffee. "What exactly did I do to make you feel that way?"

I cut the pancakes into jagged pieces, not bringing any to my mouth. "You just seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing."

"That was contentment, Bella."

"Oh." I said lamely, looking down at my minced up flapjacks.

He watched me for a moment. "You know I couldn't tell how you were feeling either."

My eyes snapped to him. "Seriously?" This information was mind boggling. My feelings had been so vociferous inside I'd figured they were obvious.

He nodded. "You're _very_ difficult to read, Bella."

I just blinked at him, still reeling. I stepped back from my disbelief for a second. He was right. I hadn't voiced myself or shown anything other than hostility. "Then I'm _really_ sorry."

"No worries." He smiled. "Just next time talk to me before you brew a storm in your head."

I nodded, going back to my mangled breakfast.

"So," Edward began as he went back to his half eaten stack. "No work today."

I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. "Yea." I said before popping a pancake in mouth.

"Wanna go bike riding?" He asked, eyes excited.

Finishing the juice and whipping my mouth, I pushed the plate away. "Yes."

* * *

It took the whole morning for me to re-acclimate myself with the bike. Once I did we were off, riding for hours. The weather was unusually fair today. We rode passed random rays of sunlight punching through thin clouds, smiling at one another like a bunch of morons. This was the fastest mode of transportation I'd ever driven myself. It was invigorating. Freeing.

We got far from his parent's house. So far I become somewhat nervous. I looked to Edward. "Are you sure you know where we're going?"

He smiled confidently. "Relax. I know this island like the back of my hand."

I nodded begrudgingly as we turned left. Peddling a couple of more miles. I stopped feeling my legs a long time ago, breathing considerably labored. Edward looked as if he could keep going for days. The picture of vitality as he hooked a right turn.

After a little more peddling, we finally stopped. I nearly jumped off the bike, happy to feel the earth beneath my feet again. It took everything I had not to keel over.

Looking out, I saw water with a line of forest trimming the the horizon. A large, snow capped mountain towering in the backdrop. The beach was gravely, driftwood dotted the shoreline. Multicolored canoes were stacked on ramps by the grass, a few fellow beach goers were pulling some into the water as we walked closer.

"Lytle Beach." Edward announced. "An island treasure."

"It's beautiful." He smiled down at me as we parked our bikes.

Once we found a comfortable spot, Edward pulled a charcoal, fleece blanket with Eagle Harbor Alumni written in gold on the corner of it out from his navy backpack with a big white check on it.

"High school?" I asked, nodding at the blanket that was now on the ground.

He nodded as we sat, taking in the view. "Water?" He asked as he handed me a bottle from the bag.

"Thank you." I said with profuse gratitude before I drained the bottle until it caved in.

Edward chuckled as he dug in the bag again. "Cliff Bar?"

I took it, famished. I took a bite of the crunchy substance, tasting peanut butter. I looked at the package of a man clinging to a parlous mountain edge as I took another bite. "Hmm_. _For looking like vomit, it surprisingly taste good."

Edward nodded as he bit off a chunk of his bar. "Yea, it'll keep the hunger at bay too. Don't worry, I have apples too."

I nodded, not all that worried. The strangest feeling. I felt almost airy from the gaping lack of anxiety.

"_Look_," Edward said animatedly as he pointed out to the water. "Do you see that?"

I squinted in the direction he indicated, seeing nothing. Slowly, something came to view. Rising from the water and breaking the surface. At first just a point, then a black square structure came into view. The rest of the top rose majestically, water cascading away from the top. I watched as it skimmed down the water.

"What is that?" I asked in a hushed tone as if the thing was a skittish creature that would dive back under if it heard any loud noises.

"A submarine." Edward answered. "It's returning to the navel base."

I watched the spectacle. "Amazing."

"I knew you'd like it." He said with a smile in his voice.

My eyes snapped to him. "You planned this?"

He nodded. "One usually surfaces close to this time."

I became lightheaded. It wasn't from exertion either, but from the impacting realization of exactly how much thought Edward had put behind this outing. I felt moved. Any lingering insecurities were totally yanked away as a new sensation started taking over me. Something much more...intense. So intense it should've been terrifying but oddly wasn't. Peaceful actually.

"Thank you." I finally managed through a tight throat after a moment.

Smiling softly, Edward opened his hand laying on the blanket next to mine.

I took his offering, bringing my palm home to his, our fingers weaving. We gazed into each other's eyes, beautiful surrounds completely forgotten. The cresting wish to kiss him was too overpowering to deny. Still, I felt apprehensive. _What if I felt nothing? _I worried.

Blue eyes I would never forgot again in my life honed in on mine as Edward's face inched closer. My eyes skittered around his face—a face that was now permanently pasted to my memory—as I felt myself closing in the distance between us.

I closed my eyes tightly as his lips brushed ever so lightly against mine. This contact was so much...more. All concerns or even basic thoughts departed as our lips pressed together gently. I gasped against Edward's parted, yielding lips, feeling as if something was blasting uncharted sensations into my viens. I pulled back, bringing my free fingers to my lips.

Leaning on his free hand, Edward's chest puffed out, taking in a deep breath then letting it out slowly. He gazed unseeingly at the mountain.

After transferring enough air back into my lungs, I asked, "Did you feel that?"

Edward blinked at me, eventually nodding slowly as he swallowed.


	16. A Healing in Progress

_Paper thin conviction_

_Turning another page_

_Plotting how to build myself to be_

_Everything that I am not at all_

_Sometimes I get tired of pins and needles_

_Facades are a fire on the skin_

_And I'm growing fond of broken people_

_As I see that I am one of them_

_-Pins and Needles_ Mutemath

(Isabella (Discoverer) Swan)

A few hours later we were eating at the Treehouse Cafe in Lynwood Center. A town that looked as if it was plucked right off of a story book page. The pizza was good, environment relaxing.

We had plenty of time beings that it was five and the sun set around nine. I dawdled, avoiding the hour and a half bike ride back home till the very last minute. Edward was in no hurry either, he gazed at me with such serenity. I swear, the sunlight bleeding from the window formed a halo around his head. Even nature showed him extra-special attention. Couldn't blame it really.

Smiling, he dropped the crust from the fourth slice he'd eaten. Leaning down against the table, he stretched his arm across the table, holding his palm up in invitation. I smiled back at him, shaking my head as I pressed my hand identically against his. His fingers were a good couple of inches longer then mine. We looked at each other's pressed, unknitted hands.

I caught Edward looking at me through my peripheral. His arresting blue eyes fixating. We stayed like that for an extended amount of time as the world drifted away.

"Your eyes." Edward murmuring, almost too himself, snapped me out of my state of hypnosis.

I blinked at him, feeling self conscience. "What about them?"

He weaved our fingers together, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb, his eyes never leaving mine. "Something's changed about them."

I raised my eyebrows mutely.

He looked at me as if I were the most fascinatingly complex thing ever. "There's a new...light to them." He smiled as he looked down for a moment then back up, saying this last part so softly I barely heard it. "They're the most beautiful things I've ever seen."

I coughed, disconcerted and delighted by what he said. "Thank you, but I'm sure there are many other things you've seen that surpass them."

He shook his head, smile seeming to be glued to his lips now.

"So you don't think that Lytle Beach was beautiful? Because I did."

"Of course it is, but it pales compared to what I'm seeing now."

I looked down, peeking back up at him shortly after. His eyes stayed unmoving from my face. So steady. So true.

* * *

We walked the bikes back down the drive just as brilliant colors painted the sky.

"Thank you." I said. Edward looked to me. "I'll remember this day forever."

He smiled at me. "Me too."

After storing the bikes, we walked to the house hand in hand.

"Hello." Edward called out to no reply.

He shrugged as he placed his backpack on a lone chair in the corner of the kitchen. It slipped of the edge of the seat top first as the contents spilled from the partially opened zipper. A black gun bigger than mine, banged against the title. I stepped back, eyes snapping to Edward.

He watched me carefully, standing stock still. "Bella." He said slowly as I kept stepping back until I hit the counter.

I stared at the barrel of the gun pointing straight at me. "Is it loaded?"

"Yes." He answered quietly. "It's on safety though. I'm positive of that." He said this as if that made everything so much better.

My eyes snapped to his as I side-stepped out of the gun's range. "Do you even have a concealed weapons permit?"

He nodded.

"Of course you do." I muttered bitterly, narrowing my eyes once a thought hit me. "How often do you carry it?"

He looked down, kicking his heel. "Usually, never."

"Why today then?" I asked accusingly.

He shrugged.

"Edward."

He looked to me, sighing. "We were going far with only bikes to get around, I wanted protection if things got dicey."

"Aro, you mean."

He nodded, worry marring his typically beatific eyes.

I walked all the way around the side of the island the gun wasn't on to get to Edward. I touched his shoulder tentatively, peering up into his face. "I can understand you're concern. Appreciate it even. It's just too much for me to have a gun drop like that in front of me."

"I know," He muttered in a downcast manner. "I'm an idiot. I should've been safer."

I shook my head. "It wasn't the gun actually falling that bothered me. That was an accident."

Edward cocked a brow at me. "Really?"

I nodded, debating on if I should explain more. "The man I was first sold to pulled one on me when he..." I looked away, not wanting to say it in front of him.

"Oh." Edward caught on, fury burning deeply in his sapphire eyes.

I touched his cheek and his eyes softened instantly. "It's okay. I just have a problem with guns. I'm working on it."

He covered my hand with his. "I'm sorry. If I had known, I wouldn't have made you go to that gun store."

I shook my head. "Don't apologize." I clamped his face between both my hands, staring him in the eyes. "You were just trying to help me protect myself. And God knows I need it."

Edward grimaced, turning his face away. I let go and stepped back, knowing he wasn't mad at me but the situation. It stung nonetheless.

"Fucking Aro." He spat as he shoved stuff back in his bag. "I could kill him." He said this with a quiet fierceness that had the hairs on my arms rising.

I stepped up to his kneeling form, combing my fingers through his velvety hair. He froze mid zip. "Hopefully it won't come to that. I don't want someone's death on you're hands, Edward."

Reaching up, he trapped my hands under his, my fingers still laced in his hair. He stayed kneeling as he leaned his back against my legs, the back of his head pressing my belly. "I won't go looking for blood, but I will do whatever I have to protect you, Bella."

"Okay." I said, knowing arguing with him would've been futile.

Releasing my hands, he rose, turning to me.

I let my hands drop to my side. We gazed at one another for a stretched length of time.

Edward broke the silence. "Do you want to freshen up?"

I smelt my shoulder self-consciously. "Jeez, Cullen, you sure know how to woo a girl." I wisecracked to hide my injured ego.

He shook his head rapidly, eyes widening. "Oh, _shit_, no. I didn't mean to imply that you stink—_Ugh_, I mean...I wanted to ask you..." He sighed roughly as he scratched his head.

After composing himself, he peeked at me, looking adorable as could be. "My parents have a hot tub outside." He finally got an articulate sentence out. "I could fire it up easy. Do you want to go in it with me?"

I shrugged, hurt flashed in his eyes for a moment but he quickly masked it. "It's not that I don't want to." I explained hastily. "I just don't have a bathing suit."

Edward smiled as understanding washed the hurt away. "I'm sure Rose has one you can wear."

I frowned.

"What?" He asked softly.

I flung the words out of my mouth, really not wanting to say them but having to. "It wouldn't be weird to see me in you're sister's swimming suit?"

That took him by surprise. He shook his head, blinking rapidly. "I hadn't thought about it like that actually...until now."

I groaned. "Great. Now I've grossed you out."

Edward shook his head. "It's not a big deal. I'll get over it. In fact, I'm over it now." He smiled, truth of his statement in his candid eyes.

"Are you sure?" I asked, skeptical.

He nodded. "You could get in a moo-moo for all I care. Whatever makes you feel comfortable."

I laughed at that. "Okay. I'll go with you." Stepping on my tip-toes, I kissed his cheek then left the room to change.

By some twist of fate, I found a bathing suit with the tag and genital protecter sticker still on it, brand new and forgotten in the back of the dresser draw. A black boy-short, one-piece halter suit. Modest but still complimentary. Pulling the tag and sticker off, I slide on the suit, tying the two straps around the back of my neck. Wrapping a long, pink towel from the bathroom around myself, I walked back towards the kitchen.

Me and Edward nearly ran each other as I took the corner.

He was shirtless again with plain gray shorts that hung a little on his hips, two white towels hanging from his arm. I took notice of his physique this time...and appreciated it. I dragged my eyes to his face once I realized I was ogling him.

He was grinning knowingly. "Ready?" He asked softly.

I nodded, vocal cords twisted together.

With a smile, he lead me to the family room, then through the double doors.

"There's a hot tub out here?" I asked as we stood on the wooden deck, looking around perplexedly once I saw nothing that looked like a tub.

His eyes twinkled impishly. "It's hidden."

"Hidden?" I repeated, really intrigued now.

He nodded as he walked down the steps into the yard.

I followed him to the manmade oasis in the back corner. I was still confused until Edward turned to a secret path that lead behind all the greenery. After the short dirt path ended a circular wooden object came into view in middle of the concealed opening. Tiki torches surrounded the tub along with different tropical plants, first breaking stars of the night in view up above. It was as if we'd stepped into an exotic land. _Magical_ was the word that came to mind.

Dropping the towels he had on some wooden folder chairs, Edward took the cover off the tub. He turned some knobs and pressed a few buttons. The water came to life. Bubbling and fizzing.

"It doesn't take long to get warm." Edward said, watching my face carefully. "You can get in whenever you want."

I nodded as I walked to the fold up chair, letting go of the towel and depositing it.

Edward's eyes scurried up my body quickly.

_Cough_. _Throat clearing. _"I don't remember seeing Rose in that."

"That's because she's never worn it."

"How do you know that?" His eyebrows rose.

"Tag was still on it."

He swallowed. "Oh." He shook his head. "After you." He stepped aside so I could reach the small steps.

Climbing the steps, I eased into the water. The water sizzled, twisting around me in torrents. The warmness soothing to my aching legs. Turning around, I sat on the opposite end from where I entered. Edward was referring to his phone again. Laying it down on the matching wooden table between the chairs. Suddenly it sounded as if someone was playing a piano around me. I jumped, making the water splash.

"Sorry." Edward winced as he climbed in. "I should've thought to check the volume."

I shook my head a little too quickly. "No. It's okay. Where is it coming from?"

"The tub."

"_How?_" I asked looking around the edge.

"Waterproof speakers around the edges—it's the small circles of tiny dots." He said, tapping one of them. I squinted and still hardly saw it.

"You're phone isn't plugged-in though."

Edward nodded as he sat across from me, eyes excited like a child's would be over a prized toy. "It's bluetooth. Signals transmit from the phone to the radio system imbedded in the jacuzzi." He explained before I could even look mystified.

I nodded, still not really knowing what that meant but smiling anyway. "Nifty. It sounds amazing."

Edward smiled, leaning his elbows against the edges, short tuffs of hair peeked from his pits.

We stayed quiet, listening to a girl singing about how wonderful the world was now that someone had came into it.

I looked to Edward, seriously doubting that this song had come on by coincident.

He smiled, almost coyly.

"This is pretty." I said with fake casualness as I tired to gather bubbles in my palms.

He nodded. "It's not the original singer of the song, but I like this version too."

"I like it too. What is it called?"

"Your Song." Edward answered.

"The singer?"

"Ellie Goulding."

"Do you like anything else she sings?"

He thought about it for a second, shrugging. "Never heard anything else by her."

"How did you hear this song then?"

"Alice was playing it one day at Jasper's and I liked it so I downloaded it when I got home."

I nodded, sinking my hands back into the water. "How did you meet them?"

He dipped the tips of his fingers in the water. "Me and Jasper were childhood friends. Our mother's worked together when they were pregnant for us. They forged a bond instantly and were inseparable ever since. Our friendship was set in stone before we'd even come out the womb." He smiled fondly as he said that last part. "Jasper met Alice at The Last Supper." Caution altered his voice at the mention of the club.

I smiled as if the club's name held no consequence to me, mostly for his sake. "How long have they been together?"

He pondered for a moment. "Two years, I think."

I blinked. "Wow. Are they in love?"

"Sickeningly." Edward answered with a smirk as another mellow song flowed around us.

I smiled at him smiling. Mine fell quickly once a question popped in my head. "What's stopped you from trying to find love again?"

He twisted his bottom lip between his teeth as he shrugged. "I had fallen fast and hard for Heidi and she broke my heart. After that I didn't see a point in diving again."

"Oh." I said quietly, wanting to find Heidi and make her pay for the hurt that was haunting Edward's face as he spoke.

"I've just recently thought about testing the waters again."

"You've been with girls lately though. I know that for a fact."

"That's not exactly what I meant." He looked at me pointedly.

"Oh." I swallowed, the part of my brain that formed words taking vacation as questions whirled in my head.

"Bella?" Edward asked slowly as you might to someone about to jump off a building.

I blinked at him. "Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

I nodded; too much, too fast.

"Do you need a second?" He asked, eyes growing worried.

I nodded a little slower this time.

"Okay." He said as he lowered slightly, leaning his neck against the edge.

Another song with electric sounding beats started playing, hammering belts of piano keys also in the mix of this one. A man sang this time about someone being strange and beautiful to them but still wanting them so desperately. The song pulled emotions from me as if I had invisible strings attached to them. The melody evoking while the lyrics significant. This one strangely more...important than all the other message's.

Was this a message? Where any of the songs or movies messages? Or were they all just happy accidents? Did I simply read into things too much? No, that really didn't seem to be the case. He'd just said he'd recently thought about testing the waters after a wonderful day like today. What else was I suppose to think?

Remembering where speculating got me this morning, I asked, "What exactly do you mean by testing the waters?"

Sitting up straight, Edward looked to me. "Do you promise not to freak out?"

I just looked at him. Starting to freak out.

"Bella."

"Yes." I mumbled. "I promise."

Taking in a deep breath, Edwards looked deeply into my eyes. "I know you have a bunch of stuff on your plate and the last thing I want to do is push you and make things worse, but since I've gotten to know you I've felt different—A good different." He added quickly at my frown. "The more I'm with you the stronger the feeling gets. Recently I haven't noticed other girls like I used to either. Hardly ever notice them actually."

I licked suddenly dry lips. "When did you start feeling like this?"

He pushed his hair back tightly with his wet hands, making his eyebrows stretch up slightly. "It all kind of sunk up on me. I think something shifted inside me when I saw you in the library after you'd...given up hope." I winced at the memory but motioned for him to continue. "At first, like I told you, I wanted to help you, and I still do. But sometime in the course of these last couple of weeks I've grown to have...feelings for you."

"What kind of feelings?" I asked as my heart went all aflutter.

Dropping his hands with a small splash into the water, Edward shrugged, eyes abnormally uncertain. "I'm not sure. I know it's something I've never felt before though."

"Something bad or good?" My hands gripped the seat underwater tightly.

"Definitely good." He answered without thought or pause.

I breathed out the air I hadn't realized I was holding. "Good...I've had feelings lately too."

"Really?" Edward perked, eyes completely brightened.

I nodded. "Like you, I'm not sure what to make of them."

He smiled. "This is good."

"Really?" I asked, skeptical of his optimism.

"Yes." He said avidly, leaning a little closer. "Don't you see, at least we're on the same page. We're both unsure, but willing to admit our feelings. That's much better than what I was afraid of happening."

My eyebrows shoot up. "What did you fear?"

He looked down and mumbled something to the water.

"What?" I asked, leaning in a little.

His head snapped up, our noses almost grazing. I jerked back reflexively and regretted it. Equally because I hated how guilty it made Edward look and because I wanted to stay close to him. "That you would reject me."

"Reject you?" I repeated dumbly as I sat fully back, not understanding.

Reject him? And I've thought this whole time that my emotions had been on blinking, neon display every time I was around him. Either Edward wasn't very perceptive or I was better at hiding my feelings than I realized. Undoubtably it was the latter. Because I knew how discerning Edward was.

He scratched his cheek as he grimaced. "Yea. Sounds stupid now that I say it out loud."

"_No_. No. It doesn't sound stupid."

He peered at me.

I continued. "I understand you being wary of opening yourself with the chance of being hurt again. With what that bitch did to you." His eyes widened but he stayed silent as I went on. "What I'm confused about is why you had worried that _I'd_ reject you."

He shrugged. "I wasn't sure how you felt about...relationships."

"Relationships?" There I went again with the repeating.

He nodded. "I know how you feel about..other things." He meant sex, referring to our conversation the morning I made him breakfast. I knew because his face looked exactly the same as when I first told him he didn't have to imply it that I would just give it. How vastly different I felt now. "But I wasn't sure if you would want to pursue any sort of attachments. Honestly, with everything you've been through and the fact that you need to totally focus on yourself, I didn't want to say anything at all—at first."

"What made you change you're mind?"

"I'm weak."

I blinked, yet again shocked.

He went on. "I should've left you alone. I mean, yes, I should've helped you. But the dinner, and the movies, and the bikes, and the beach and the music, I didn't need to do that. At first, I told myself, I was giving you experiences that everyone should have. As true as that still is, deep down I knew why I really did them."

I was dangling by the edge of my seat so much I was surprised I hadn't slipped to the slightly deeper middle part. "Why?"

"Because I wanted to be near you as much as I could. _You've _captivated me since we've met, Bella."

"I thought you didn't like me at first."

"I was muddled by you at first, even irked. But I didn't know anything about you and that wasn't fair of me. But I've been enthralled from the start."

I just stared at him, ingesting everything.

"I'm freaking you out, aren't I?"

I shook my head rapidly, still not speaking.

He smiled, but it was tight around the edges. "Now would be a good time to say something."

"No." The word stuck in my throat, I cleared it. "No. I'm not freaking out. Just...taking it in. It's unexpected, is all."

"Why?" He asked as he titled his head.

I shrugged as I muttered. "I didn't think someone like _you_ would ever like someone like _me_."

He frowned. "That's whats been bothering you, isn't it?"

I looked away and nodded.

"Bella." He said softly.

I looked at him, eyes stinging a little.

His eyes soft skies. "Of course I like you. Why wouldn't I?" He kept talking before I could even think to open my mouth to answer the question. "Why wouldn't I like someone that's strong, kind, selfless and beautiful?"

My heart liked the word _beautiful_. "I wouldn't call myself selfless."

"I would." Edward said. Resolute.

I shrugged. "We're entitled to our own opinions."

He frowned again. "But you are."

"No. I'm not."

"I've never heard of anyone being through as much as you have and worry about other people like you do. I saw you when you spoke about...your girls." He hesitated for a moment, gauging my reaction then continued once I didn't look like I was going to lose it. "I saw you're self-sacrificing love for them. You didn't have to care for those girls but you did without protest."

"I wasn't like that at first."

He blinked at me, totally surprised. "Really?"

I nodded, looking away from his curious, understanding eyes. "Yes. At first I didn't care. I felt indifferent to their pain." The more I spoke the heavier my chest felt. "I thought why shouldn't they have to suffer if I was."

"What made you change?" He asked gently.

I looked at him. "Bree. One of the four girls that died. She was 12 when she came in." His eyes grew sad and angry all at once. "None of the johns would keep her—there was too much press about her.

"I think I remember seeing something about her years back."

I nodded. "Stuck with her, Aro turned her into a servicer for his flunkies. He thought about killing her, but they practically begged him to keep her."

Edward became disgusted. "What sick fuck would want to touch a 12-year-old."

"A revolting amount."

Edward closed his eyes, disconsolate of how ugly and cruel people could be.

I continued. "She almost died the first night she was brought in. I thought she was lucky to be leaving this world. That snapped me out of my whatever funk I was in. I helped however I could to keep her alive. I slept with her through the night for comfort. After that there was no turning back. I had to help all of them. But we both now how that went."

He narrowed his eyes. "I thought we talked about this already. You're not to blame for their deaths, Bella."

"I know." I mumbled.

His eyes softened. "There's nothing wrong with mourning losing them but please don't torture yourself with guilt anymore."

He asked this so entreatingly I couldn't help but nod. "Okay." Knowing internally it wouldn't be that simple. Could_ never_ be that easy.

He smiled as if I'd just told him I was giving him a million dollars.

We sat in silence, four songs played around us in lulling sequence. I moved first, scotching around the tub until I was at his side. Edward's alert eyes watched my every movement. Leaning into the crook of his arm, I looked up to his face. His now foggy eyes, gazed into mine. His face stayed elevated and unmoving, though he so clearly wanted to descend.

I titled my face slightly, closing my eyes.

Soft, tentative lips touched mine. Again that blasting feeling, except remarkably more intense than the last time. We both took in sharp breaths as our lips parted. Kissing was no novelty to me. But this was so unlike anything I'd ever experienced. It wasn't simply moving of lips, but an...exchange. An exchange of something powerful. As our tongues met in singing harmony, Edward's hand touched my side.

I stiffened in a knee-jerk reaction.

Edward frozen as he pulled his hand and mouth away slightly. His face hovered inches from mine, just enough to where my eyes could focus on his. His voice was shaky when he asked. "Too much?"

I shook my head once. "Just unexpected. I didn't want you to stop."

That was all he needed before he was back in a flash. Then he was pulling away again. "If something's too much, let me know." His eyes serious.

I nodded.

"Promise."

I rolled my eyes. "I promise."

Slowly, he placed his hand back on my side. This time I watched him sink closer and closer until his lips collided with mine. The otherworldly rush banished all rational thought. Suddenly, my hands grabbed his face on there own accord as I deepened the kiss. Edward dove right along, other hand cupping the back of my neck as our tongues danced.

Edward pulled away first. Breathing raggedly, he looked up to the stars.

"What's wrong?" I asked dazedly, vision cloudy.

His adam's apple bobbed frantically as he swallowed. "I...need a minute."

"Are you about to com—"

"_NO_." He cut me off, eyes wide and dilated as his face snapped down to me. "I just felt myself losing control."

I was alarmed and excited about this omission. "I don't remember telling you to stop."

Unabated desire burned in his eyes, but he stayed still. "I don't want to rush things, Bella." I went to open my mouth but he interrupted me. "Neither do you, and you know it."

I frowned because he was right. "I like how it feels though." I almost whined.

Closing his eyes, he visibly fought the need. "Me too." His whispered.

Feeling bad for him and truly appreciating his iron-clad control, I pulled away and gave him space.

Finally he breathed out as he blinked his eyes open. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head as I said meaningfully. "Don't be."

He shook his head out roughly. "That's never happened to me before."

"You've never yearned to be with a girl?" I asked, titling my head quizzically.

He puffed out a chuckle. "Of course I have. Just never like..._that_."

"What was different?" I asked, totally captivated.

He peered at me from the corner of his eyes, as he answered cautiously. "It was overpowering to the point where I'd almost forgotten everything else. Even myself."

I breathed out an, "Oh." as I had an outer body experience. "That doesn't sound that bad." I finally said once I reentered my body.

He just looked at me. "It doesn't_ feel_ bad either. But that's not the point."

"Yea." I mumbled, feeling less resolved about the reasoning why we had to stop, my mind not my own at the moment. "I know."

He smiled at me, close to his full one. "Cheer up. We have time. _Plenty_ of it."

* * *

After tidying up the mini-paradise, Edward walked me to Rose's room. Leaning against the frame of the door, he gave me a chaste kiss then pulled away too quickly.

I frowned at him.

"Good night, Bella." His voice complexly soft and deep at the same time.

"Good night."

I stayed with my hand on the knob as I watched him walk down the hall. He did a small skip right as he rounded the corner, thinking he was safe from view.

Smiling, I went inside the room.

I dreamed of electric eyes and soaring kisses that night.

**References**:

Songs in the order that they're played:

_Your Song_ by Ellie Goulding

_Strange and Beautiful_ by Aqualung


	17. The Never Ending Changes

**A/N:** Thanks everyone for all the wonderful reviews! Each of them warm my heart:) And thanks to everyone that reads daily;)

* * *

_Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time_

_And hung me on a line_

_Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you_

_Maybe I'm a girl and maybe I'm a lonely girl_

_Who's in the middle of something_

_That she doesn't really understand_

_Maybe I'm a girl and maybe you're the only man_

_Who could ever help me_

_Baby, won't you help me understand_

_-Maybe I'm Amazed _cover song by Jem (written by Paul McCartney)

(Isabella (Cherished) Swan)

The next day at work was...interesting, to say the least.

Me and Edward weren't necessary obvious about the change in our relationship, but we weren't discreet either. With eyes constantly finding one another and passing touches.

In the middle of our early shift, as me and Edward were talking softly to one another about possibly going to Jasper and Alice's later, Sherry stormed up to us. Eyes mad with fury.

"What the fuck is this?" She spat indignantly.

Edward's eyebrows raised to his hair line. "What?"

"You heard me." She crossed her arms under her breast, pushing up slightly oh-so-innocently. "I thought you said you weren't looking for something serious."

Edward scratched his head and shrugged apologetically at me. I titled my head at him, being no help what-so-ever. He looked back to Sherry. "I don't know what you're talking about." It hurt slightly for him to deny anything between us, but I saw the irrationality in her eyes and forgave it.

"Don't give me that shit!" She screeched, bar patron's heads whirled in our direction.

I backed up slightly, displeased to have so much attention thrown on me.

She continued in a huff. "It's obvious with the way you've been looking at each other. Do you think I'm an idiot, Edward?"

"No, of course not." He said quickly, eyes wary. "Things have...changed recently is all."

"HORSESHIT!" Everyone jerked back at the unnatural sound that came out of her mouth.

"Sherry, calm down." Edward said, softly urgent. "I promise, I'd never intentionally try to hurt you."

"Yeah _fucking_ right." She scoffed.

People had started walking out at this point, shaking their heads. Their chilled out environment ruined.

Edward's eyes flicked to me, then back to her. "I swear. Listen, cool down. You're making a scene."

"SO!_ Do you think I really give a fuck?!_"

Edward frowned, growing fed up. "No, but Charlie will."

That made her pause, worry diminishing her outrage considerably.

"I don't drop girls. I had planned to call you." Edward went on. "But then...things had started happening that were...preoccupying."

Her once pretty but now cold eyes snapped to me. "Because of _her_."

"Enough." Edward said stiffly.

Her uncertain eyes switched to him, hurt confusion clear on her face. "What makes her so damn special?"

Edward shrugged. "Truthfully, I'm not sure." I winced inwardly until he said, "All I know is she is."

"What's going on here?" Charlie's peeved voice came from the back. His cross eyes immediately fell on Edward.

"Nothing. Everything's cool." Edward said with a forced smile.

Charlie narrowed his eyes, but shrugged and went to walk away.

"That's not true." Sherry said quickly, narrowing her eyes at me.

Charlie turned back around, cocking a brow.

"I won't work here, if she does." She pinpointed at me with a light-pink manicured fingernail.

"Now, Sherry—"

"No, Charlie, I'm serious." Her voice shrieking again. "Either she goes or I do."

Charlie took in all of us for a moment, face completely unreadable. Well there went my first, short-lived job. "Well, Sherry, you know where you're locker is. Go ahead and clean it out."

Her mouth popped open. "This is BULLSHIT! You're all fucking insane."

"I only see one person loosing their cool here, Sherry." Charlie said stonily.

"Fuck this! I don't need this shit." She went get her purse then stormed out the building.

Me and Edward blinked at each other for a moment. A small unexpected smile crept up my mouth.

Edward cocked a brow, but he was smiling slightly too. "What's so funny?"

"You handled yourself expertly, Cullen."

He looked down almost bashfully as he scratched his neck, shrugging. "I tried. I did let stuff get out of hand, huh?"

I shrugged. "Like you said, things changed rapidly for you. You explained that clearly enough. You just seem to have an...altering effect on women."

"Yea, it seems that way." He gazed, a little dazed, at the door.

"It's true." He looked to me quizzically. "I've witnessed it."

"When?" He asked, truly perplexed.

"At the club with those two girls."

"Oh, them?" He waved me off with a _pff _sound. "They're like that with everyone, trust me."

It wasn't that difficult to believe actually. "Fine then. Me."

He blinked but smiled. "Do I really?"

I just looked at him. "I figured that it was obvious."

He shrugged. "Well, I figured I'd pestered you enough into liking me."

"How self-effacing of you." I said sarcastically.

He smiled again, kissing my cheek softly as he whispered next to my ear, "You've altered me too, Bella. And I've never been happier."

* * *

"You're here!" Alice bounded out the door to hug us both.

I patted her back awkwardly as Edward squeezed both of us.

"Supper's ready. Come in. Come in!" She ushered us into their small but impeccably decorated apartment.

Jasper was standing in the middle of the living room. "Hello, we're glad you've decided to come." He shook both of our hands as he said this.

"Hurry." Alice said urgently, bouncing on her toes. "Before it gets cold."

"You just put it out, love." Jasper said gently.

"I know." She said, rolling her eyes. "It's the perfect temperature _right now_."

Edward and Jasper gave each long suffering looks, smiling. "We should indulge her." Edward said.

"Yes," Jasper agreed, "it looks like it'll have to be that way."

"_Hey, _I'm right here." She stomped her foot, smiling too.

"Of course, dear." He lead her to the dinning table behind their couch. "We'd never imagine forgetting your presence." He winked behind her.

"I know your winking, Jasper."

Jasper's eyes flashed wide-open comically before he turned and murmured something in her ear.

"Yea, uh-huh. Sit down, mister. I'll deal with you later." It sounded more of a promise then a threat. A promise Jasper looked excited about.

I looked away uncomfortably, feeling as if I was intruding on a moment.

Edward touching my elbow softly made me jump. Making no big deal out of him startling me, he pulled a chair out for me. I sat down and smiled at Alice and Jasper. "It smells good, Alice." I said as I placed a napkin on my lap.

"It is." She said more confident than cocky. "Dig in."

I did and forced myself not to gorge myself. The angel hair, creamy paste was buttery heaven in my mouth. The broccoli and cheese were the best couple I'd ever met. "What are you going to school for again?" I asked Alice.

"Design."

"It should be culinary." I said as I twirled more noodles onto my fork as Edward nodded his assent, his mouth too full to speak.

She giggled. "Thank you."

The guys started talking about something big happening in the news that I was clueless about.

Alice looked to me as she whipped her mouth with a napkin. "Where are you from, Bella?"

I almost immediately said Phoenix, but barely stopped myself. "Tacoma."

"_Really?!_" She said this as if it was the most exciting piece of information she'd ever heard. "I have cousin's that live there. What school did you go to?"

"Foss High." Both of the guys had stopped talking at this point, listening instead.

"_Wow!_" She clapped excitedly. "That's where my cousins went too."

"What are the odds?" I mumbled eyes flicking to Edward who looked cool as a cucumber.

"I know right. What year did you graduate?"

"2008."

"_Holy crud—_"

"Let me guess, one of you're cousins graduated that year too."

"How'd you know?" She trilled.

"Lucky guess."

"He's name's Benjamin Brandon—Benni for short. Do you know him?"

I shrugged. "Big school." I'd done my homework, with Edward's help of course.

Alice nodded, excepting this lame excuse. "So, are you going to college?"

I shook my head, drinking water so I didn't have to speak.

"You've finished?"

I shook my head. "Never went."

That made her pause for a second, but she smiled fast. "What do you do then?"

"Right now I work at Charlie's."

"We love that place." She said, looking to Jasper. He nodded. "How long have you been working there?"

"A couple of weeks." I really wasn't contributing much to this conversation. That didn't deter Alice one bit. She acted as if I was the must pleasurable company. Part of her personality, I'd pegged.

She nodded. "What where you doing before that?"

I came up blank in the lying department.

Edward swooped in. "She's been traveling."

Alice's eye lit up. "How interesting! Where?"

Jasper stayed silent, nodding and smiling mostly in an almost eery way. I was just psyching myself out. Since that was most likely just part of his personality as well. Him and Alice seemed so mismatched as a couple. Proving to me that opposites attracting wasn't the tripe I'd imagined it was.

"Over seas." I lied quickly, immensely grateful for Edward's help. Images from the Cullen's travel book came to my mind. "Europe. France mostly. Paris was the last place I went before coming back."

"Ooh, you're _sooo_ lucky!" Alice gushed, leaning closer to me. "I've always wanted to go there, the fashion's to _die_ for!"

"It's lovely there." It wasn't hard to fake the admiration.

Alice leaned back, looking to Edward then me. "How do you know each other?"

Me and Edward looked to one another. "Mutual friends." Edward said.

"Funny, cause we have the same friends and I've never seen or heard of you Bella." Jasper finally spoke.

Edward's reply was at the ready. "Of my parents—people you're parents wouldn't know." He added before Jasper could say anything.

Jasper nodded, not looking completely convinced.

Alice saying, "How about a game!" gleefully reversed the attention off of me and Edward. I really could've kissed her tiny little head for that.

Me and Edward answered, "Sure." in unison.

"_Yay!_" Alice popped up from the chair.

We all followed suit, Jasper and Edward going to pick up the dirty dishes.

"No, no, leave them. I'll clean it later. Come on!"

Shrugging, the boys put the dishes down.

We all went to the living room space as Alice literally skipped into the back of the apartment. Me and Edward sat on an emerald love seat as Jasper lowered onto a small yellow chair. Each piece of furniture looked as if they'd came from an English manner.

"Here we go," Alice chirped as she came back in from the hallway with a white box in tow. She perched on Jasper's lap after laying the box with a character covering laughing lips and the word Taboo written on the cover. Immediately, Jasper's arm latched around her middle in an almost unconscious way.

I read the title out loud in a questioning tone.

"It's simple and is a _blast_." She assured me before commencing to explaining the point of the game. We would be in teams of two. "This is so exciting! We've never been able to play couples with Edward before."

Edward wrinkled his nose at Alice, smiling at me.

My cheeks warmed, both slightly embarrassed and extremely pleased.

The game was challenging, but fun. Edward, the human thesaurus I wasn't aware of him being, was the best at calling out the words. We played four different rounds. Each couple winning equal amounts.

We left not long after ten pm, after promising to come again soon.

Taking my hand as we walked to the Blazer, Edward kissed my palm. "Did you have fun?"

I smiled up at him. "Yes. I like them very much."

He smiled back. "Good. They feel the same."

"Really?"

He nodded as he opened the door for me.

"How do you know?" I asked as I slid onto the seat.

"They told me." He answered, closing the door before I could ask another question.

"When?" I asked right as he opened the driver's side door.

He chuckled as he closed the door. "When you went to the restroom on the second round of the game."

I blushed slightly. "Oh. They didn't keep questioning you about how we know each other. Jasper seemed suspicious."

"No." Edward assured as he drove down the dark road. "They except that my parents know other people that their's don't."

"Why don't they except the same about you?" I asked more curious than upset.

He shrugged. "Because we run in the same circle of friends."

"You have no friends outside of their acquaintance?"

"Besides you, no."

"Interesting."

He shrugged. "It's been that way since I can remember."

"It sounds nice."

"It is. We're all family. And now you're a part of it."

My rib cage felt flighty from this declaration. "Thank you." I whispered as tears threatened.

I saw a flash of white as he smiled in the dim moonlight as he entwined my hand with his free one. "Are you ready for the second part of the night?"

Just then I noticed we weren't going in the usual direction to the ferries. I sat up straighter. "Where are we going?"

"That's a surprise."

* * *

"Nice surprise." I said in hushed awe as Seattle's lights spun _very_ slowly below us.

He grinned ear to ear. "Want a drink?"

"Sure."

Edward went to the bar after he lead me to a table, coming back shortly with our drinks.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome." He said as he scotched his chair right next to mine.

"This is...amazing." As I craned my neck to see further down. _Amazing_ didn't nearly describe the magnitude of what I was feeling, but that was all that came to mind. I looked at him. "You planned this, didn't you?"

He smiled impishly, saying nothing.

I smacked his shoulder. "You did."

Grabbing my hand with lightning speed, he held it against his chest. I blinked at him in silent alarm, a smirk tugging my mouth. My short lived smirk fell once I felt his quickened heart beating against my hand. Everything muffled and blurred around me as I became acutely aware of him. Absorbed in his presence. In the physical aspect of him, yes, but more so in just _him_. That special thing deeply embedded inside that made him unique from everyone else.

"I'm sorry about today." Him murmuring only half snapped me out of the brewing hex.

"What?" I asked dumbly, completely blanking.

"With Sherry. How she treated you." He frowned at the memory. "That was my fault. She was angry at me. I should've taken her aside first thing this morning and tried to explain things better." He shook his head, rueful. "Why she targeted her anger at you, I still have no clue."

I shrugged. "I didn't take it personally. I knew where her anger really laid."

"In me." He said simply as he nodded, hand still cupping mine pressed to his shirt.

"Yes. But also herself."

"Huh?" His eyebrows shot up as he looked at me in puzzlement.

I elaborated. "Her resentment for you was obvious and not fully unjustified." He winced slightly but nodded in agreement. "But I also saw self-loathing."

"Are you sure?" His brows knotted together as he searched through his memories. "I don't remember seeing that."

"Trust me." I said gravely. "I've witnessed it _numerous_ times."

Edward's eyes turned somber. I'd dampened the mood again. Me and my past, such rip-roaring company.

"But anyways..." I said after I finished sipping the bubbly cocktail Edward had given me, quick to switch the subject. "What's done is done. You didn't handle the situation the best but at least you tried. If Sherry can't except you're explanation then there's nothing you can do about it."

He scratched his head, still frowning slightly. "Yea, I guess you're right. I still can't help but think that I shouldn't have begged Charlie for a job. If I hadn't _that_ wouldn't have happened this morning."

"That's a _big_ if, Edward. What, would you not have gone to Charlie's ever again either?"

"Of course not." Edward answered as if I'd just asked if he liked to do a little jig with just a pink tutu on.

"Well then I think it's safe to say that no matter what you were gonna have to deal with her sometime in your future."

"Again you're right, but maybe—"

"Please." I cut him off. "Enough with the _what if_'s. There's nothing either of us can do about them right now anyways."

He smiled compliantly. "I'm sorry. It's just bothering me."

Placing my drink on the table, I put my now free hand on top of his that was still holding my hand to his chest. "That's what makes you a good person, Edward. Always doing the right thing or being perfect—if there really is such a thing—doesn't make you good. Self-condemnation isn't just something to get people to bible school heaven, it's what makes you become a better person. Once you've lost your guilt, you're doomed."

Edward blinked in dumbfound wonder. "Well said."

"Thank you."

His voice lowered as his eyes grew tender. "You're an amazingly brilliant woman, Isabella Swan."

Laying his drink down, he kissed me as his fingers scooped under my hair. Our other three hands still forged over his heart. I had a moment to worry about people watching, but it was short-lived as I became blissfully lost. In the kiss. In him. In the moment—in all the moments we'd previously shared together. In all the other moments I wanted to share with him.

I could fell myself falling. (Not literally of course, but the conceptual felt just as real. If not scarier.) Falling for this beautiful, kind-spirited man. Powerless to stop it.

Even if I could accrue the ability to fight it somehow, I wouldn't dream of using it.

* * *

_**Edward took Bella to the Space Needle on the last part.**_


	18. A Crash of Sorrows

_And all the roads we have to walk along are winding_

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

_There are many things that I would _

_Like to say to you_

_Because maybe _

_You're gonna be the one who saves me_

_And after all_

_You're my wonderwall_

_-Wonderwall_ by Oasis

(Edward)

I was a goner. Lost at sea. No floatation device in site. Green waters surrounded me. I lapped in them contently.

It had been a month now and life was good. Better than good actually. Bella wasn't nearly as jittery anymore. At least not around me. I could damn near scream _boo_ behind her unexpectedly now without any of her muscles tweaking.

We still hadn't crumbled to temptation. _Marginally_. Though my body still reacted very strongly to really any sort of contact with her, it was becoming somewhat easier to manage. I couldn't take all the credit, if any of it. A force far beyond my brain capacity had to have been intervening. Every second I spent with her was worth it, even if my brain felt like it would spontaneously combust sometimes.

Today was the Fourth of July. Later tonight we were going to the Lake Union fireworks show. At the moment, we were having a barbecue at Rose and Emmett's since it was walking distance from the lake. Everyone was excited, especially Riley. His little towhead zoomed around the backyard all day, a sparkler permanently attached to his hand. Once the thing would die out, he'd run to his dad, pouting silently until he was refueled. Then he was off in a flash again.

Standing on the patio, I watched Bella sitting on the lone wooden swing hanging from the oak tree watching him with the sweetest smile, looking both delighted and sad. The sad was confusing to me, but I decided to wait until later to ask her about it.

Renee and Charlie joined us too. Renee basically should've moved into the old man's apartment with as much as she stayed there. She was still debating if she was going to move from Phoenix to here. I knew all this because Esme told me. Alice and Jasper had afternoon plans with their family but we would meet up before the fireworks started.

Riley rushed up to Bella, sliding to a halt before her. "Hi."

Bella smiled at him. "Hello."

"What's your name?"

"Bella."

"I'm Riley. I'm four."

"That's a good number."

He beamed proudly. "How old are you?"

"Twenty three."

His pristine blue eyes widened. "That's close to Pie."

"Pie?" She asked titling her head at him.

He pointed straight at me.

Bella looked at me. I waved, she half waved before she focused back on Riley.

"Have you been to the ocean?" Riley was going on.

Bella shook her head. "Nope."

This was blasphemy to Riley's ears. "You have to. It's the best!"

"I'll put that on my list." Bella said with a nod.

"What list?" Now Riley was titling his head.

"Of things to do." Bella answered.

Riley's eyes livened. "I wanna make one too!"

Bella smiled. "What would be on yours?"

He thought about it, finger to check as he tapped his tiny foot. "_Ooh,_ I wanna go to space." He pointed up as high as he could reach, standing on his tip-toes.

"Space? That's awfully far." Bella said looking up. "Wouldn't you miss your mom and dad."

Riley nodded. "Yea, but I'd come back." He said this with conviction only children could pull off.

"Then space sounds like it should be number one on your list."

He nodded vigorously, whole face lighting up. "It is."

"Would you like to swing?" Bella asked as she got off.

He nodded again, bowl cut bobbing.

"Here, hop up. I'll push you."

Shimmying onto the flat wood, Riley held onto the ropes, sparkler dead in the grass long forgotten.

Bella leaned closer to him. "Are you ready for lift off?"

He squealed, "_Yes_." as he kicked his dangling feet.

She counted down to one as she slowly lifted him further back, letting go with loud space craft sounds. Riley laughed gleefully as he zoomed up towards the sky. Once he came back to her, she pushed his back softly, sending him back to space.

"Watch out for the astroids, Riley."

"It's okay! I have a lazar!" He went to pewing and powing them away.

"She's good with kids." Rose said to my side.

I looked to her, then back to them. "Yea."

"I've never seen Riley take to someone like that."

I smiled. "That's because he has a six sense about people."

Rose patted my shoulder. "Then you found yourself a _really _good one, little bro."

"I know."

(Isabella (Saver) Swan)

"Are you sure we'll get a spot?" I asked as we walked through the crowd. Edward and me hand in hand, everyone else right behind.

I heard Alice before I saw her hands flailing about. Once we reached her, she seized me into a hug, giving everyone else one in return. She picked Riley up. "Ready, big guy?"

"YES!" He cried out with abandon.

She laughed as she tickled his side. "Come on then. Jasper's waiting."

We followed her until we reached Jasper. Four other people around Esme and Carlisle's age stood with him. I learned they were Jasper and Alice's parents once we were introduced.

Everyone else greeted each other with big hugs and even bigger smiles. So much happiness and love being exchanged between them to the point of infectious.

Suddenly a booming sound echoed from across the lake. My feet left the ground as I jumped, Edward's hand grabbing mine tethering me back to earth. Large bursts of color continuously flashed and sizzled away, electing _Ooh_'s and _Ahh_'s from the spectators. Children's laughter being the only thing you could hear over it.

This whole day, starting with Riley and ending here, sent me somewhere else. Somewhere totally new. A place where I was a normal girl with no terrible past. Where I was just another person being transcended by the flashing display. Edward's ever steady company at my side, finalizing just how right the world could be.

Edward looked down at me and I looked back, lost in each others eyes. In that moment, right there with him. I felt whole. I felt okay. I felt complete. I felt hopeful. Necessary. Worthy. I never wanted to be separated from him again.

Edward kissed my forehead softly. I closed my eyes as I absorbed the feeling.

Something caught my attention as I opened my eyes.

Mike Newton.

He was holding something in his hand. A gun, I realized as my vision focused. It was pointed right at Edward. I had a gun at my side since my permit had passed, but I didn't have enough time to even get it out because Mike's finger was ready at the trigger. Immediately I hugged Edward. Him, still oblivious, hugged me back as the bullet pierced my shoulder blade.

Such blinding pain. I couldn't help the ear-splitting scream.

Edward's hold tightened as his confused eye's skittered around my face. Then he was crying instantly once he realized what was happening. "Why did you do that?" He asked frantically, as he lowered me to the ground.

Everything started happening in slow motion as I craned my neck backwards, seeing good citizens tackling Mike and rushing towards me before faces and voices started to meld together confusingly.

"Bella, _Bella_." Edward's voice echoing my name loudly was the only clear thing.

I looked up, seeing two of him. "Hmm."

My shoulder had become numb now. A had a fleeting moment to think that couldn't be good, but lost track of the worry quickly.

"Stay with me!" Edward hollered as he pushed on my chest. "I love you." He said after blowing air in my lungs. "I love you so much." A myriad of tears streaming down his beautiful face was the last thing I saw before the world turned black.

(Edward)

Light burned my eyes as Esme cracked open the blinds. I covered my eyes, groaning.

"Have you ate dear?" She asked softly.

I shrugged as I looked to Bella's still form on the hospital bed, IV's and tubes strapped to her in every which direction. He heart beat still steady on the machine the most beautiful piece of music I'd ever heard. The bullet had just missed her heart. The doctors worked on her well through the late morning. They didn't say it, but I knew by their faces they'd almost lost her.

It had been three days now, still she was in a coma. The doctors were optimistic she'd wake up, when she was ready. Until then, I wouldn't leave her side. No matter how worried it made everyone else.

I would've killed Newton myself if Bella's life slipping away hadn't been so much more important. I let the police handle his ass. Carlisle said Jones was taking an extra special interest in him. Said Newton wouldn't see the light of day where he was going. If Bella didn't wake up, I wouldn't be much better off.

Esme lifted up the cover of the lunch the nurse had brought in two hours ago. "You should eat, Edward. You're not helping Bella by starving yourself."

"I know." I muttered. "I just want her to wake up, mom."

Sad eyes softening, Esme walked to me, hunching down and holding my hand. "I know, dear. And she will. She's strong."

I nodded, knowing that. But somethings a strong-will couldn't concur everything. I didn't voice this, not seeing a point in upsetting Esme anymore. "What's on the plate?" I asked.

"Oh, that's too cold. I'll go get you something." She said standing up.

"No need." Came Charlie's voice.

We both looked to the door.

Renee and Charlie walked inside the room. Renee's eyes bloodshot and face tight. Charlie looked sleep deprived himself, holding a brown baggie. "Got you some grub kid."

"Thanks." I mumbled as I took the bag. I bit into the sandwich, chewing stuff I didn't taste. I kept eating to make everyone happy. There was enough reason to be sad in this room, I didn't want to add to it.

"How...is she?" Renee asked through a tear ragged throat as she stared at Bella.

"Stable." I answered as I threw away my trash.

Just then Dr. Yorkie, Esme's twin brother, came in. "Eric." Esme said, walking to him.

They hugged. "How's the trooper?" He asked with Esme still under his arm, looking fondly upon Bella.

"Same." I answered as I stood. "When do you think she'll wake up?"

He hesitated. "I can't be certain. Could be today could be next week. But I'll say, I've never heard a heart more determined than hers."

As uplifting as that statement was, it still wasn't the answer I was looking for. I sat down, looking back to Bella.

My uncle walked up to me, laying a hand on my shoulder. "We're extremely positive about her recovery."

I nodded woodenly. "Thank you."

"I'll be back later to check on her." He said before he squeezed my shoulder and left the room.

Alice and Jasper came in shorty after. Jasper's eyes looked even more sorrowful than usual and Alice was a wreck. Though she tried to contain it, her whole body was shaking with it. Her normally talkative self, speechless.

"What've the doctors said?" Asked Jasper, putting down a flower arrangement on the windowsill.

"Positive but unsure at the same time." I answered as we shook hands and hugged.

Alice hugged me next, her little arms constricting.

Jasper pulled her away, letting her squeeze the air out of him instead.

Esme group hugged them. "Thanks for coming and for the flowers. They are beautiful."

Alice sniffled. "It's from our parents too."

"Send them our love, please." Esme said as she kissed both of their cheeks and stepped away.

Everyone stayed a couple of more hours, subdued conversation sparse. Rose and Emmett didn't come. They were still trying to calm Riley down. Rose called Esme a lot, saying Riley kept asking about his rocket buddy. I talked to him finally, me oddly being the only thing to settle him. I story-booked up what was happening to Bella. Elaborating that she got hurt and her body needed a rest. Riley was absolutely adamant that I'd call him the moment she woke up. Not even a single doubt in his mind. Hearing his optimistic little voice helped me more than I'd imagined it would've.

Jasper and Alice left first. Charlie and Renee not long after. My mom lingered, tidying up the room she didn't need to.

"Do you need me to stay, love?"

I shook my head. "No, mom. I'm okay. Really." I added when she looked uncertain.

She kissed my cheek. "Okay. Me and your father are staying at Rose and Emmett's to be closer. If you need_ anything_, call."

I nodded, kissing her back. "Love you."

"I love you too, dear. Try to get some rest." It took her a good twelve more minutes to actually leave the room as he eyes kept flicking back to me worriedly.

"Go, mom." I said softly.

She left with great reluctance.

* * *

I wasn't alone for more than an hour when Carlisle walked in.

I stood out of respect.

"Son." He said walking to me and pulling me into a hug. Not asking anything, just holding fast.

I broke than, grabbing the back of his shirt and stretching the fabric as I cried like a baby.

That night was rough.

Demons chased me out of every forced dreamed. Mike Newton being the main one. How one small thing could give someone such ultimate power to alter people's lives. A bullet no bigger than my thumbnail wrecking havoc on Bella's and my insides.

Unable to lay down for another second, I stood. Walking to the window, I opened the blinds and looked out at the blurry city lights. The streets bustling below and the nurse milling outside the door so loud I'd be surprised if sedated patients could sleep.

The lowest mewing sound vibrated passed my eardrums like thunder. I whipped around and rushed to the bed. Grabbing Bella's hand, I leaned in. "Bella. _Bella?" _


	19. Time to Reunite

**A/N: **I made up the weight lifting restriction. If it's correct that's a lucky guess on my part. The other things about gun wounds and recovery, I looked up.

_The green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you_

_And how could, anybody, deny you_

_I came here with a load_

_And it feels so much lighter now I met you_

_And honey you should know_

_That I could never go on without you_

_Green eyes_

_Honey you are the sea_

_Upon which I float_

_-Green Eyes_ by Coldplay

(Isabella (Survivor) Swan)

I swam through sludge. The stuff thick and clingy. Where was I? What had happened? What day was it? Just before this moment, I thought I was in the hot tub with Edward. _Edward_. Where was he? I tried to call out his name, but my mouth wouldn't open. Panic overrode me. _I couldn't speak_. What was wrong with me? Was I dead? That seemed highly likely. But where was the white light? All I saw was endless black. I could also feel my body, but couldn't control it. An unbreakable prison.

Someone grabbed my hand, sending a jolt to my nervous system. It was Edward. _He was here._ I could hear him. He was saying my name over and over again, squeezing my hand. I tired to speak again. Refusing to give up. I kicked and thrashed, banging against my inner cage. Edward's voice being the lifeline I reached for. Now he was kissing my face. My eyelids. My cheeks. My nose. Then my lips. My body finally responded, returning the pressure.

I felt droplets of water hit my face. He was crying. I moved my hand up with great struggle to touch his forearm. His whole body convulsed as his tongue married mine.

"Is this real?" He whispered against my lips. "Am I dreaming?"

Still unable to speak, I pinched him. He yelped a little, laughing in shock. Then his lips found mine again, his shaky hands cupping my face oh-so-gently. I lifted my other hand high enough to touch his hip. My body slowly came to as the kiss grew in intensity. This was a kiss like none we'd ever shared. So much was packed into it. Joy. Sadness. Fear. Reassurance. Promise. Declaration. Desperation.

Edward lifted away, gasping for air, staying very close.

I pushed words out of my scratchy throat. "What happened?"

I could see terror in his eyes even through the dim lighting. His voice was remarkably calm when he said, "You don't remember anything?"

I went to say no, but stopped. Twisting my mouth, I muddled through foggy, twisting memories. "Fireworks."

He nodded, relief instantaneous. "Yes. We were at the Fourth of July fireworks show. Do you remember anything else?"

This answer didn't take nearly as long. "Mike Newton." Once I said his name, everything came crashing back. I gripped at him. "He shot me. What day is it?"

"July seventh, almost the eighth." That was somewhat relieving news.

I loosened my grip slightly as something else came to memory. "You said you loved me."

He smiled at me. "I did."

My brows came together. "Did you mean it? Are were you just saying that because you thought I was going to die?"

He went to open his mouth, then shut it. Sitting at my side, he took my hand in his and laid it on his knee. "A little of both." Looking down at our hands, he traced mine as if it was a precious artifact.

"Elaborate, please."

His still wet eyes met mine. "I love you, Bella. Have for some time. I just didn't want to scare you away. I wanted you to know in case..." He trailed off, not able to finish as a sob choked him.

I brought my other hand to his elbow, holding tight as I whispered. "I love you too."

He closed his eyes as a euphoric smile stretched his face. His smile flattened as his eyes popped open. Clutching my hand on his knee in both of his, he gave me a hard look. "Don't _ever _do that again."

I frowned at him. "I couldn't let you die."

He wasn't having it, shaking his head. "If you die, Bella, there'd be no point in living."

"I feel the same way about you." I argued.

We both stared at each other mulishly.

Edward broke first, laying his head against the unwounded side of my chest softly. He breathed in deeply as if he'd been suffocating and could just then take in air. Reaching up after a moment, he pressed the red button with a white cross on it. A loud beeping sounded above us, "Yes?" A female voice asked.

"She's awake." Edward answered

Many people were in the room seconds later. Busy as bees. Swarming around me with purpose. Firing away questions left and right as they poked and prodded me. Edward had stepped back to give them room, but stayed in my sights as he called people on his phone. His mother being the first one.

Not thirty minutes later, Dr. Yorkie was in the room. He resembled Esme and Edward greatly.

"He's my uncle." Edward answered my questioning look.

The doctor smiled brightly down at me. "Call me Eric. I owe you a great service for saving my nephew, Isabella."

"Let me know if I can walk again and consider us even."

He chuckled along with Edward. "Yes, ma'am." He proceeded to examine me. "Everything looks good, but we'll have to wait just a little longer before we try walking."

I frowned.

He smiled at me. "Don't be discouraged, you'll be up and moving in no time."

Edward hugged him tightly before he left. "Thank you."

Eric cupped his neck with a smile. "No thanks needed." He looked to me as they pulled away. "I'll be back in the morning and we'll work on getting you on your feet again."

"Thanks doc."

He winked with a wave before exiting the room.

Edward came to me, leaning over with a chaste kiss to my lips. "Rest now." He said as he stood upright.

"I'm afraid."

He titled his head. "Why?"

I looked down as Mike Newton's face flashed before my eyes.

His eyes grew sad and understanding. "What if I lay with you? Would that help?"

I nodded, lifting up the covers to my side where no IV's were.

He chuckled lowly as he slide under with care. I snuggled under his arm as he adjusted my hair to where his arm wouldn't pull it, fanning the nappy locks over his bicep and the squishy pillow. He kissed my forehead softly, leaning his cheek against my temple as he murmured, "I love you."

"I love you too." I pressed my head closer.

"Sleep."

I listened to the command almost immediately, sleeping calmly for the rest of the night. Edward's feel and smell being the most wonderful wake up call.

* * *

Dr. Yorkie stayed to his word, having me first walk around with a walker than holding on to the side rails on the walls until I could support myself. This all happened in a matter of a day. Mostly because I pushed for it. They all wanted me to rest. Especially Edward. I was in a considerable amount of pain, but they supplied me with a hefty amount of medication for it so I was rearing to go.

I was out of the hospital within another ten days, sporting a sling I'd have to tot around for a another three months. I would've skipped out of the place if it wouldn't have jeopardized the healing process. Edward looked like sunlight was a foreign concept to him as well. He wasn't medically obligated to stay in the room, but that didn't stop him from doing just that. Esme brought all his necessities and even packing me some stuff. Like shorts and really loss tank tops. She was a saint and I told her so.

Tears broke then as she hugged me gently. I patted her back as I gave Edward confused eyes. He shrugged, looking as if he knew exactly what the problem was.

She pulled away after a moment, wiping under her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." I said. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Everything's been so much...with how close it had come to being bad." She shook her head out, touching my cheek. "I should be catering to your every whim, Bella, for saving my only son. And still you show me such gratitude."

I shrugged, averting my eyes. Uncomfortable with the heroism. "If it wasn't for you, I never would've had a chance to save Edward."_ If it wasn't for me, Edward wouldn't have been shot at._ I didn't share that aloud. Though Edward seemed to read it off my face just fine as his eyes narrowed at me.

He waited until we were alone to confront it. "You blame yourself." It wasn't even a question.

I looked away as I combed my hair, saying nothing.

"Bella."

"_Fine_." I snapped as a kept tugging at my hair. "Yes, there is a part of me that keeps thinking if not for me, he wouldn't have had any reason to want to shoot you."

He scoffed, coming to the hospital bed and taking the comb from my hands gently. "Newton has and will always hate me, you coming into the picture didn't change anything." His voice and hands on my hair were soft as he spoke.

I frowned in the other direction. "Yes, but—"

"If we're going to play the blame game," Edward interrupted, "You would've never met Newton if I hadn't brought you to the club."

I whirled my neck around to look at him. "It's not you're fault."

"Exactly." Edward agreed. I blinked in surprise as he went on. "Just as much as it isn't yours. Newton's a sick individual. Worse off mentally then I'd even realized." His eyes grew grim and distance as he remembered the night of the shooting. "Yes, events that could've possibly been avoided lead to this happening." He pointed to my shoulder as he said _this_. "But we had no way of knowing about any of them. No more self-blaming. From either of us." He tacked on the last part after I gave him a look.

"Deal." I put my hand out.

With a smiled, he took it. After a short shake, he kissed each of my finger tips.

That was five days ago. Now we were back at his parents. Me still on strict orders to do no strenuous work what-so-ever. Apparently lifting anything over five pounds was under that category. This meant bye-bye to Charlie's for weeks, even though I could've easily got away working there without heavy lifting. I couldn't sway Dr. Yorkie no matter how hard I tried either, which was everyday before I was discharged.

At home, they all treated me like royalty, which quickly worked on my nerves.

I finally had to put my foot down. Telling them to back off in the politest way possible.

Esme looked slightly hurt but smiled over it, still hugging me before she left the room. Carlisle smiled at me before he followed his wife.

Edward walked to me. I lifted my chin up, it didn't feel nearly as sturdy as I portrayed it to be. "Take it easy on them." Edward said as he trailed the back of his fingers down my cheek, soft eyes gazing into mine.

I pursed my lips in a grimace. "I didn't mean to hurt their feelings. I just couldn't take being treated like that for one more second."

"Like what?" He inquired quizzically.

"As if you were my servants." The last word tasted bitter in my mouth.

His eyes impossibly softened even more as he tucked hair behind my ears. "You deserve it though."

"No. I don't."

"You deserve the world, Bella." He said as he stepped closer, fingers gliding through my hair.

"Why?" I frowned at him. "Because I saved you?"

He shook his head as he looked at me with such reverence. "Because you are you and that's worth more than you could even imagine."

The least poetic words I'd ever heard filled me with such intense emotions. We were kissing before I'd even become aware of it. I went to wrap my arms around his neck but was deterred by the sling. I had to settle for holding his outer arms.

Edward's kiss spoke volumes about his feelings, sealing everything he'd ever said to me with his lips. I professed back with a fever. Lapping up what he offered as if it was essential to my survival.

I pressed closer to his body as a low growl rumbled from inside his chest. I wanted him fiercely and recklessly. Right then. Where we stood, which was in the family room.

He pulled away too soon and I whimpered, pouting as he stepped away.

He chuckled as he huffed for air, his intense eyes latching to mine. "Not now."

"Why not?" I actually stomped my foot like child.

His eyes became slightly unfocused but he quickly shook himself out. "Because you just got out of the hospital and are still in the early stages of recovery. I won't jeopardized that, Bella." He said finitely.

"Fine." I grumbled.

He smiled at me as he whispered his promise, "Soon."

I hung onto that word as if it was my only ticket to heaven.


	20. Connection of Souls

_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful_

_Stop me and steal my breath_

_And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky_

_Never revealing their depth_

_Tell me that we belong together_

_Dress it up with the trappings of love_

_I'll be captivated_

_I'll hang from your lips_

_Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_

_I'll be your crying shoulder_

_I'll be love's suicide_

_I'll be better when I'm older_

_I'll be the greatest fan of you life_

_-I'll Be _by Edwin McCain

(Isabella (Lover) Swan)

Soon had a totally different meaning to Edward than me. Because it had been four months now and nada. Not even third base stuff. I was back at Charlie's, sling-less and almost fully recovered. My weight restriction had changed to twenty pounds and my shoulder didn't hurt nearly as much anymore. Still Edward found reasons not to. Lousy ones really.

When had I changed my mind about being with Edward? I wasn't sure. All I knew was if something didn't happen soon, I would surely lose my mind. Every minute spent with him only strengthening my feelings.

Esme and Carlisle would be out the whole night for a charity event at the Crown Plaza in Downtown Seattle tonight. They could've came home but by some twist of fate they'd decided to get a hotel room. And Renee was of course at Charlie's. We'd never had an opportunity such as this.

I wasn't shy about telling Edward exactly that either.

He smiled, shaking his head slowly.

I frowned at him. "Why not?"

"You're making this difficult, Bella." He warned.

I crossed my arms. "I don't care. Answer the question, Edward."

He started to pace, releasing pent-up tension no doubt. "Because you're doing so well."

"And?" I asked slowly, missing the point.

He froze, turning to me. "_And_ I'm worried about it affecting you...negatively."

Everything started to click together as I saw what he wasn't sharing. "You're afraid I'll remember _them_." Aro, Tubby and even Mike were understood.

He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably as he nodded.

I stepped forward until we were inches from touching. "That won't happen."

His dilated eyes were fixated on mine. "Are you sure?"

Taking his face in my hands, I slowly lead him closer to my lips. "Positive." I murmured right before our lips merged.

That unleashed him completely as he lifted me up suddenly. I gasped in surprise, lips never leaving his, as I wrapped my legs around his waist. In seconds we were in his room and on the bed_. It was finally happening._ It felt almost surreal. I half wanted to pinch myself but got distracted my Edward sitting between my legs.

I breathed in jaggedly as I watched him. He sat fully clothed, making no move to touch me. He just simply watched me watching him.

"What are you doing?" I asked impatiently.

"Remembering." He answered before he slowly stretched over me in an almost push-up position. "I love you." He whispered softly.

"I love you too." My tone shifted quickly to tender.

He traced my collar bone under my shirt. The simplest act turning my bones to mush. "If it becomes too much at _any_ point, say something."

I nodded, licking my lips.

"I'm serious." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Don't stay quiet because you feel guilty about making me stop."

"Okay. I promise."

Satisfied I was telling the truth, he pulled out a box of condoms.

"Do you have something?"

His shocked eyes snapped to me. "No. Why?"

I nodded to the box.

He looked to it then back to me. "That's more for pregnancy prevention." He said slowly.

"Don't worry. I cannot become pregnant."

His eyebrows shoot up. "At all?"

I shook my head.

"Medical?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Procedural."

He became instantly upset. "_He_ made you?"

"No. I requested it."

"Why?" His anger dissipated as he titled his head.

"Too many forced abortions."

His eyes moistened with sadness. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." I cupped his face as I looked into his eyes. "We just don't need them."

He nodded slowly, eyes still wet as he kissed me soft as a feather. Popping up, he guided me to sit up as he lifted my shirt up. Our eyes never lift one another's until the shirt covered my face. His eyes found mine soon after the shirt was thrown and forgotten. Starting from the middle of my bra, he trailed a finger all the way down to my belly button, sending shocks of shivers through my entire body.

Unlatching the back of the bra, I pulled off the straps and dropped the garment. Edward blinked rapidly as his eyes zeroed downwards, finger frozen on my belly and breathing in sharply through his teeth. All sadness vanished from his eyes as passion dominated. His shirt was gone in the blink of an eye.

We smiled at each other as we kneeled upwards in unison. Our unclothed chest converging as we kissed each other as if we'd been separated for years. Feeling his skin against mine was the most incredible thing. It felt as if our souls were meeting for the first time.

Slowly he lowered me to the bed, cradling my head and back. Our lips forging love as we laid on our sides. He was so impossibly gentle and demanding at the same time. A heady mixture I couldn't resist. Pulling away he kissed my neck and shoulder as he unbuttoned my jeans. I followed his lead as I kissed the dip inbetween his collar bones.

Soon we were only in our underwear, both losing more control with each discarded piece of clothing. Our lips were pulled together by seemingly magnetic forces as we rolled about the bed, alternating from him being on top to me.

Standing at the edge of the bed, Edward slowly pulled my underwear off. His hooded eyes burning into mine the whole time. Whipping his boxers off, he climbed back into bed. Hands started at my feet, they trailed all the way up as he crawled forward. Palms pressed to skin, he traced the outline of my body until he was cradled between my legs completely.

Cupping my face, he looked deeply into my eyes. "Ready?"

I nodded jerkingly as nervousness took over. I wasn't worried about him hurting me. Feeling detached was my main concern.

All trepidation was relinquished as he eased himself in. It was close to a religious experience. So pure. So rich. So _everything._ His body quaked as he closed his eyes tightly. I touched his cheek and his eyes popped open. I smiled sweetly as I caressed his face. He smiled back before kissing me slightly rougher than all the other times.

We moved together as if we were two pieces of one harmonious machine. Momentum and sensations increasing in sublime symmetry. My soul was altered as my vision cleared and blurred at the same time. The world and life so beautiful and true as we were launched into the stratosphere.

* * *

We woke blissfully in each other arms the next morning. Edward kissing my face adoringly.

I stretched, laying my head on his chest as I traced the bumps and curves of his arm.

He hummed contently. "I could stay here all day."

"Me too. But we have to work."

"I could call Charlie," he teased. "Make an excuse."

I smiled, looking up at him. "You underachiever, you."

"I plan on doing everything but underachieving." His eyes heated as his voice lowered.

My body snapped to attention, insides setting fire. I had to slap myself mentally before I was completely lost. "We have to go to work."

He pouted, looking purposefully irresistible, as he kneaded my back in a severely persuasive way.

I swatted his chest, which only excited him more. "I'm serious." I didn't sound it. Breathlessly distracted actually.

"Okay. Breakfast?" He chuckled with a kiss.

The kiss was long and strongly compelling. The sheets twisted around us, wrapping us in a make-shift cocoon as I forgot what we were arguing about. Edward's consuming presence and touch being all I wanted to know.

He pulled away with bright, dilated eyes as he chuckled unsteadily. He flopped down on his back as he his chest worked. My eyes traced his face, determination to go to work nonexistent now.

I kissed the side of his chest very softly.

His eyes caught mine, wide and questioning.

"We do have three more hours before we have to leave." I said with a smirk.

A slow, sexy smile climbed up his face. "_God_, I love you." He declared with a chuckle as he rolled to me, lips claiming mine lusciously as our hands ventured.

We made love many, _many_ times before having to shower, making love yet again in it. I went to work with a damp curly mess of hair and a hazy brain underneath.

* * *

Edward being back in school, got me to thinking. Though working at Charlie's had brought me a newfound sense of self, I couldn't work there forever. The thought of community college played over and over in my head lately. I even looked up some courses. (Now having basic computer savoy thanks to Edward.) None really spoke to me. Most I hadn't even heard of until just recently.

Seeing me frowning at the screen a couple of days later as he walked into the room, Edward asked, "Everything okay?"

I looked to him. "Yea. Just browsing schools."

He smiled. "Great. Did you find something you liked?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

He massaged my shoulder blades. "Don't worry. You will."

I enjoyed him turning my muscles into putty as I closed my eyes.

Just then we heard Esme's voice in the kitchen. She must've thought she was alone, because I doubted seriously she would've had that conversation knowingly in front of me. "Ten year's old. Are you sure?" Long silence. "They keep taking them younger and younger. She's safe now, right? Good. I'll be there."

At this point I was at the kitchen door, Edward behind me.

Clicking the phone shut, Esme turned around and froze, eyes wide. "Bella."

"I want to go with you to see the child." I said not even asking what they were talking about.

Esme's worried eyes looked to Edward then me. "I'm not sure if that's the best idea."

"Please." I said stepping forward and latching her eyes with mine.

She looked back to Edward and I whipped around, narrowing my eyes at him. He watched me for a moment, then looked to his mother. "I don't think this will affect her, mom."

"Of course it won't." I said irritably as I turned back to Esme. "I could help her. Let me try, Esme."

She fought with herself inwardly for a moment, but finally nodded. "I have to warn you, she's hostile."

"How bad?"

"Animal like."

* * *

Esme wasn't exaggerating.

The girl was skin and bones, patches of flesh festering and eyes wild—almost unblinking.

"They found her in the woods near Tiger Mountain." Esme told me as we watched the girl through the glass. "We can't get her name. She won't speak."

I went for the door. Esme gripping my elbow halted me. "Be careful. She's bit two people already."

I looked to her hand then back to her face. "I'll be fine." She let go reluctantly, going to follow me inside. I turned back to her. "Let me try by myself."

This didn't settle well with her at all. "Bella, I can't. It's not safe."

"Trust me. I can take a bit."

She struggled, finally taking a hesitant step back. "I'll be watching and if it gets out of hand, we're getting you out."

I nodded as I walked in, hearing the door automatically lock from the other side as I closed it. I turned towards the girl who was scrunched up in the corner of the room. I stayed motionless as I made eye contact with her. "I'm Bella."

She lifted her lips in a snarl.

"You're safe now. There's no need to be afraid anymore."

She gnashed her teeth. _What had they done to her? _Extreme sadness for the girl and disgust for the creeps that did this to her overrode me.

I lowered to my hunches, back still pressed to the door. "I understand. I was taken too."

That pulled at her attention as her lips fell, covering her teeth.

"I was a slave for eight years. They saved me five months ago."

She scuttled a teensy bit closer.

"When did they take you?"

She paused before she slowly lifted up seven grimy fingers.

"When you were seven-years-old?"

She nodded.

I hid my growing disgust as I softened my eyes. "I was fifteen when they took me."

She inched a little closer till she was in the middle of the room.

I looked at her boney arms. "Did they starve you?"

Sitting down, she started sucking on the ends of her hair as she nodded.

"You won't ever be hungry again." I promised as I held her eyes.

"Do you remember you're name?"

She nodded.

"Can you tell me it?"

She stayed silent for so long I feared she'd lost her ability to speak all together. Finally she opened her dry, crusty lips. "Jane." She said, her voice unnatural sounding. Deep and scratchy. Nothing I'd ever heard come out of a girl her age before.

I smiled at her. "Hello, Jane."

She lifted her hand in a sort of wave.

"Do you have family we could call?"

She shrugged.

I switched tactics as I sat down. "Do you remember your last name?"

She nodded, reverting to bitting her nails.

I smiled as I lowered my voice. "Could you tell me it?"

"Diala." Her voice less scratchy this time but still too deep.

I looked to Esme through the glass, who nodded before making a call.

I stayed with Jane like that for a few more hours. Right before I was about to leave, Jane moved all the way to me. I made sure not to move suddenly as she reached towards me. I lifted my palms up slowly as I watched her carefully. I noticed how similar her eyes were to mine with her being this close. Very slowly, she placed both her hands on top of mine.

She looked down at our hands, then looked back up at me. Her lips half lifted in a smile this time. I smiled back. "Bella." She said. "Will you come back?"

I nodded. "I promise." This time I would be able to adhere to the vow. That fact helped me just as much as it did her.

Right there with her, I found my life purpose. I would help all the taken girls in any way I could. With this realization I felt a steady certainty transpiring inside. As if fate had lead me here. As if everything I went through wasn't pointless. In that moment all the resentment I'd be holding on to dissipated. Never to return again.


	21. Epilogue

_I stand before, a road that will lead_

_Into the unknown_

_At least unknown to me_

_I want to go, but I'm paralyzed with fear_

_Fear of a choice, where the outcome isn't clear_

_No, but still I go_

_And I take, the first step of a million more_

_And I'll make mistakes I've never made before_

_But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward_

_At least I'm moving forward..._

_-Moving Forward_ by Hoobastank

(Isabella Swan)

A year had passed and I'd helped twenty other girls.

Me and Edward had a one bedroom apartment together near the University District. Both still working at Charlie's and hopelessly in love. Because I had the gun attached to me at all times, Edward was slightly less inclined to worry about my safety. Only barely. He still called me every hour on the hour. I also had a sweet, year old pure white pitbull with crystal blue-green eyes for protection, her name was Gemma.

Our apartment was only six blocks away from Charlie and Renee's and it allowed pets. The place was small, but a jewel to me. Me and Edward spilt the bills, so this was the first thing I've ever owned. That alone made it a palace.

I was in the middle of cooking supper when someone's hand covered my mouth. A hand I knew all too well. And it wasn't Edward's.

"Hello, Pet." Aro's revolting voice whispered in my ear.

I stood rigidly as I inched my hand towards the gun hidden at my hip.

"Ah, ah, dear." He warned

My hand froze.

He chuckled. "Did you honestly think you'd ever really get away from me? Silly girl." He caressed my neck and I shuddered as panic reared it's ugly head. "I worked much too hard to get you to have you slip away."

I jerked involuntarily.

He laughed cruelly. "That's right, pet. I'm the reason why you're parents were able to take you. You were mine from the moment they told me about you. You will _always_ be mine and mine alone."

Suddenly Aro was hollering in pain. Then I heard a dog growling and snarling. I was able to wrench out of his hold to see Gemma attacking him to the ground. He was reaching for his gun when I shot him in the forehead. I dropped the gun as I looked at the bloody hole in his head. I watched the life leaving his eyes, lowering to the ground as my knees buckled.

Gemma came up to me, licking my face.

I held her for a long time, burying my face in her neck.

Finally I called Edward, then the police.

Edward barreled into the apartment minutes later. Bypassing Aro's dead body to scoop me up.

"Am I going to jail?" I asked him as he cradled me like a child to our room.

He shook his head. "Absolutely not. You were defending yourself, Bella. And we have a _lot_ of people to vouch for that."

He was right of course. The police damn near wanted to give me a medal for killing the son-of-a-bitch—their words not mine. Though I found it extremely fitting.

Edward held me all that night, kissing me as if he might not ever get the chance again. I wasn't much better. Clinging and kissing him just as desperately.

* * *

Two weeks later, I was reading the morning paper as me and Edward had toads in the hole when I saw Tubby's picture on the front page. He had been arrested for laundering millions of dollars. They found an under age girl, about the same age as I was when he had me, locked away in the basement. He was sentenced to life with no bail. I looked out the window, thanking karma or God or whatever was the reason for these men getting what they deserved.

"What is it?" Edward asked gently.

I showed him the page I was reading. He read it, cocking an inquisitive brow. "That's the one that owned me for a month."

His eyes widened in shock then he was smiling. "I think the fucker deserves worse but_ HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH_." He came to me, kneeling and taking my hands. "Are you ready for the rest of you're new life, Isabella Swan?"

I smiled down into his face, laying my arms on his shoulders. "If it's with you, yes."

He smiled a smile full of pure joy before he kissed me. "I can't see living any other way. You are everything to me." He murmured against my lips before pulling me gently to the ground with him.

**A/N:** I hope y'all enjoyed reading this story as much as I did writing it. Such a difficult and rewarding journey this story has been for me. A million thanks for reading!

If y'all noticed that I didn't put a nickname between Bella's name, that was purposeful. A symbol that she was finally her own person with no labels attached. I wasn't sure if that was evident or not.

Until next time,

Phee


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